


Rules

by SilverMidnight



Category: NCIS
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Childhood Sexual Abuse, Drug Use, Fluff, M/M, Sex, Slash, Some Abby Bashing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-15
Updated: 2014-03-16
Packaged: 2018-01-15 19:09:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 50
Words: 79,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1316047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverMidnight/pseuds/SilverMidnight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A DNA test reveals family that Gibbs has never known about. His son. The only problems seem to lie with his son being very good at hiding and avoiding answering questions. To help get past that McGee convince Gibbs and Vance to let him shadow the team for a paper he's working on. What is McGee's involvement with Gibbs son? Warnings inside. Abby bashing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a story I've been working on for awhile. I keep going over it to make it perfect. Something I normally don't do. Anyway, a few warnings...
> 
> THERE WILL BE SEX BETWEEN TWO MALES IN THIS STORY!
> 
> More warnings will be added as the story goes on as I do not know where this is going to end up.
> 
> I own nothing. Please review. Enjoy!

"Jethro," Vance addressed calmly, "I know this is big news, but will you say something?"

Turning to the Director I wondered what he wanted me to say. If he was right, if the DNA test was right, I had a child. I had a twenty-six year old son. What was I supposed to say to that?

And he went to the same school as McGee's sister. While I doubted that they knew each other I knew that I needed to ask. I had to…I needed to know who this man was.

"Get McGee," I replied sitting down at the table and opening his file.

His name was Darren Hotchner and he was getting a degree in psychology. According to his picture he hand short spiky blonde hair and two different colored eyes, blue and brown.

In the picture he had his lower lip pierced twice, snakebite piercing, and was wearing a pair of black trousers, black steel toed boots, and an unbuttoned silver long-sleeved shirt revealing a tattoo on his chest. I couldn't quite make it out, but it was words.

Right under that tattoo was a long jagged scar. It was nice to know that he wasn't letting the scar stop him from not wearing shirts, but the scar did look like it was quite old.

Perched on the top of his head was, what looked like, a pair of purple-rimmed glasses. Around his neck was a black choker with rainbow spikes. His bellybutton was also pierced.

I read over the paperwork that came with the picture. Turns out Darren was never adopted for very long. He had a police record showing that he had runaway more than once. According to this he had done drugs too. Other than that he looked like a good kid.

The first family that adopted him, the Hotchner's, were a good family. They couldn't have children, but were more than happy to bring one into their home and love him like he was their child.

Sadly, Darren had only stayed their home from age three to five. The Hotchner family had a car accident. Neither of the parents survived, but Darren did. Of course it wasn't without problems.

Somehow a stick had gotten through the front window and into the backseat. Thankfully, it didn't do enough damage to kill Darren, but he did have to get a new heart and has regular checkups now.

"Hey Boss," McGee said walking in.

"Do you know this man?" I asked passing him the picture.

"Darren? Yeah, I know him. Is he okay?"

"He's fine. How do you know him?"

"He's…Boss, what's going on?"

Curiosity filled me when I realized that McGee didn't actually answer my question. McGee only ever did that when he was hiding something and didn't want to lie. What was he hiding?

Everyone knew that McGee wasn't good at lying. Well, he wasn't good at lying to people that weren't criminals or suspects. Even then he did his best to tell the truth the whole time. I had always liked that about him.

At the end of the day I knew that even with the horrors we saw everyday McGee was still the man he grew up to be. He was still that naïve, innocent boy that I met in Norfolk.

And he was a good man. Honest, loyal, and, for lack of a better word, sweet. And he was smart. Yes, I was quite proud to be able to call the younger man not only part of my team, but my son.

"This stays in this room," I demanded standing up.

"Of course," McGee acknowledged with a nod.

"DNA test just came in. Darren Hotchner is my son."

McGee's eyes widened almost comically at that. That made my stomach twist. He was hiding something pretty big. Something to do with my son and I really didn't like that.

By his reaction he knew Darren pretty well. Even if Sarah and Darren were friends that didn't explain how Tim knew a big secret about Darren. Just how close were the two of them?

It was possible that Darren and Sarah were dating or had dated. That would make McGee freak out. Especially if the relationship hadn't ended well or was still going on and very serious.

What if Darren was dating someone? This file wouldn't have anything on that. For all I knew Darren could have moved in with his girlfriend by now or even already engaged.

No, I doubted that was what was going on. I just needed to find out what was going on. How was I supposed to get McGee to tell me though without him thinking I was interrogating him?

"He's…Uh…He's friends with…Friends with Sarah," McGee stuttered out.

That was a lie. McGee was lying to me? The man hated lying, especially to me. Whatever he was hiding must be big. I needed to find out what he was hiding though. I had to know.

"What about you?" I questioned staring at him.

"We-We've h-hung out," McGee answered with a shrug, "H-He's try-trying to g-get me to t-talk you an-and the Dir-Director to le-let him co-come lo-look a-at some f-files and w-watch a tea-team w-work for a pap-paper."

Looking over at the Director I nodded my head slightly hoping he understood. I could deal with having someone follow my team around if that meant getting to know my son.

Though thinking about it I wasn't sure I liked the idea of Darren being a criminal psychologist. I didn't know what exactly he was going to do with the degree, but I still didn't like it.

Half of the time I wanted to convince my team to try and find different jobs. This was dangerous and they were my kids. I wanted the protect them from the things we saw on the job.

I knew that was stupid though. They loved their jobs and nothing would stop them from doing it. Anyway, this way they were all near me. I was able to watch them closely and protect them that way.

"Bring him," Vance commented standing up, "It'll give you a chance to learn about him, Jethro, and it will help him with his finish his paper. Tomorrow, McGee."


	2. Chapter 2

"Hey Tim," Sarah smiled feet propped up on my table, "What's up?"

I opened my mouth to say something when I felt a pair arms circle my waist. Smiling softly I turned around just as lips covered mine. I let myself sigh into the kiss before pulling away.

Once I was far enough away I looked into the eyes of the person who kissed me. One blue eye and one brown eye stared back at me so happily that I couldn't help but smile back.

"Darren," I whispered softly.

Darren Hotchner leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine again. I trailed my hands down his sides until they were at his hips. Pulling him closer I pulled back again and smiled.

The younger man and I had been dating for almost a year now. I almost couldn't believe it myself, but this was actually the best relationship I had ever been in. I loved him with all my heart.

We met through Sarah. Turns out Darren had borrowed a book from the school library that she had needed. My sister, being who she is, spent an entire weekend tracking him down.

The two of them ended up getting along really well. She had asked me to give him a ride to New York a little over a year and a half ago. Turns out he and I ended up getting along better than she and he did.

I had always known I was bi-sexual, but I always leaned towards girls so I had only actually dated one guy before. So it had taken awhile for me to ask Darren out, but it was worth it.

"Timothy," Darren sighed resting his head on my shoulder letting me soak in his warmth, "How was your day?"

What was I supposed to say? I had told Gibbs that I wasn't going to tell anyone what happened in the Director's office. This was my boyfriend we were talking about. I couldn't keep this from him.

"Do you trust me?" I asked softly.

"Of course," Darren said pulling back from me with a confused look, "Timothy, is everything okay?"

"I know something. Something about you that you don't know. And I can't tell you."

"What? Why not?"

"Please, please, just trust me and don't hate me if this doesn't turn out well."

I watched the different emotions play on Darren's face. I knew that I was asking a lot of him, but I couldn't tell him. I just hoped when he did find out he didn't hate me for keeping it from him.

"Tim," Sarah voiced standing up.

I spared her a look when she said that before looking back at Darren. Neither of them liked this. I didn't either. In the end though I knew if this went bad I was going to lose everything.

When Darren didn't reply after a minute I did the only thing I could think of. I placed a hand on the back of his head and drug him into a kiss making sure to pour every ounce of emotion that I was feeling into it.

I hated what I was doing. I really did, but I knew that it was what I had to do. I just needed him to trust me. At least until I figured out what Gibbs was going to do. I just needed a little time.

"Okay," Darren responded when I pulled away, "I trust you."

"Thank you," I smiled softly, "I have good news though."

"Oh?"

"I talked to my boss and the Director. They agreed to let you read over some case files and shadow my team."

Suddenly a wide smile came to Darren's lips as he hugged me tightly before pulling and going to hug Sarah as well. He had been asking me for months to do this and I never thought it was a good idea.

Honestly I still didn't think it was a good idea. This wasn't about me though. This was about Gibbs and his son. The only family that either of them had left. Something both of them needed.

Oh no. I was dating Gibbs son. A son he hadn't ever met, but still. That and the fact that I didn't think he even knew that I was bi, let alone his son was gay. This was not going to end well.

I loved Darren though. I loved him with all my heart and I couldn't lose him. If this didn't end well and something happened between Darren and Gibbs then I might lose him and my job.

No, I loved my job, I did, but at the end of the day if I had a choice I'd pick Darren. Still, I hoped that I would never have to pick between the two of them. I didn't want to lose either of them.

"You are the best, Timothy," Darren grinning before kneeling in front of Jett, "Isn't Timothy the best, Jett? He is, isn't he?"

Smiling I looked from Darren and Jett to Sarah and the smile left my face. She motioned for me to come with her and she lead me into the small kitchen. As soon as we were there she glared angrily at me.

"I can't tell you either," I quickly stated.

"Tim, this is Darren we're talking about," Sarah glared crossing her arms.

"I know and you know how much I love him. Sarah, I wouldn't be doing this if I thought there was a way around it."

Sarah's glare deepened before a sigh fell from her lips. She knew Darren as well as I did and she wanted to keep him protected. Even if that meant protecting him from me.

"What if he gets hurt?" Sarah muttered softly.

"I'm not going to say he won't," I sighed looking over at him, "But if he does than you need to be there for him."

"What about you?"

"We both know that if this goes wrong I'm going to side with Darren. We also know that in the end Darren might hate me. He might not talk to me ever again. You need to be there for him."

"Guys," Darren cut in standing up, "I need a to get some good clothes if I'm going to NCIS tomorrow."


	3. Chapter 3

"Gibbs," McGee voiced from his desk when I walked into the bullpen, "He's upstairs with the Director."

I felt my stomach turn when he said that. I knew that Darren was going to be coming in today, but that still didn't mean I was ready. Today I was going to meet my son for the first time.

Then I looked over at McGee. His eyes were trained on the upper level waiting for Darren to come out of the Director's office. He was close enough to my son to be protective over him.

"He hates dressing up," McGee stated softly, "Suits and ties. They're not him. But he refused to listen to me when I said it would be fine if he didn't wear one."

"What are we watching?" Tony asked walking in with Ziva.

McGee and I turned to the pair without saying anything. I knew that McGee wasn't going to say anything, they'd know if he lied, and I wasn't going to tell them the truth. Yet.

Luckily, before I had to say anything Director Vance walked out of his office with Darren following him. As McGee had said he was wearing a suit and tie. The tie he was tugging on as he walked.

His blond hair had grown out a little and was now brushing his ears. Everything else about him was the same though. This was it. I was finally meeting my twenty-six year old son.

"Mr. Hotchner, this is the team you'll be shadowing," Director Vance said calmly, "Team Leader, Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs and Special Agents Anthony DiNozzo and Ziva David. You already know Agent McGee."

"I do," Darren smiled at McGee, "It's a pleasure to meet you all and thank you, Agent Gibbs. I know it took awhile for Timothy to convince you to let me do this."

McGee smiled back at Darren before looking towards me. He knew that I knew he was hiding something. It might take me awhile, but I knew I was going to find out what it was. I always did.

"Boss?" Tony asked confused.

"Darren will be shadowing us and looking through our old case files for his thesis paper," McGee explained quickly, "Psychology major."

Tony and Ziva turned to Darren only to have him wave slightly. Neither of them really knew what to make of that. Normally I hated having people added to my team like this, but this was anything but normal.

Darren was my son and I had to get to know him. This was the simplest way to get him around me and learn about him. I was going to make the best out of this situation before it was too late.

Everyone continued to stare at Darren until he smiled widely, took two steps back, and did a back flip. Almost instantly McGee was smiling while shaking his head while everyone else continued to stare.

"Sorry," Darren shrugged, "One trick per day. Unless I get compensation."

"Are you trying to get money from a Federal Officer?" Tony asked staring at him.

"Of course not. I take food as well."

A small chuckle fell from McGee's lips causing Darren to grin at him. They were apparently quite close friends. Was that just because of Darren's friendship with Sarah or was something else going on?

"That reminds me," Darren continued still looking at McGee, "I was surfing the web last night and I find this wicked sweet house that I want to move into."

"I'm not co-signing for you," McGee answered shaking his head.

"I'm hurt, Timothy. Of course you're not. You're going to help me move in."

McGee's eyes widened ever so slightly at that before pure joy filled them. How was Darren moving making him so happy? Unless, Darren was telling McGee something without actually saying it.

"And by that you mean?" McGee questioned softly.

"You're going to do all the work while I play with Jett in the pool," Darren grinned happily.

Rolling his eyes McGee turned around calmly and sat at his desk. Darren said things like that a lot? He played the innocent card. Was he like Abby in that way? Was he like her in other ways?

I wasn't sure how I felt about that. I loved Abby, I did, but I wasn't sure what I'd do with two of them. No, McGee might not have told me a lot about Darren, anything really, but he would have said something if he was like her.

"Make dinner and you have a deal," McGee said before typing on his computer.

Darren agreed with a quick nod before turning to myself and the rest of the team, the Director had left after introductions. He smiled slightly at us before tucking on his tie slightly.

"You two know each other?" Tony asked motioning between Darren and McGee.

"Yeah," Darren nodded, "We've known each other for almost…Timothy?"

I watched McGee once again shake his head amusement in his eyes. This was something that he had gotten used to from Darren. What exactly was the extent of their relationship?

"You remember every episode of 'Charmed' and 'Supernatural', almost word for word, and yet you can't remember when we first met," McGee added not looking up from his computer.

"I can also remember a certain story a certain sister told a certain friend knowing that said friend will use said story to torture said…Person the story is about?" Darren finished cocking his head to the side.

"Strong beginning, weak ending. Known each other for a year and a half, Darren."

McGee was different around Darren. He was extremely relaxed. I doubted he even knew he was acting this way. It was odd to see McGee like this, but both of them seemed comfortable.

Too comfortable. I was fine with them being friends. McGee was a good guy and them being friends was a good thing. Especially with what I read about Darren's past in his file.

If anyone was able to keep my son from going back to his past McGee would. Why did Darren do drugs anyway? Or any of the things that had gotten him arrested, at least three time?

"Psychology," Tony suddenly stated, "Why'd you choose that as your major?"

"Honestly?" Darren sighed, "I met a Drag Queen when I was living in New York. She always talked about how she wished she understood what went on in people's heads. When she died of an accidental O.D. I decided I'd honor her memory by getting a degree in something she loved."

"Seriously?"

Darren looked around the small group before a wide grin came to his lips. That grin made it obvious to everyone that he had lied. But why would he lie about something like that?

I had read everything in his file, but nothing written there was telling me anything about Darren. I didn't know the important things about him and it seemed like he didn't want anyone to.

"So, can I get started?" Darren asked instead of answering Tony.

Nodding my head at McGee I watched him get up and led Darren to the file room. My eyes trailed after them, until I watched the elevator doors close, hoping that I would get an idea of what they were hiding.

"This isn't a good idea," Tony declared softly.

"Tony?" Ziva asked staring at him.

"He just lied, Ziva. About something as simple as why he's getting his degree."

"Maybe he does not want us to know."

"So why didn't he just say that?"

"Tony, he is friends with McGee. I am sure that he has heard stories."

Tony and Ziva continued to talk about Darren as I went to my desk. Why had he lied? It really was a simple question, but he didn't want us to know. Was Ziva right that he knew stories of the team?

No, McGee loved the team, though it did get rocky sometimes. If he did tell Darren stories I doubted they painted the team in a negative way. Darren simply didn't want us to know.

"Come on, Timothy," Darren smiled carrying to boxes with him, "Work it."

Darren and McGee were each carrying two boxes of files as they walked back to McGee's desk. As soon as the boxes were on the ground Darren dropped to his knees and pulled a bag out from behind the desk.

"You got everything?" McGee asked not sitting yet.

"Five extremely large bottles of soda?" Darren responded with a grin.

"Okay, but you get to explain to Sarah how you got them."

"I don't get why she thinks I need to eat better. I mean, do I look unhealthy to you?"

A strange look came to McGee's face when Darren said that. It wasn't just a soda. Something had happened to make not only Sarah worried about Darren, but McGee as worried as well.

"Darren," McGee sighed softly, "You almost died the last time you had too much sugar."

"No," Darren answered shaking his head, "I almost died because I was on a sugar rush and thought I'd run from one end of the city to the other. My heart was racing too quickly. I was being stupid."

"Yeah, you were. Which is why we don't want you to go on a sugar rush again. I don't want to spend another week visiting the hospital because you had an allergic reaction to whatever they gave you to help your heart."


	4. Chapter 4

"Timothy," Darren sang leaning against my desk.

Darren was sitting on the ground next to my desk with files around him, a notebook and pen on his right, and a laptop in his lap. I always found the way he did research odd.

He hated sitting at a desk, which he had an option of using. He always wrote everything down in a notebook, which he labeled, before typing it up. He also had everything organized in a specific way.

I had learned the hard way not to reorganize, or not put back in their right spot, his things. He didn't talk to me for two weeks when I did that. It was not something I'd like to relive. Ever.

"Yes, Darren?" I asked looking down at him.

This was the thing about Darren that took the longest to get used to. He was smart, but he was still like a child in many cases. He didn't even realize he did it and after the first time I pointed it out I knew better.

Darren knew that he didn't have a normal childhood. Yet he hated when people tried to blame his behavior on that. He didn't want his childhood to be important anymore. He just wanted to forget it. Not that I could blame him.

I had heard stories about his childhood over the past year an a half and I had heard him whimpering and crying in his sleep. I hated that more than anything because no matter what I couldn't help him.

And I tried. I tried to help him move on and forget what happened, but it was just too much. All of the things that happened weren't things that a person could get over quickly.

So when Darren had a nightmare or just had a bad day I was there for him. I made sure he knew he could talk to me, but most of the time we just ended up watching slasher movies.

He did the same thing for me. I couldn't count the times I ended up with him curled in my arms just to remind me that the world isn't just filled with hatred and murder.

Though at the end of the day my favorite thing was when he just sat there reading a book while combing a hand through my hair. It was those few things that helped me remember why I did what I did.

I had no illusions in my mind that what I had with Darren could easily be stripped away. Which is what I was begging to happen if I kept lying to him. What had I been thinking?

Oh, I knew what I was thinking. I could remember the first time anyone found out about me being bi-sexual. I could remember the fighting and the anger. Mostly though I remembered the disappointment.

It put a bigger strain on the Admiral and my relationship and I didn't want the same thing to happen with Gibbs and I. Maybe that was selfish on my part. Okay, it was extremely selfish on my part.

I was going to have to tell Gibbs what was going on. No matter how many times I thought Gibbs was like the Admiral I knew that he wasn't going to be disappointed in me for this. I just needed to grow-up.

"I want shrimp," Darren responded staring up at me.

"Well," I said looking at the clock before looking at Gibbs, "Boss, lunch run?"

Gibbs nodded his head once without looking up from his file. I could see that he was looking up periodically at Darren trying to get a feel for him, but I knew that wasn't going to do much.

The Darren you got from afar was a totally different people than the real Darren. The younger man seemed…Well, he seemed like Abby from afar. Which was not true at all.

I mean, there's nothing wrong with being like Abby, but she was very in your face, do things my way. Darren wasn't. He actually hated being in charge in most cases. He just went with the flow. Unless he truly wanted something.

Which was a little weird. I wasn't really used to being the one in charge. Darren liked having a guiding force though. It helped when he ended up standing up all night studying or forgot to eat or forgot to shower. Yeah, Darren forgot a lot of things.

After getting everyone's order Darren and I made our way into the elevator. My mind was still on my Boss though. He did all of this to get to know his son and that wasn't really happening.

I could help him though. I knew Darren. I loved Darren. From the beginning of this I knew that I was going to have to tell Gibbs about Darren and I. I had thought I would have more time, but he needed this now.

Gibbs needed to know that his son was an amazing person and that he wasn't alone anymore. That Darren was loved and he had a place he could call home. He needed to know that his son was happy.

Ever since I became part of Team Gibbs I had grown as a person, but that didn't mean that I wasn't afraid. Right now though…Right now this wasn't about me. It was about Darren and Gibbs.

I just needed to tell Gibbs what was going on before I lost my nerve. Then I was going to have to tell Darren what I had done. I'm rather get into a fight with Ziva, but this was my fault and I was going to deal with the fallout.

"Darren," I sighed staring at him, "I need to talk to my Boss. Can I meet you in the car?"

"Of course," Darren smiled.

I sent a quick txt to Gibbs, it took awhile, but he finally knew how to read txts, and waited. By the time I rode back upstairs Gibbs was waiting for me. He quickly got in, but didn't look at me until he stopped the elevator.

Truthfully, I had no idea what I was supposed to say to the man. Yes, I wanted him to know his son, but there was so much I couldn't tell him. So much that he had to learn.

This was Darren's life and while I knew I was a big part of it I had also known that in the end no matter what it was up to Darren. If he said so Gibbs would never get to know him.

No, Darren wouldn't do that to Gibbs. He'd understand why I did things this way. He might not like it and might hate me for awhile, but he would understand the things that I did.

"You're not getting to know Darren," I muttered softly.

Gibbs cocked an eyebrow and continued to stare at me. He knew that I was trying to figure out the right words, but they seemed to escape me. Something that happened a lot when it came to Darren.

Still, there were so many things I couldn't say because he didn't know about Darren and I. Honestly, I wasn't sure when I was supposed to tell him anymore, but I did know he was going to be mad when I did.

I should have told him the second I saw that picture. I just didn't know how he was going to take it and in the end I knew I wouldn't be able to say it in front of the Director.

"Boss," I said hoping I was doing the right thing, "I know Darren comes off…Weird when you first meet him, but he's nothing like that. I mean, yeah, he's a little out there and all, but he's a good guy."

"McGee," Gibbs interrupted me.

"I should have told you."

"Told me what?"

Looking down I wondered what I was doing. This wasn't just about me, but I couldn't keep lying. Not when I knew just how much this meant to Gibbs. I couldn't do that to the man. I couldn't do it to either of them.

"Boss," I whispered, "Please, don't hate me."

"McGee," Gibbs responded.

"I'm dating Darren."

Everything seemed to freeze when I said that. I don't know what I'm expecting him to do now that he knew, but I did know it had to be fast since Darren was waiting for me.

At the same time I wanted Gibbs to take his time and think about everything. He didn't really react with emotions often, but when he did it was because of his family or the team.

Right now, I was telling him that not only was his son, a son he hadn't met before, gay, but that one of the members of his team, that he also didn't know was bi-sexual, was dating said man.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Gibbs asked softly.

"I was scared at first," I shook my head, "I mean, you're my boss and I'm in love with the man you just found out is your son. Gibbs, I didn't want this to change anything. Not like it had changed between my Father and I. I just wanted everything to work out and nothing to changed. I know I was being childish and petty and selfish, but I don't want to lose any of this. I didn't want you to be mad at me or hate me. And I can't lose Darren either. I was scared that I'd have to pick between my job and Darren. And yeah, I'd pick Darren over work every time, but I still don't want to lose anything. I'm sorry, Boss."

Silence filled the elevator and I wondered exactly what Gibbs was going to do to me. Why did I think I could hide this from him? I really needed to stop doing stupid things.

It seemed like every time I tried to do what I thought was the right thing I ended up messing everything up. I ended up hurting people and, if I was right, I was going to end up hurting Darren.

I still had to tell Darren. What was I supposed to say to the man? No, right now I needed to focus on Gibbs. If I could get Gibbs to understand I could get Darren to understand as well.

"Why are you telling me this now, Tim?" Gibbs questioned crossing his arms over his chest.

"Because I know how much family means to you," I sighed, "I can't even begin to imagine how it felt hearing that you had a son after all these years."

"But you didn't tell me when you saw him."

Turning away from him I ran a hand through my hair and tried to think. I just needed to clear my head and I needed to get Gibbs to understand what I had been thinking.

"The first time I came out it didn't end well for me," I answered running a hand through my hair, "Boss, I already lost one father. I can't…I don't want to lose another one because of this."

Gibbs stared at me for a moment before nodding his head. Okay, he understands at least part of what I was thinking. I just hoped that this wasn't going to end up being a bad thing.

Looking at the ground I wondered what I was thinking. It was too early for me to tell him something like this. He had literally just met…Before I could finish my thoughts I felt a smack to the back of my head.

A small smile came to my lips when he did that. Gibbs understood. He knew why I did what I did and he wasn't mad at me. I wasn't going to lose him if this ended up going badly.

"I love him, Gibbs," I stated softly, "The house he mentioned is one we're buying together. He knows I'm not out here that's why he said it the way he did. Boss, I swear, I'd never hurt him."

Still, just because he understood why I did everything I did that didn't mean he was happy about me dating Darren. I honestly hadn't figured about where Gibbs stood on the whole thing.

We hadn't really had a case about it and even when we did Gibbs didn't let himself get attached to cases. He never let us know what was going on in his mind unless we had to know.

Now he had to face it head on and if he reacted the wrong way Darren would shut him out of his life. Darren had been so badly hurt in his past. Just one thing could trigger him to pull away completely.

I didn't want that, but there wasn't anything I could really do about it now. Gibbs seemed to accept what I was saying, but that didn't mean that he was ready to accept the reality of it.

The ball was in Gibbs court and in the end it wasn't going to be me that he had to deal with. It was Darren. The only thing I could do was hope that in the end neither of them got too hurt.

It would be my fault if they did. I needed to go everything I could to make sure that didn't happen. I needed to make sure that they would be able to work this out. I just didn't know how yet.

"I love your son, Gibbs," I said one last time.

"I know, Tim," Gibbs nodded, "I know."


	5. Chapter 5

"So, Agent Gibbs," Darren said leaning into the front seat, "Where exactly are we going?"

It had been two days since Darren had started his project and this was our first case. A break and enter resulting in the death of a Marine Petty Officer. At least that's what the local cops were saying.

It had also been two days since McGee had told me that he was dating my son. I still wasn't all too sure what I was supposed to think about that. It wasn't that I was upset about him being gay or McGee being bi. I just hadn't thought about it before.

No, it was the idea that McGee and my son were dating. I did care about McGee like he was my son, nothing would change that. Then there was how I felt about my son, Darren.

Darren seemed to be a lot like Abby. Like he hadn't fully grown up, but I had heard what McGee had said. Darren was only like that from a far. I had to get closer to the man. Which was going to be difficult.

Over the past two days Tony and Ziva had been trying to get to know the younger man. I had to admit Darren was good at evading questions when he needed to. I don't think he answered one question yet.

That was obviously getting on Tony's nerves. He didn't like that there were so many unanswered questions about someone that was working with his team. But he had also seen McGee's interactions with Darren.

Ziva was the same way. She didn't trust Darren, but with how McGee was acting they were both trying to give the man a chance. Something I knew was going to change soon if Darren didn't open up at least a little.

Still, they knew there was a close friendship between Darren and McGee. Close enough to bring out a side of McGee we hadn't seen. I just didn't know how they were going to react when they found everything out.

Then there was Abby. That was something that weighed heavily on my mind. McGee didn't seem to want Abby and Darren to meet. And I had no idea what I was supposed to think of that.

"We're going to the crime scene," Tony answered turning to Darren, "And you're going to see a crime scene in action instead of reading about it."

"Okay, Agent DiNozzo, how have your feelings changed from your first crime scene to now?" Darren asked turning his attention to Tony.

Normally Tony didn't run out of things to say, but this was something he couldn't joke himself out of. Your first crime scene, no matter how much you prepare yourself, would stay with you.

No one reacted well during their first crime scene and if they did then there was a reason to worry. And in the end there was no way a person would ever forget that first scene.

"Would you rather me ask these questions in private?" Darren tried instead looking between everyone.

Before anyone could answer I pulled up to the crime scene and climbed out of the van. Everyone else slowly followed my lead while getting everything they needed for the scene.

"Darren," Tony voiced suddenly standing next to him his voice low enough that I could barely hear it, "Friendly advice from someone who's been there. Get as far away from the crime scene before you throw up."

With that Tony walked away from Darren and into the scene. Darren stood frozen for a second before taking a few deep breaths. He didn't know what he was going to see, but he was taking what Tony said to heart.

When McGee was by Darren's side the two of them made their way into the house. It looked like a house any normal bachelor would have, until you got into the kitchen.

Darren's eyes went around the whole room before they landed on the body. A bullet hole had hit the victims face and since it was a high caliber gun, the face was basically missing.

His eyes widened slightly before he started to swallow quickly. Taking Tony's advice he walked out of the kitchen and out of the house. It wasn't until I saw him by the van that he finally allowed himself to be sick.

"Made it further than I did," Tony muttered to himself.

McGee looked between the three of us before his eyes landed on me. I could see him practically begging me to let him go check on Darren. Let him go check on his boyfriend.

I knew that it was for the best to let McGee check on him, but for a reason I didn't want think about I wanted nothing more than to keep McGee away and check on the student myself.

Sighing to myself I pushed my thoughts away. There was no reason for me to react like that. He might be my son, but I didn't know him. I had no say in this and I didn't want to deal with these thoughts right now.

"Take him home, McGee," I responded to the unanswered question.

As soon as McGee was outside he helped Darren into a car before driving off. Though if you knew what you were looking for you would have seen the agent physically stop himself from pulling Darren into a hug.

It was odd to watch them knowing what I did. Not only was Darren, someone I had just meet, my son, but McGee, someone I had known for years and considered family, was dating him.

What was I supposed to think or say about this when I didn't know the man? No, I wasn't allowed to say anything. Even when he finally knew that he was my son I had no say in what was happening.

Darren was a twenty-six year old man who had grown up taking care of himself. No mattered what happened now I knew that I was never going to be the father that I wanted to him.

He was already a grown up and had basically raised himself. There was nothing left for me to teach him. And I hated that more than I ever wanted to admit to myself or anyone else.

No, I had no say in anything that Darren did. And, truthfully, I couldn't think of a better person for him to date. McGee was a good guy. I just needed to get used to the idea of them being together.

That didn't mean that it was going to be easy for me. They had known each other for a year and a half and been together for who knew how long. They were getting ready to move in together.

I liked McGee I thought of him as a son, but there was something in me that wanted nothing more than to force them to take a step back just so I could protect Darren from someone he didn't need protection from.

I was okay with McGee and Darren dating. Wasn't I? It didn't matter either way. This wasn't about me. It was about those two. That didn't mean that I was okay with everything. I needed to figure this out.

Sighing I looked around the crime scene and remembered every fight that I had gotten into with my ex-wives. How well were Darren and McGee getting along with this job?

It seemed like they were doing fine in that category, but looks could be deceiving. Too many thoughts were running through my head and none of them were concerning the job I had to do.

"Boss," Tony commented interrupting my thoughts, "Why…Why is Darren here?"

"Is there a problem with him being here?" I questioned calmly.

"You hate having people follow the team around and you hate psychologist. I just think it's weird you're suddenly bring one to watch the team and then there's how McGee is acting. And how Darren is acting. I mean, who is that guy? Why won't he answer any of our questions?"

Those were a few of the questions that I needed to answer. I knew that it wasn't going to be easy. It was never easy when you were questioning a psychologist, even if they were just a student.

Then there was what I knew about his past. None of that made for a very trusting person. Given I had no idea who Darren was so I had no idea if I was right or not. I just have McGee's word.

It was a good thing that I trusted the man. If it was anyone else I wouldn't have gotten this far at all. Anyone else would have done everything to keep me away from Darren.

It was also a very good that McGee trusted me. If he didn't trust me he would have kept his relationship with Darren a secret and that would have hurt all three of us in the end.

There was still something that made me believe that something was wrong with this whole thing. Maybe it was because I didn't know Darren, but I wasn't one to brush the feeling away.

"Work, Tony," I replied.

Tony was right. I needed to get my son to talk. Right now it didn't matter if it was to me or with Tony or Ziva. He needed to open up at least a little before something ended up happening.

Because knowing my team they were going to start looking for what Darren was hiding. If they did that and got caught it wasn't just Darren that was going to be hurt. So was McGee.

I knew that things weren't going to be easy when I found out I had a son, but I hadn't thought it was going to be this difficult. For once I didn't know what I was going to do to fix this.


	6. Chapter 6

"I'm sorry, Timothy," Darren exclaimed throwing his arms around me as soon as the door closed, "I'll never complain about your work again. Never."

The younger mans arms were tight around me as he buried his face in my neck. I could feel the wetness from his tears slowly drip down my neck as his shoulders started to shake.

This was another reason I didn't want Darren to come to work with me. I had seen so many things on the job and I knew that he was going to see them as well. I never wanted to see him see them.

Hearing a soft whimper I looked down and saw Jett sitting there. I hadn't even heard him run into the living room to greet us like he always did. It looked like he lost all of his excitement.

"I think someone wants to check on you," I whispered slowly bringing Darren to the couch and pulling away fully.

Once he was sitting down Jett jumped up on the couch. Almost instantly Darren was holding onto the dog still crying softly. Why did we have to have a case when Darren was there?

"I'm sorry, Darren," I said kneeling in front of him, "I'm so sorry."

He turned towards me and I was finally able to see his face. I had never seen him look so sad before and I never wanted to see him look like this ever again. It broke my heart.

Brushing the tears away gently I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his. He had done this so many times over the past year. Just comforting me when the job got too much.

I pulled back and stared into his eyes. A small smile came to his lips as he moved over telling me that he wanted me on the couch with him. With a snap of my fingers Jett jumped off the couch.

Calmly kicking off my shoes and jacket I slipped behind Darren on the couch and moved around until both of us were lying down. Once both of us were comfortable I snapped my fingers again causing Jett to jump up and cuddle into Darren.

"Your job sucks," Darren muttered softly.

"I know," I nodded slightly, "But I love it."

"How do you do it, Timothy? How can you face those crimes every day? The victims? How can you tell someone they're never going to see their loved one again?"

Sighing I closed my eyes and remembered what had happened today. We had just gotten to the crime scene when Gibbs told me to bring Darren home. I hated to say it, but that wasn't even the hardest case we had worked.

"I do it…I do it because then I get to tell them that it won't happen to another family," I answered running a hand up and down his arm, "It doesn't help much. It doesn't bring whomever they lost back, but I guess…I guess I like to think that it helps. At least a little."

Darren nodded his head slightly before cuddling further into me. Wrapping a hand around his waist I splayed my hand over his stomach. A content sigh fell from his lips and I felt him relax.

A smile came to my lips at that. I knew that it wasn't right that I was here with my boyfriend in my arms while the rest of the team was working, but I couldn't bring myself to care. He needed me right now.

I knew that he had seen crime scenes in photos before. I also knew that it was completely different to actually been in a scene. Everyone had a hard time with their first scene.

That's why I doubted Tony and Ziva would be upset about it. It was just a thing that you dealt with. It didn't help though that Darren wasn't a cop. He was a psychology student. He shouldn't have to see things like that.

"I love you," Darren said sleepily.

"I love you too," I responded kissing his forehead.

"I know. Don't take this the wrong way, Timothy, but you should leave."

"What?"

Darren moved slowly so he didn't disturb Jett until he was facing me and looked up at me. I could still see the sadness in his eyes, but there was something else there now too. Determination.

"You and your team have to find whoever did that to that man," Darren stared at me, "You have to go do your job."

Smiling slightly I pressed my lips to his. I knew that he was still scared, but he understood more now. He knew why I did what I did and, for some reason, I kind of hated that he did.

Darren moved closer to me a hand slipping to the back of my head holding me against him. The hand I had on his stomach went under his shirt so my nails could slowly scrap at his skin.

"Go, Timothy," Darren sighed pulling back, "Or I'm not going to let you leave at all."

"What are you going to do while I'm gone?" I asked knowing he needed to keep his mind off what he saw.

"Cuddle with Jett, read a story about this Agent Tibbs and his team, and order some Chinese, if my stomach stops churning."

"Okay. Just keep your mind busy. It'll help."

"I will. Do you think you could bring back some files and my things with you when you get off work?"

Nodding my head I brought Darren into another kiss. I was going to leave and go back to work, if not only to help put the younger mans mind at ease, but it was hard to walk away from this spot.

Darren sighed softly his eyes slipping shut. He fingers tightened in my hair and I pressed my other hand to his back. I pulled the man as close to me as possible before gently nudging Jett so he'd get off the couch.

Once I heard the tapping of Jett's nails walking away I moved us around so I was above Darren, straddling his hips. I broke the kiss to give Darren a soft smile before placing my lips to his neck.

Nipping on the spot below his ear I listened as the soft moans fell from his lips. I really did love knowing he was vocal. Sadly, I didn't have time to fully enjoy the noises he was making.

"I'll be back, Darren," I said pulling away fully and standing up.

"I'll be waiting," Darren stated as I kissing his forehead, "I love you."


	7. Chapter 7

"Hey Boss," McGee greeted climbing into the elevator.

"What are you doing here?" I asked flipping the off switch.

McGee looked around before leaning against the wall. I didn't like the look that was in his eyes, but I knew that it must have been better than the one that Darren had been giving him.

Tony was right. The first crime scene was always the worst. Everyone always reacted badly the first time they saw a dead body. I would have been worried if he hadn't been sick.

"Darren understands now," McGee explained softly, "He understands my job."

I had spent years hearing from my three ex-wives that they wanted nothing more than to understand why I did what I did. No matter what I said though they never did fully get it.

Now Darren had seen what McGee did first hand and obviously they had talked to each other. McGee didn't seem to like the idea that Darren did understand why he did this job.

I couldn't say I blamed him. No matter how trained a person was the real test was how they reacted at a crime scene. Some never made it past the first scene while some of the stayed. This job wasn't right for everyone.

And Darren wasn't trying to become a cop. No, he wanted to be a psychologist and if I remembered correctly not even a criminal psychologist. Why exactly did he want to observe us?

"He told me to come back," McGee continued calmly, "He told me that we had to do our job and find the man that did this."

"Good idea," I nodded slightly.

Silence filled the small elevator before McGee finally slipped something out of his pocket. He played with it in his hands for a moment until he looked up at me and opened his hands.

It was a brand new key. I stared at it in confusion for a moment before I remembered what McGee said about moving. By the smile on his face McGee was quite happy about the move.

"I got the keys before I came back," McGee smiled, "I figured Darren needed some good news today."

"One year," I stared at him.

"Yeah. We've been together for almost one year now. He realized it was stupid to go back and forth to his dorm and my apartment. One day he just brought his things in and he never left."

The smile grew on his face before he gently put the key back in his pocket. As his eyes slowly lifted to mine though the smile was replaced by a look of pure confused sadness.

"I can't keep this up, Boss," McGee shook his head, "I can't keep this from Darren."

"McGee," I said cocking an eyebrow.

"After the case you need to talk to Darren. You need to tell him that you're his father. Boss, he's going to hate me for lying to him, but I might be able to keep this from blowing up too much if you tell him now."

"Tim…"

"I'm sorry, Boss. If you don't tell him that he's your son when the case ends then I'm going to have to do it myself."

I stared at McGee for awhile with a blank face though I felt surprise fill me. I knew that McGee loved Darren, but to see him this protective was something else. I couldn't help but be proud.

At the same time it also made me think. I knew that McGee was a good man and would take care of Darren no matter what. So, why did it feel like I was going insane knowing they were together?

Part of me already knew that answer. I didn't know Darren. By looking at him I got the impression that he was like Abby and McGee had already been hurt by someone like her.

Wait, was it possible that I wasn't feeling overprotective of Darren, but of McGee? That would make more sense since I didn't actually know the man as of yet while I already thought of McGee as my son.

This while situation was giving me a headache. I was protective over Darren, protective over McGee, curious as to why McGee wanted Darren away from Abby. He was right. This needed to end now.

"After the case," I agreed calmly.

McGee smiled slightly at that and turned to face the doors as I turned the elevator on. I didn't know how long the case was going to take, but I knew that it wasn't going to be long enough.

I didn't know what I was supposed to say to my son and even worse I didn't know how he was going to react. And I was on a case so all of these thoughts got pushed to the side.

This was my son though. I needed to know what I was supposed to say and do to make it not only easier on him, but I had to make sure in the end McGee wasn't hurt as well.

My agent was taking a risk by lying to the man he loved and I knew that. If this didn't go well then he was going to lose that love and I knew that it was going to be my fault if he did.

No, McGee was right. I needed to tell Darren what was going on before this blew up in our faces. I just had no idea how I was supposed to do that. How did you tell a man who thought he was an orphan you were his father?

"How is Darren?" Ziva asked McGee when we walked up.

"He's going to be back tomorrow," McGee answered with a smile, "He's a little shaken, but I know him. He's just going to come back and be even more determined than before."

"He is a very determined person."

"He is. Look, I know that Darren is a little much to take in sometimes, but he's a good guy. You'll like him once you get past his walls. Which takes awhile, but it's worth it."

Ziva and Tony exchanged a look when McGee said that. They knew McGee well enough to know that he had a good heart. An innocent heart. In the end it would be very easy to take advantage of him.

That was a thought that came into everyone's minds when they heard that McGee talk about someone he was friends with. They needed to know that in the end he wasn't going to get hurt.

No matter what Tony and Ziva thought of McGee as their younger brother. It was their job to protect them. How were they going to react when they realized who Darren actually was?

"I'm just asking you guys to go easy on him," McGee continued with a hopeful smile, "He's going to ask questions that you're going to hate answering, but he really does want to help."

"Okay," Tony sighed, "We'll go easy on him. If…"

McGee's eyes widened when Tony said that. Tony always had something up his sleeve when he wanted something. What exactly was the 'Very Special Agent' going to ask for?

"Why is Darren getting a degree in Criminal Psychology?" Tony asked staring at McGee.

"I can't answer that," McGee said shaking his head, "That's Darren's story. I will tell you that he's not getting a degree in Criminal Psychology, but just plain Psychology."

Tony nodded his head before looking at Ziva who took a step forward at that moment. It seemed both of them had decided it was time to get to know the student. Even if he wasn't here.

"You commented on his heart," Ziva cut in cocking her head to the side, "Is his heart weak?"

"That I can answer," McGee sighed sadly, "Darren was in a car accident when he was a kid. The doctors were able to save him, but only because they replaced his heart with another persons. He still has some things that he can't do because of that. Running from one side of the city to another while on a sugar high is one of them.

I made that comment because he ended up having to go to the hospital and they ended up giving him a new type of medication. He had an really bad allergic reaction to it and had to spend a week in the hospital while they helped him get better. Sarah does her best to keep him away from sugar so he doesn't do that again."

"Sarah and Darren are good friends?"

"Best friends. Sarah's a little more sarcastic than Darren, but they get along really well."

"Are they dating?"

I watched McGee's jaw tighten ever so slightly at that. It seemed like that wasn't the first time that he had been asked that question. The only difference was he couldn't tell anyone that he was the one dating Darren.

Why hadn't he told the team that he was bi-sexual? Let alone already dating someone. He did say his Father didn't react well, but how badly had the man reacted for him to hide for this long?

Now that I thought about it I found myself not wanting to know the answer to that. The point was that he had come out to me and I was going to help him do the same with everyone else.

"No," McGee responded shaking his head, "They're just friends."

"Alright," I interrupted, "Back to work. We have a case to solve."


	8. Chapter 8

"Hey Gibbs," Abby beamed skipping into the bullpen.

I nodded my head to her but didn't look away from the file before me. We needed to find a lead and whoever killed this man was good at covering his tracks. We just needed one lead.

Sighing to myself I looked up and saw the Goth looking down at Darren curiously. I realized that this was probably the first time that they were meeting. From some reason that didn't sit very well with me.

McGee had been extremely cautious in making sure they didn't meet. And considering it was just Darren, Abby and I in the bullpen I knew this wasn't going to end well.

"You must be Darren," Abby smiled looking down at him, "I'm Abby."

Darren barely glanced up at the scientist before going back to his notes. I almost didn't notice it, but the pen gripped in his right hand clenched slightly when Abby spoke. Okay, he didn't like Abby at all, but what did she do to him?

No, that wasn't the right question. Darren and Abby had just meet. There's no way she did something to him. It is completely possible though that Darren was upset at Abby because of something she did to McGee.

That didn't make much sense either. McGee would have told me if something had happened between him and Abby. Wouldn't he? Had McGee ever truly sought me out to talk about anything?

Alright so McGee wouldn't tell me if something had happened between him and Abby. Though looking at Darren's reaction there obviously was something and that something was quite big.

"What are you working on?" Abby asked cocking her head to the side.

Darren sighed softly while closing his notebook and laptop before placing them on McGee's desk. His movements were slow as he stood up, but from the glare in his eyes I knew that he was making sure he was in control of everything he did.

"A headache," Darren almost growled out before turning and walking towards the restrooms.

Abby took a slight step back as he walked past her, but soon she was glaring at him as well. Okay, neither of them liked each other now. This really was not going to end well.

Soon Abby was facing me with her normal pout. Normally that would have me following the person that upset her and making sure that never happened again. The only difference was the person that upset her was Darren.

What was I supposed to do when two people I considered my children didn't get along? Especially when one of them didn't even know that I thought of him as my child? Darren wasn't the only one feeling a headache coming on.

"Gibbs," Abby whined.

Standing up I pulled Abby into a hug while my mind continued to think. Was I going to have to pick between Abby and Darren at some point? Or was it possible to get them at least on friendly terms?

"Why did you agree to let  _him_ tail you?" Abby questioned angrily.

"He's McGee's friend," I answered halfway.

Part of me wanted to tell the scientist, and the rest of my team, what was going on, but it would be wrong for them to know before Darren knew himself. Still, it might be easier for everyone if they knew.

I knew that the team was questioning why I had allowed the man in. Even if he was McGee's friend I wouldn't have done it. No, they knew something else was going on. They just weren't sure what yet.

Also knew that was why Tony kept questioning Darren. He thought the man knew what was going on. And though he was truly the one person that needed to know the most he knew nothing.

Though I had a feeling that even if he did know something he wasn't going to tell anyone. He hated to answer any questions about himself and even refused to talk about things concerning McGee.

I didn't know what I was supposed to make of that. The only thing that ever came into my mind was that he was hiding something. And for some reason I doubted that it was him dating McGee.

I would have asked my agent what was going on, but I knew that he was just as clueless as I was. Maybe his sister would know, but I doubted she knew that Darren was my son.

All of this was just becoming a mess that I hadn't even thought about before. I had been so focused on meeting my son that I didn't think of what this could mean for anyone else.

As much as I knew that focus was what helped me so much during cases I knew that it wasn't something that was good when dealing with family. But I hadn't done the family thing in awhile.

"Hey Abby," McGee smiled walking in before that smile faded, "Where's Darren?"

"Your friend's a jerk, McGee," Abby glared crossing her arms.

"What? What happened?"

"I was being nice and trying to get to know him since you won't bring him down to my lab. What is up with that anyway? Too busy to come and hang out with your  _best friend_? It's not nice, McGee. Not nice. Anyway, I asked him what he was working on and he said a headache before walking away. Seriously, where did you find that guy? He has no manners and is…"

"I'm sure that he really was just getting a headache. Abs, he's been sitting here for hours looking at our old cases. Then he goes home and does the same for awhile. He get's a little snarky when his head hurts. That's all."

Abby continued to pout angrily, but I couldn't help but focus on McGee. Everything from his stance to the way he spoke screamed protection. He wanted to protect Darren from Abby.

Okay, I had definitely missed something big going on between the three of them. And, if I was right, Abby had no idea what was going on while McGee and Darren weren't going to talk about it.

As soon as Abby got back in the elevator Darren came from wherever he was. Instantly he took his spot leaning against McGee's desk, but as I watch I saw McGee place a hand on the students neck. Like he was trying to ground him.

"Got a lead, Boss," Tony grinned walking in with Ziva.


	9. Chapter 9

"But Timothy…" Darren whined his lips pouting sadly.

Sighing once more I turned away from my boyfriend only to see that Sarah was giving me the same look. This is why I hated shopping with the two of them. It was impossible to say no.

When I had gotten home from work that night I wasn't surprised to see Sarah and Darren playing with Jett. Still, I could see the tension in Darren's body. He was still thinking about the crime scene.

Though I knew that it technically wasn't my fault I couldn't help but feel guilty. I always got this same feeling whenever Darren had told me something bad about his past. Which outweighed the good by a lot.

Even now I felt my stomach clench angrily as I remembered Darren describing the beatings he took whether it was from the foster family he ran away from or from the other guys living on the streets.

I remembered Darren crying when he told me how he just wanted to be warm. How a drug dealer convinced him the easiest way was sticking a needle in his arm. How he would steal from people for drug money or what he would do if he didn't have any.

I remembered him thrashing in his sleep because sometimes it felt like he was back to being that teenager again. Back to living on the streets. Back on drugs. Back to doing whatever he could to live, but not wanting to most days.

More often then not I wondered how he could possibly have survived and got clean. It wasn't until eight months into our relationship that he showed me why he gave it up.

"Please, Tim?" Sarah asked interrupting my thoughts.

"Okay," I sighed, "We'll go look at some paints for the house."

Twin grins instantly came to Darren and Sarah's faces as they each moved to give me a hug. Sarah was the first to pull away so I could keep Darren against me for awhile longer.

Because of this we were now looking at different paints for the house and Darren was in full organization mode. Which, though adorable, was not something I particularly liked to deal with.

Darren was going to go through every last color until he found what he thought was perfect. I was just happy that right now he wasn't going to try to figure out what furniture we should buy. For now.

Still watching as he went through ever last color I couldn't help but feel a headache coming on. Normally on a workday I would come home and just relax with Darren until it was time to go to bed.

We didn't really do much of anything when I was on a case because we both knew I needed to be focused and as well rested as I could be. But with what happened at the crime scene I had wanted to do everything to keep his mind off that.

"Timothy!" Darren exclaimed.

Blushing slightly when I realized I was caught not listening I turned my full attention to my boyfriend and saw him holding up four different paint samplers in his hands.

"Are you okay, Love?" Darren questioned worriedly.

"I'm fine," I smiled, "What are these for?"

"Bedroom. Which do you like better?"

Looking over the colors I saw that each of them was a reddish color, but I had to admit that out of all of them I only liked one. Taking that color in my hands I smiled at Darren as he grinned back before taking a few cans out of Sarah's hands.

"Sweet Rosewood," Darren grinned happily, "Bathroom."

This process continued, luckily quite quickly, until we had colors for every room of the house. Jester's Green for the living room, Pearl Violet in the bathrooms and hallway, Chilled Wine for the kitchen, and Heirloom Red for the office.

I could tell as we walked through the store that Darren wanted to continue to go through everything and figure out the design of our new house. Though as soon as he turned to me to voice this he turned away quickly.

Honestly it was a little hard to watch him do that after awhile. Darren was a guarded person, but he lost that after awhile of knowing him. Seeing him guarded around me once more hurt.

"Sarah," I said handing her my credit card, "Can you pay for these?"

Sarah looked between Darren and I in confusion before nodding her head. Once Darren and I were alone I turned to the man and smiled slightly. He looked just as confused as Sarah had.

"Are you okay, Timothy?" Darren asked softly.

"I'm fine," I answered linking our hands together, "Are you?"

Darren looked at the ground for a moment his hands unconsciously tightening around mine. Even if he didn't want to admit that something was wrong to me his body betrayed him.

"I'm trying not to think," Darren eventually answered, "I just…I want to forget what I saw, but I know I can't. And I know you and Sarah are trying to help by keeping my mind busy, but every time I look at you I know that you have to deal with this everyday."

Sighing I pulled Darren into a hug and carded a hand through his hair. I honestly had no idea what I was supposed to say. I hadn't even thought of him feeling guilty for his reaction.

"Darren," I muttered kissing him softly, "Don't feel guilty. Everything will be fine."

"I don't know what to do," Darren whispered back, "I don't know how to unsee that man."

"Talk to me. I do know what is going on in your head right now. I've felt what you're feeling. I just know how to deal with it now. Everything will be fine. I promise."

Darren pulled back slowly before pressing his lips to mine. Smiling slightly I broke the kiss and let him curl into my side. I could already tell that it wasn't going to be a good night, but whatever happened we'd deal with it.

I loved that Darren was the kind of person to throw everything he was behind whatever he was doing, but sometimes it didn't work out all that well for him when he was feeling so much.

"I love you, Timothy," Darren smiled.

"I love you too, Darren," I said kissing his forehead, "Come on, let's go before Sarah takes all my money."


	10. Chapter 10

"Agent Gibbs," Darren voiced in surprise as he opened the door to McGee's apartment, "What are you doing here?"

The case ended up being a pretty simple one. We worked for nine days on it before we were finally able to find the killer. And with the end of the case came me talking to Darren.

As I thought back to this week I remembered how Darren had acted. For the most part he observed from the sidelines unless he had something important to say. Something that would help us.

Other than that the student kept his head in the files McGee had gotten him. Periodically he'd ask McGee or Ziva a question, depending on who was around, but he didn't seem to want to talk to Tony or myself.

I didn't know what I was supposed to think of that. Had someone hurt him in the past? No, he seemed to get along fine with Palmer. There was just something about Tony and I that he didn't like.

Truthfully over the past couple of weeks Darren seemed to get along well with everyone. Except Tony, Abby, and myself. Well, he didn't get along well with Abby, he just hadn't really talked to Tony and I.

Why he didn't like Abby I didn't know, but by the pout McGee sent him whenever she was around, and how their first meeting went, he knew exactly what was going on. He also seemed to hope Darren wouldn't do anything.

Looking over my son I saw that he was wearing a black T-shirt and black workout pants. That went along with the leash that was in his hands and the dog slowly making his way forward.

A soft growl started deep in the dogs throat with every step he took. If it wasn't for Darren kneeling down and smiling at him I knew the dog would start barking any second.

"Jett," Darren stated softly, "This is Timothy's boss, Leroy Jethro Gibbs. You were actually named after him. Agent Gibbs, this is Jett."

Nodding to Jett I watched as he sat down next to Darren. He had stopped growling now, but I could still see that he was sitting at attention. He was ready to protect if he needed to.

It was weird to see the dog, Jett, in McGee's home. Why the agent had brought him into his home was beyond me, but McGee did have a big heart. It was good to see he wasn't afraid.

Darren stood up slowly his mouth open to say something when McGee walked into the room. He still had the cloths he wore to work on, but for some reason his hair was wet.

"Boss," McGee said slowly, "Thanks for coming."

"Coming?" Darren asked confused, "You invited him?"

"Yes. Darren, do you remember…I mean…Remember when I asked you to trust me?"

"Of course I do."

"Darren, I…Gibbs is…Well, biologically he is… You see…"

I could see that McGee was having a hard time finding the right words to say. I knew that it would be best for me to say something, but I was just as lost as McGee was. This was my responsibility.

Still, it was not something that I truly wanted to do. Especially with how I saw this conversation going. I hoped I was wrong since I didn't know Darren all that well. I didn't want either of them to be hurt.

I had only known Darren for a few weeks, but I had seen enough. Darren loved McGee as much as McGee loved him. I hoped there was a way that they could both be alright together.

"There was a DNA test," I jumped in when McGee opened his mouth again, "According to it. You're my son."

Darren seemed to freeze when I said that. His eyes were locked on me before looking at his boyfriend and for a moment I thought he was going to start swinging. Until he looked back at me and put on the fakest smile I have ever seen.

That was something I could do without seeing. Though there was something about the smile. Or there was something about knowing that I was the one putting that smile on his face.

This the first time that my son knew who I was and I ended up hurting him. That wasn't exactly how I had wanted this relationship to begin. Lying probably wasn't the best thing either.

"Well, I'll have to properly be introduced to you then, Agent Gibbs," Darren muttered while moving around me towards the door, "But that will have to wait until I give Jett a walk. Please, make yourself comfortable. Tim…Well, this is his home. Come on, Jett."

Before anything else could be said Darren and Jett were out of the apartment the door closed tightly behind them. I stared at the door for awhile longer before turning to McGee and saw him sadly looking at the floor.

"He's really mad," McGee sighed without looking up.

"Oh?" I said cocking an eyebrow.

"He called me Tim. He never calls me Tim unless he's mad at me. And considering the last time he called me Tim he didn't talk to me for a week…I'm sorry, Gibbs. Can we do this some other time?"

Even as he said that McGee was putting on his shoes. It seemed that no matter what I said he was going to go after Darren. That did help me feel better about their relationship.

I never thought that McGee would be in a relationship where he didn't see a future in. It's the reason he and Abby didn't work out. Obviously he saw one with Darren and he didn't want to lose him.

Just how much of a relationship though? I knew that they lived together and were going to start moving into a house they bought together soon. But that didn't really answer the question.

How far into the future had the two of them truly thought? What was I thinking? It was too early for me to be worrying about what their future held. I needed to know who they were before that. If I got the chance.

Calmly I followed McGee out of his apartment and into the elevator. By the time the elevator doors closed he was tapping his foot impatiently. So when the doors opened I wasn't surprised he ran off.


	11. Chapter 11

"Morning Tony," McGee sighed climbing into the elevator.

I opened my mouth to greet him in my normal fashion when I got a good look at him. His eyes had dark bags under them, his hair was disheveled, and his clothes were rumpled and he looked extremely tense.

It was obvious that McGee hadn't slept last night and at that thought I felt a ball of worry start to form in my gut. What had happened to my little brother to make him look like this?

Before I could ask though the doors opened and he walked out. I followed him calmly trying to think of a way to ask him when he stopped walking. I watched the tension leave his body and followed his eye line.

Darren was sitting in the desk Gibbs had cleared for him working on some files. I didn't know the student all that well, but he looked just as bad as McGee did. What had happened to them yesterday?

"Darren," McGee muttered slowly making his way towards the desk.

I watched as McGee and Darren quietly started to talk, but I couldn't hear a word either of them said. The only thing I knew was that it looked like McGee was trying to apologize while Darren was just plain pissed off about something.

His different colored eyes honestly looked like they were trying to set McGee on fire. That would be something to see. Damn, what did the man do to piss off the student that badly?

"Now's not the time, Tim," Darren suddenly said standing up, "Agent DiNozzo, do you have time for the interview now?"

With a slight nod of my head I started to make my way up to the conference room when Gibbs walked in. Now, Darren wasn't a big talker to Gibbs, or myself actually, but for him to almost run into the man was unheard of.

Darren didn't wait for me as he made his way upstairs, but I knew that I should probably get there quickly. If only to not have that attitude thrown at me as well. Still, I wasn't far enough away to not hear the beginning of McGee and Gibbs's conversation.

"How's Darren taking this?" Gibbs asked calmly.

"I don't know," McGee shook his head, "I know Darren went to Sarah's. I know Sarah brought Jett home this morning. I know Sarah is just as upset with me as Darren is. And I know just how creative my sister can be. Darren's refusing to talk though."

I had walked too far up the stairs to catch the rest of their conversation, but, though Gibbs hid it better, both of them seemed troubled by whatever was eating at Darren.

What had happened between the three of them? I mean, it was obvious, at least to me, that there was something that Darren and McGee were hiding. I wasn't sure what, but I knew there was something.

But how had Gibbs gotten involved in it? The only thing I could think of was that McGee finally went to Gibbs for advise. Though, if Darren's reaction was anything to go off, it didn't seem like he went soon enough.

When I got up to the conference room Darren had a cup of tea, he apparently hated the taste of coffee, in his hands and a new notebook and pen in front of him. It was the sheer sadness that seemed to radiate off him that got me though.

"Agent DiNozzo," Darren said his normal mask in place, "Are you ready to start the interview or do you want to get something to drink first?"

"Actually I was thinking," I smirked, "You're going to ask questions to get to know me basically. Why don't you return the favor? Remember, if I have to answer honestly so do you."

Darren stared at me for a moment his teeth worrying one of his lip piercing. He was actually trying to figure out how much he wanted the interview. I just hoped he fell for it.

"Deal," Darren sighed, "Tell me, Agent DiNozzo, you've been working in law enforcement for over fifteen years, if you could do anything else what would it be?"

"I don't know," I answered calmly, "I love what I do. I love being a cop. Helping people, catching bad guys. I can't actually see myself doing anything else. My turn. Why did you pick psychology to major in?"

"You're job is to stop the criminals from harming anyone else, but what happens to the victims and their families? Who takes care of them? Honestly, I just want to stop people from doing something drastic because of something that happened to them. Whether that's harming another, harming themselves, doing drugs, or anything of the like. I just want to help them. How would you describe the team dynamic you have at NCIS as opposed to your other places of work?"

"NCIS is my family. I'm not saying that I didn't have that at my other jobs, but it shows much more with NCIS. Probably because the team is more than just myself and another person. I see myself as sort of a big brother to McGee, Ziva, Abby, and even Palmer. Ducky is the grandfather of the group and Gibbs is the father. The team is the most stable relationship I've ever had."

Something about my answer seemed to make Darren freeze. That sadness was back on his face and it was harder for him to shake it off this time. Okay, it was time to get some real answers.

"What about your family?" I continued.

"I don't know," Darren answered shaking his head, "My parents gave me up after I was born. The first foster family I had died in a car crash and everything went down hill from there. I thought I had found a family again. Thought I could find a home there, but you don't…You don't lie to family."

Confusion joined the emotions playing on Darren's face. it was like he was truly trying to figure out how a family acted. And, by what he said, maybe that's exactly what he was doing.

"Yes, you do," I spoke softly, "I know it sucks, but if you're trying to protect your family. You do lie. I have. Gibbs has, Ducky, Ziva, Abby, Palmer, McGee. We've all lied to protect each other from the truth. Not because we wanted to hurt the person, but because we were scared of what the truth would do. You should forgive McGee."

"Who said Tim did anything?" Darren asked confused.

"The way you talked to him this morning. How he talked to Gibbs when you came up here. Darren, you know Tim. You know if he did anything it you to protect you. Don't ever forget that. Give him a chance."

Darren looked up from his notebook and stared at me for a moment. His eyes were blinking quickly, but I could see the tears forming in them. With a small nod of his head he looked back down and continued with the questions.


	12. Chapter 12

"Nice boat, Agent Gibbs," Darren said walking down the stairs into the basement.

I placed the sandpaper down without answering and turned to the younger man. He had on a simple pair of black trousers, a black button-up shirt, and black boots. Seemed he had a thing for wearing black.

That hadn't been what he was wearing at the office. It was good to see that he went home to change, but by the sadness that was still in his eyes it looked like he hadn't talked to McGee.

I had watched Darren avoid McGee all day, which I wasn't all that surprised about. What I did find surprising was the few times Tony caught Darren's eyes they seemed to share a look.

Every look that they shared made me more and more curious about what was said during the interview. Whatever it was though I hoped that it was enough to push Darren to talk.

When he hit the last step Darren sat down and stared at me, but didn't look in my eyes. It looked like he had no idea what he was supposed to do now that he was here. Honestly, I didn't know what to do either.

"Forgive McGee?" I asked leaning against the boat.

"No…Yes…I haven't actually talked to him," Darren sighed, "I'm trying to figure this all out so I don't make a mistake and end up making everything worse. Figured I needed to talk to you first."

Nodding my head I made my way over to the bourbon and poured two drinks. I turned to Darren and offered him a glass. He looked over me for a moment and I thought he was going to leave, but slowly he stood up and took the drink from me.

Darren sipped the drink calmly before looking back over at the boat. I continued to wait for the man to say something, but after a few minutes he continued to stand there in silence.

"Darren," I said stepping towards him.

"Please explain to me why lying to me about this was so much better for me then just telling the truth. Why you and Tim thought that this was the only way to do things."

"McGee thought it was best you heard it from me. I wasn't ready to face it."

"Why not?"

I could hear the anger and confusion in Darren's voice as he tried to understand what I was saying. I didn't want explain everything that I had been thinking, but I knew there was no other way.

"Shannon and Kelly," I answered, "My wife, first wife, and daughter. They were killed a long time ago."

"So, you thought that…" Darren started before shaking his head, "No, I don't understand. Wouldn't you want to know that you have another child? Wouldn't you want to get to know me?"

"I did want that. I also know how easily it is to lose that."

"I know how easily it is too."

"Didn't find a good foster family?"

"Not after the Hotchner's. I held onto the anger of their deaths for a long time. Took it out on everyone so I never lasted long in the good houses and the bad houses…Well, I, luckily, only found one, but it was a really bad one. Why not just tell me about your family?"

"Don't talk about them."

"I don't talk about my past either. But I would have been willing if you had just told me the truth!"

Looking at the young man I realized just how much he had been hurt by what McGee and I did. I had been doing everything to try to find a way to do this without hurting him, but that was exactly what I did.

There was only one thing that came to mind that hopefully would help fix this. Still I wasn't very happy about the idea. If it meant Darren forgiving McGee and myself then I would do it.

I kept talk about myself to a minimum. Only doing it if there was no way around it or if I wasn't thinking clearly because of something else. Now I was going to have to tell Darren. There was no way I could keep these things from him.

Because as much as I thought of Shannon and Kelly as mine and only mine, Darren was part of my family as well. Part of our family. He deserved to know about them.

"Shannon was stubborn," I said as calmly as I could, "She had to be to deal with me, but she was also very gentle. We shared a train ride and we just talked. That was one of the best moments of my life."

For the first time since Darren walked down here he looked straight at me. I was surprised to see that there were tears in his eyes, but since I really didn't know him I knew that surprise was going to happen a lot.

"Timothy and I did something similar," Darren smiled ever so slightly, "I needed a ride up to New York and Sarah couldn't take me. She somehow convinced her brother to and we just talked the entire time. I don't actually think there was a moment of silence."

The smile on Darren's face grew when he started talking about McGee. I could see the love in his eyes as well as hear it in his voice. Any doubt about their relationship was gone when he spoke.

I knew from what he had said and what was in his file that his past wasn't a happy one, but to hear him talk about McGee. It was like none of that mattered. It was a good thing to see.

And right now their relationship was up in the air and in the end it was my fault. If I had just told Darren who I was when I first met him then none of this would have happened.

"Are you going to talk to McGee?" I asked taking a sip of bourbon.

"I don't know," Darren shrugged, "The day he told me that I would be able to shadow your team he told me that there was something else. Something he couldn't tell me. He made me promise that I wouldn't hate me. I could never hate him, but right now…Right now I don't know what to do."

I couldn't help but sigh at that. I wanted to tell him exactly what to do. I wanted to already have all the answers, but I knew the only person that could fix this was McGee and Darren didn't seem to want to talk to him.

Everything that Darren was doing showed just how deeply he felt things. Maybe it was for the best for him to figure out what he was feeling so things didn't get out of control when McGee and Darren talked.

"So…Do you have any other living family?" Darren questioned looking at his drink.

"Dad in Stillwater," I answered calmly, "I'll have to call him and he'll drive down as soon as he knows."

"Can you hold off on telling him? I mean, I think I need to get used to the idea of having a Dad before getting to know a Grandpa."

Nodding my head slightly in understanding I turned back to the boat. After taking the sandpaper in my hand I started to work on my boat quietly. Darren was going to be in charge of the conversation as much as I wished I was.

Once again silence filled the basement as Darren took a seat next to me. He was silent for a few moments before he started to softly hum a tune. It seemed he didn't have an idea of what to say either.

"Good song?" I commented softly.

"Timothy plays it a lot," Darren sighed, "I don't actually know what it's called or anything about it but the tune and that it's smooth jazz. He's always playing Jazz. Especially when he writes."

"Why do you call him 'Timothy'? Why not shorten his name?"

"I don't know. I just like saying his full name more than a nickname. Anyone can call him 'Tim' or 'Timmy' or something like that, but, from what I hear, the only other person that calls him 'Timothy' is your Dr. Mallard. I'm going to continue to just call you Gibbs. Okay?"

"That's fine. Most do."

Sighing Darren looked up at the ceiling a look of contemplation coming to his face. It looked like he had let his mind wonder. Hopefully it had wondered to McGee and how their conversation was going to go.

"I love him," Darren whispered, "I love Timothy with all of my heart, I just don't know what I'm supposed to do with this now. I don't know how I'm supposed to just forget this."

"Don't," I responded calmly, "Don't forget what he…What we did. Talk to McGee. Figure this out."

Darren nodded his head quickly before downing the last of his drink and standing up. I watched him stare at me for a moment and I wondered what he was going to do only to have his arms wrap around me.

"Thanks, Gibbs," Darren muttered softly.

Before I could say anything Darren let go of me and made his way upstairs and out of my house. It wasn't until I heard an engine start that my thoughts once again came to me.

When I found out I had a son I was worried that I had forgotten how to act like a father. How to comfort my child. Then there was just how big of an age difference there was between Kelly and Darren.

That didn't seem like that big of a deal when I was talking to the man. I hadn't known what to say, but that didn't seem to matter all that much. Darren knew what to do, he just needed someone to listen.

"You're welcome, son," I whispered to myself.


	13. Chapter 13

"Come on, McGee," Abby pouted, "We'll go out drinking and dancing. We haven't done that in so long. It'll be fun."

I let out what felt like the hundredth sigh in the past five minutes. It was about ten minutes before quitting time on a Friday and almost a full three days since Darren last talked to me.

Even now Darren was sitting at his desk his fingers moving quickly over his keyboard as he typed up all of his notes as he bobbed his head to a beat only he could hear. It was his end of the day ritual.

I had actually been done with my paperwork for almost an hour now, but I was waiting…Hoping that Darren would come and talk to me. Even if it was to say he never wanted to talk to me again. I just needed to hear his voice.

For the past three days the only reason I've actually seen Darren was because of the paper he was working on. He had been staying at Sarah's dorm and both of them were refusing to talk to me right now.

I wasn't giving up hope though. At least, not completely. That was why that first night when I finally left work I went to the store and picked up the paint that Darren had picked out before going to the house and starting to paint.

Last night though I had finished painting. Surprising how quickly I could get things done when the man I loved wasn't talking to me and when I found myself not able to sleep very long.

"Please, Timmy," Abby smiled placing her hand on my arm and squeezing, "It'll be fun. Just like old times."

"Abby," I sighed.

"He can't," a voice cut me off.

Turning towards Darren's desk I saw that he was placing his laptop into his bag with his notebooks and file. His movements were slow, but soon he was standing in front of my desk glaring at Abby.

And this would be why I did everything to keep Abby and Darren from being around each other. Saying Darren didn't like the forensic scientist was one of the biggest understatements ever.

I couldn't blame him. Don't get me wrong. I love Abby, but sometimes she was just too much. Though it was how little she seemed to actually care about me that got me the most.

"Oh," Abby said cocking herself to the size, "And why is that?"

"Because he and Jett are coming over to my place and we're going to decorate it," Darren responded calmly.

I felt my heart skip and my eyes widen when Darren said that. He wanted to talk to me? It was possible that this was just him wanting to say goodbye for good, but I couldn't think like that.

No, I had to do everything in my powers to keep this man with me. I couldn't lose the person I loved more than anything. I just needed to explain why I did what I did. He'd understand.

"Jett?" Abby glared, "Who's Jett?"

"His dog," Darren shrugged, "Timothy, are you…"

"You mean Jethro?"

"No, I mean Jett."

"His name is Jethro."

"Whatever. Should we stop for…"

"No, not 'whatever'! His name is Jethro. Not Jett!"

I could see the anger starting to appear in Darren's eyes as Abby continued to talk. I had never bothered to tell Abby that, though she called him 'Jethro', I always introduced him as 'Jett'.

Honestly, I didn't want to get into a fight with the Goth. Well, actually at that time I really just didn't want to deal with Abby at all. I was too hurt by how she had reacted to everything.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," Darren said sarcastically, "I wasn't aware he was your dog. Considering Timothy gives him a home, food, toys, walks twice a day. You're right it's all about you."

"Darren," I sighed standing up.

I didn't want to deal with the two of them getting into it right now. I was too close to the edge. Wondering if this was the last night that I'd be able to call Darren my boyfriend. It was just too much at once.

Turning to look at my boyfriend I saw such anger and fierceness in his eyes I almost took a step back. I knew that he didn't like Abby, but I had never thought about what he would look like if they ever talked.

Just by that look I knew that I had a real chance to get him back. Darren loved me. Loved me more than I had thought he did. He wasn't going to give our relationship up and neither was I.

"McGee shot him," Abby ignored me.

"After he had bitten his arm and neck!" Darren practically growled, "No offence, but if it was a pick between  _a dog_ I didn't know and someone I  _claimed_  to be  _my best_ friend guess who I would pick?"

"Jethro was innocent!"

"And what was Timothy? A monster? He was a monster when he saved his life. A monster when he drove the dog to NCIS. A monster when you took his jacket from him to use on a dog though he was already stable. A monster when you  _forced_  the dog that  _tried to kill him_ to live with him. Where? Where in all of this does Timothy sound like a monster you spoiled ignorant brat?"

Before I could react Abby's hand shot up and smacked Darren hard enough to split his lip. Everything seemed to freeze when that happened. For the first time I looked around the bullpen and was glad to find that it was empty besides the team.

Tony and Ziva were staring at Darren and Abby like they weren't sure what they were supposed to do. I knew that neither of them really knew why I took Jett in, but it seemed they understood now.

But it wasn't just that. I could see something in Tony's eyes as they flickered over to me. He knew. He knew exactly what Darren and I were to each other. This plus whatever Darren and he talked about made it clear to him.

Ziva, on the other hand, hadn't looked away from Abby. Her eyes were blazing in anger as everything that happened those days long ago came to light. It was actually a good thing that there was a desk between the two of them.

Then there was Gibbs. Gibbs was sitting there calmly watching as everything played out. At least that's what it looked like if you didn't know Gibbs. The older man was seething.

I just wasn't sure what he was upset about the most. Darren, Abby, the information he just got, or them fighting in the middle of the bullpen. Because of this my stomach dropped as he stood up.

"Go home," Gibbs said his voice deadly calm.

Abby opened her mouth already ready to start fighting again as Darren's hand found mine. Quickly turning my computer off and grabbing my bag I let Darren take me to the elevators with Tony and Ziva in toll.

We had been in the elevator for a few seconds before Tony reached over and turned it off. Once again my stomach fell. He wanted to ask questions that I really just wasn't ready for.

That didn't come though. Instead Ziva rested a hand on my shoulder before pulling me into a hug as Tony gave me a nod of approval. They were trying to comfort me.

"She had no right to do that," Ziva muttered angrily shaking her head, "Why did you not tell us, McGee?"

"I knew everyone would get mad," I shrugged, "Abby's an important part of our team, our family. I didn't want to lose that because of some things she's done."

Ziva nodded her head slightly before pulling away and looking at Darren. The student was wiping the blood away from his lip with a tissue that Tony had given him, but still he was looking around at everyone.

Tony and Ziva seemed to know that there was nothing for them to say to him so both simply gave him a nod before turning the elevator back on. The rest of the trip was quiet.

"Is Sarah coming to get you?" I asked as we walked towards my car.

"No," Darren answered shaking his head, "I've been taking the bus the past few days."

Silence once again came between us, but this one was just awkward. Neither of us really knew what to say. Because of that each of us were waiting for the other to say something.

"Did you mean what you said?" I questioned when we got to my car, "About decorating the house?"

"Of course," Darren quickly answered, "We have to paint our home. I mean…If it's still…ours?"

Stepping forwards and pulled Darren into a hug. He was just as scared that we were over as I was. He just wanted to know that we were actually still a 'we'. I was just happy we were on the same page.

"Of course it's still ours, Darren," I whispered in his ear, "But we don't need to paint."

"We don't?" Darren questioned curiously.

"I kind of painted the house while we were fighting. I guess I thought that if you had a reason come back to you would."

"I always had a reason to come back, Timothy. Always."


	14. Chapter 14

"Gibbs," Abby whined pointing at the elevator, "Did you see…"

"Enough," I growled leaving no room for argument, "Get your things and meet me at my place in an hour."

Without waiting for a response I moved around the scientist and got in the elevator. My thoughts were buzzing around angrily in my head as I tried to figure out what just happened.

Darren obviously held a lot of anger towards Abby. I had figured that out when McGee refused to let them around one another. What I didn't know was why he was doing that. Though now I did have some idea.

As much as Abby and the team thought that I knew everything I don't. A few examples are…I have no idea what happened between Abby and McGee during the case wit that dog. And I have no idea why McGee took the dog in.

For awhile I wanted to look into it, but I thought I knew McGee. I thought that he was just the type of person to see someone, be it human or animal, in need of help and offer. No holding grudges.

Watching Darren lean into Abby showed me just how wrong I had been. Of course, that got my mind wondering. What else had I overlooked because Abby was involved?

I knew that I basically had blinders on when it came to Abby. I couldn't help that, though I did try. Sometimes I let my emotions get ahead of me when it came to her and someone got hurt.

By the time I got to my home I saw that Abby's Hurst was already waiting for me. Good. I had hoped that making her wait would get her to calm down enough to have a rational conversation. As rational as Abby could be.

"Gibbs!" Abby yelled as soon as I shut the door, "What are you going to do about him?"

"About who?" I asked cocking an eyebrow.

"About that  _Darren_ person. I mean, did you hear the way he talked to me? And then just monopolizing McGee's time like that. And where does he get off renaming Jethro? It's not his dog! I'm the one that saved him!"

Sighing I ran a hand through my hair and made my way into the kitchen. Part of me was saying that I should have known Abby was going to continue to act like this, but I had hoped.

"Abby," I sighed, "Abigail!"

"You n-never call me that," Abby whispered her eyes wide.

"Tell me what happened after I sent McGee to you with that dog."

"Gibbs, I…"

"Tell me."

This was the first time that Abby had been on the wrong side of this tone. And as I spoke I remembered all the times that I should have talked to her about her behavior and I didn't.

I had expecting my team to come to me if there was any problem. Now I saw that I was causing one of the biggest ones for McGee and he didn't think that he could come to me. Not that I could blame him.

"He shot Jethro!" Abby said crossing her arms.

"No," I spoke shaking my head, "McGee shot a dog that was trying to kill him."

"But…"

"Kill him."

"He could have…"

"Kill him! Are you not getting this, Abby? That day we could have lost McGee because of a damn dog. Now tell me what you did after I sent him back to NCIS!"

As Abby went over what happened that day, in her own words of course, I saw what Darren was talking about. Abby had treated a dog better than the person she claimed to be her best friend.

How did I let this get so far away from me? And that was it. I knew that this was my fault. I had given Abby too much leeway and it had ended up hurting someone I cared about.

Still it was difficult. Abby was…Abby. It was almost impossible for me to look at her and not see everything that I had lost. I knew she became a stand in for my daughter and I think she knew it as well.

"And that's when I told him it was his responsibility to take care of Jethro," Abby finished with a shrug.

"So, let me get this straight," I said as calmly as I could, "You picked a dog you just met over your  _best friend_ of how many years?You treated a dog better than your best friend. You took his jacket. You called him names. And then when someone finally decides to stand up for  _your best friend_  you slap them? Did I cover everything?"

"He didn't have the right…"

"He should have had to do it either way! Abby, that dog tried to kill McGee. His neck and his arm were bleeding. You know what a dog does when it's teeth are around someone's neck? That's the sign for them to kill! And what did McGee do? He shot the dog. Non-Lethally!"

"But Gibbs…"

"What would you have done? If that dog was barreling down at you. Blood dripping from your arm. Teeth at your neck. What would you have done?"

Abby glared at me for a moment before looking at the ground. I knew that she didn't quite get what I was trying to say, but that wasn't on me. She needed to do that for herself.

It did lead to another question though. How many other times has Abby done something like this to McGee? Because there's no chance in my mind that Abby has only done this once.

I wasn't going to get anything out of Abby though. She didn't see what she had done was wrong. That was going to change. I couldn't promise that I'd always catch her, but I was going to try.

"Go, Abby," I finally said, "Don't bother McGee or Darren because the only person that's done anything wrong here is you. And you better hope that Darren doesn't report you to Vance. Because if he does…I'm not going to stop him."

I made my way down to the basement ignoring whatever words Abby responded with. Right now I didn't want to deal with listening to her talk on and on about how she was right.

"McGee," I acknowledged in shock, "Darren."

"Hey Boss," McGee waved slightly, "Hope we're not interrupting anything.

"You're not. What are you doing here? I thought you were decorating your house."

Before McGee could say anything Darren was out of his spot on the floor, a laptop in his hands, showing me different pieces of artwork from some website. He looked so excited in that moment. Almost childlike.

It was good to see that the two of them had made up. At least for the most part. If things were truly alright between them I doubted that they were been in my basement waiting for me.

"You really told off Abby?" McGee interrupted before blushing slightly and looking away.

Instantly I watched Darren change. That childishness was replaced with a mixed look of anger and sadness. He placed the laptop down and went to stand next to his boyfriend.

From here I could tell that Darren was a little ashamed by how he reacted. McGee had obviously known that there was going to be a bad reaction between the two of them and for it to happen had hurt him.

I don't truly know what kind of relationship McGee and Abby have anymore. Actually I was learning that I knew basically nothing about my agent. Something I found myself looking forward to.

"I did," I answered with a nod of my head, "Though I have a feeling I'm not getting the whole story. It wasn't just the dog, was it?"

McGee's shoulders fell slightly causing Darren to wrap an arm around them. I had to admit it was a little strange to see the two of them like this, but I found myself not minding it as much as I thought I would.

The two of them were good together. They knew each others cues and seemed to know what needed to be done to help. I honestly couldn't see their relationship turning badly.

"No," McGee almost whispered, "It wasn't just the dog."

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked curiously.

"She's your favorite. Nothing she ever does is going to make you mad or make you punish her. I figured it was easier to just take the punishments you gave to me and brush everything else under the table. I mean, the team works really well together and Abby is good at her job. I just thought…"

"That I wouldn't listen. McGee, talk to me next time. Make me listen. Because what you're doing now obviously isn't working. She's a big girl. She'll deal with her punishments on her own."

McGee looked up at me and stared into my eyes like he was trying to figure out if I was lying. It wasn't exactly what I had hoped he would do, but if he needed reassurance on my words than he could have it.

"What are you two doing here anyway?" I questioned after a moment, "Shouldn't you be at your home?"

"Nothing really," Darren shrugged obviously lying, "Just got bored and decided to come here. That had the house still smelled like paint and my head was starting to hurt. Think the smell is gone?"


	15. Chapter 15

"McGee! You're gay," Tony stated walking into my apartment without knocking.

Looking up at the senior agent I let a sigh out before continuing to pack some books in a box. I found myself counting my blessings that Darren had taken Jett out for his morning walk.

Whenever Tony had a thought or a hunch like this his mind almost completely forgot everything around him. He probably didn't even remember about my dog though he just heard an argument about him yesterday.

I couldn't help the smile that came to my lips when I thought about that. While I hated that Darren and Abby got into a fight I knew that Darren and my fight would have been longer if they hadn't.

"Please come in," I said rolling my eyes, "And I'm not gay."

"You're dating Darren," Tony responded glaring down at me.

"I am."

"But you're not gay."

"Nope."

"You're, what, bi-sexual?"

"Yes, Tony, I'm bi-sexual."

"Those actually exist?"

"We're not unicorns, Tony. Yes, we actually exist outside of overdone porno's."

I felt a little bad for snapping at Tony like that, but that was one of the reasons I never really talked about my sexuality to people. They never actually understand that it was possible to be attracted to both sexes instead of just one.

Still, I didn't need to be taking my frustrations on Tony right now. If I was right Tony was going to be at least a little pissed at me for not telling him straight off the bat about this.

The truth was that I just didn't talk about it with anyone. It wasn't that I didn't want to, but I had enough experiences growing up that it made me a little weary about telling anyone.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Tony asked after a few moments.

"Tony," I sighed standing up slowly, "One of the first things you did when I joined the team was tell everyone I was gay. I figured it would be better to not tell you at all. I've had enough bashing over the years that I didn't want it to be part of my workplace. At least, not part of the team."

"You were bashed because of that?"

"Of course I was. This was before 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell'. And NCIS is not only a military environment, but a cop one as well. Those two and homosexuality don't really mix all that well even with the progress we've made."

Tony looked at the ground when I said that. I hadn't meant to make him feel bad about that prank. Because I knew that was what it was. He didn't mean for me to get harmed in anyway.

That was the problem sometimes. Tony didn't always think things through. He saw what he wanted, did everything he could to get what he wanted, and then went on his marry way leaving the mess for someone else.

I loved Tony like a brother. I always have. But in this whole thing I was the little brother and…Well, who actually ever listens to what their little brother has to say about anything?

"It was just a joke," Tony muttered softly.

"I know," I answered with a shrug, "That's why I was never mad about it."

"It made you lose trust in me, man. It made you hide who you are."

"Tony, I trust you with my life. I always have and I always will. As for hiding who I am. At work, I do, but that's work. I would have done it either way because I want to keep my personal life away from my professional life."

"You didn't trust me enough to tell me you had a little sister. You didn't trust me enough to tell me you wrote best-selling books. And you didn't trust me enough to tell me you were bi-sexual and in, what looks like, a serious relationship with a guy!"

Turning away from the older man I ran a hand through my hair. I didn't want this fight to happen. Truthfully, I hated fighting. It just wasn't part of who I was. But Tony wasn't going to back down.

I didn't know what I was supposed to say though. Tony was my partner, my teammate, my best friend, but I hadn't trusted him with these things. And, yes, I did know why I didn't trust him with them.

How was I supposed to explain my reasons to him though? Tony and I were so different in the way we think. Hell, in the way we do everything. I just didn't know how to make him understand.

"McGee," Tony started before sighing, "Tim, why didn't you trust me?"

"You take things too far, Tony," I shrugged, "Everything's a joke to you. If I had told you about Sarah the first thing you would have done was hit on her. I love you like a brother, Tony. But you're a player. I was afraid you'd have a one-night-stand with her and leave her broken hearted.

I didn't tell you about the books because…Well, you saw how you reacted when you finally did find out about them. Did you even read them all or did you just skip to the parts that you thought were based off of you? If you had read it you would have seen that they weren't. Tommy isn't you.

I've seen the way people react to hearing about my sexuality. I've heard them laughing, felt them hitting me, had people walk away after years of friendship. Then you do that joke without me even telling you. How was I supposed to know how you'd react if I told you the truth?

Tony, these things. They're important to me. They're who I am. You already make fun of me for everything else. I just wanted to have a few things that I knew were…Safe from that. It wasn't that I don't trust you. I just can't have another person make fun of me for this."

Silence once again filled the small apartment. I couldn't say where all of that actually came from, but I knew that I meant every word. Now that I saw Tony's face though I wondered if I should have reigned it in a bit.

I hated how lost and saddened he looked. Then I had to remember that I was the one causing him to look like this. Why couldn't I have just come up with some stupid lie to tell him?

As I continued to berate myself for hurting Tony I felt myself get pulled into a tight hug. I felt myself start to pull away only to remember that that was Tony hugging me.

"Why didn't you say anything before, Tim?" Tony asked pulling away slightly.

"I didn't want to start a fight," I sighed.

"Letting it build up like that isn't helping either, is it? Look, I know I joke around a lot. And yeah, I would have flirted with your sister, but I wouldn't have taken her home. I have too much respect for you to do that. You're right I didn't really read the book just skimmed it. I should have given it a chance before getting upset.

As for you being bi. Tim, I was a beat cop for awhile. I've seen the kind of damage homophobes can cause. I took it a step too far with that joke and I'm sorry. But I wouldn't have thought or treated you any differently of you if you had just told me from the start.

You're my brother too, Tim. I don't have a lot of family and the ones that I do have I protect. You just have to tell me to back off sometimes. And if that doesn't work you make me listen to you. I don't care if you have to deck me to get me to hear you do what you have to. Okay, maybe no hitting the face, but you get the idea."

Chuckling slightly I pulled Tony back in for another hug before pulling away fully. Tony was a hard guy to read sometimes and it was nice to know where I stood with him.

I knew the jokes and the pranks weren't going to stop. Truthfully, I hate if they did, but it was nice to know that he saw where I was coming from now that everything was out in the open.

Smiling slightly I looked at Tony ready to ask if he wanted to order some pizza and watch a movie. Before I could say anything though he was sitting on the ground putting some books in a box.

"So," Tony said looking at one of Darren's books, "How long have you and Darren been together?"

"A year," I answered with a smile joining him on the ground.

"Moving in together?"

"Yeah, just bought a house. We're taking everything there tomorrow if you want to join us."

"Who's 'us'?"

"Darren, Sarah, and me."

"What about Gibbs? He does know about you and Darren, right?"

"He knows, but…That's Gibbs story to tell when he's ready."

"McGee…"

"Seriously, ask Gibbs."

Tony stared at me for a moment longer before nodding his head. I had to admit sitting here just packing some books away was actually the most peaceful I felt around Tony in awhile.

"Hey, Timothy, I was just…Agent DiNozzo," Darren started before staring at Tony.

"He knows about us," I shrugged.

"And you can call me Tony, you know," Tony cut in with a smile.

Darren looked between Tony and I before shrugging, unchaining Jett, and offering to make some food for us. I don't know why, but it felt like I found something I didn't know was missing. I had to admit. I liked it.


	16. Chapter 16

"Doctor Mallard," Darren smiled motioning to a sit, "Thank you for letting me interview you. Would you like a drink?"

This was the first time that I truly got to look at the man that came into Team Gibbs without a warning. Yes, I had met him before, but that was around Timothy and the rest of the team.

Now that I was able to get a good look at him I felt myself analyzing him. And yet I found myself unable to get a good read on him. Though with the profession he had chosen it wasn't all that much of a surprise.

"Some tea would me nice," I answered with a smile, "Thank you. And it is no problem. I do love doing this. If the intent behind the questions is true. You aren't going to use these to hurt the team in someway, are you, Mr. Hotchner?"

"Not intentionally," Darren smiled back, "Let's get started. Everyone knows…"

"Excuse me for interrupting, but I heard a rumor that you were willing to allow me to question you as you question me."

"If that will make you more comfortable I don't see why not. Would you like to go first, Doctor?"

As Darren talked I wondered if this was how he normally was. He seemed very accommodating. In a way it was almost like he wanted to take care of the person that he was with even if he had just met them.

That was something that I knew to be dangerous. A lot of the people the ended up on my slabs ended up there because they wanted to help. I'm not saying that it was a bad thing, but it was something to look out for.

Unless this was not how he normally was. In that case I had to wonder why he was acting this way and also if it was simply around me or if the entire team got treated the same way.

Well, not the entire team. There was no chance that I had not heard about what happened on Friday night between Miss Sciuto and him. She was very talkative when she was upset.

That did lead more about who he was though. Actually, it lead to the person he cared about. It was known that Darren was friends with our Timothy. He was actually introduced as Timothy's friend instead of simply a student shadowing the team.

Because of this I found myself watching them interact from afar. I saw the way that the two of them looked at each other when they thought that no one else was looking. Was it possible that their relationship was not just one of friendship?

"This is your interview, Mr. Hotchner," I said taking the tea from his hands, "You ask your question first."

"Alright," Darren nodded taking a seat, "Everyone know what the agents of Gibbs team does. Everybody has seen at least one procedural show in their life time. As the Medical Examiner what do you believe your job is? What do you bring to the investigation?"

"My colleagues, fellow Medical Examiners, and myself have often thought of ourselves as the last voice of the dead. While the agents are the ones that take everything, the evidence, the body, the interviews, and put them together for the world to see our job is to provide comfort for the deceased and their family to the best of our abilities.

Because of this we often find ourselves, often times, analyzing the dead. Not just with an autopsy, but learning their history and constructing a life. To me the bodies the come to my table are not nameless or faceless. They are people who need my help, but do not have the means to ask for it anymore. It is a wonderful job. One I would not trade for the world."

Darren gave me a happy smile as he quickly wrote down what I had said. It was nice to seem him doing his work. There was so much passion in his eyes as he did it that I knew he felt the same about his work though he truly hadn't started yet.

"Tell me, Mr. Hotchner," I spoke after a moment, "Why did you start that little fight with Miss Sciuto? By your attire I would think you'd get along quite well."

An almost grimace came to Darren's lips when I said that. The boy truly did not like the scientist. Something I knew was very difficult to do if you spent anytime with the girl.

No, Darren came onto the team with the knowledge that he was not going to like Abby and I wanted to know why. Mostly because Darren did not seem like the type of person to hold a grudge.

"Dr. Mallard," Darren sighed after a moment, "I've know Timothy for a year and a half now. I've heard a lot of stories about the team and about what that…What Abby's done to him. I don't know how much you know about their relationship, but, from everything I've heard, she's using Timothy and he doesn't deserve that. Last night I let my emotions get ahead of me, something I'm trying to stop myself from doing. I just can't stand to see someone as good and amazing as Timothy get hurt like that."

"You love you boyfriend very much," I innocently stated hoping to be right.

"Yes, I do love him…"

Darren's eyes widened almost comically when he realized what I had said. It was obviously something that they were trying to hide, but when he wasn't thinking about it how the man truly felt came into light.

I had always thought that Timothy would end up with someone like Darren and it was good to see that I was right. He did deserve the happiness that came with the relationship they had.

"You're secret is safe with me," I smiled, "Though I must ask, who else knows?"

"Tony and Gibbs," Darren shrugged, "Tony actually helped Timothy and I move in together this weekend."

"That's wonderful. And, of course you have more questions, but I find myself with only one more for you."

"Ask away, Doctor."

"Why do you always wear black?"

A light blush came to Darren's cheeks when I said that. I'm not sure if I would say that he was ashamed by what his answer would be, but he did seem to be a little shy about it either way.

"When I was younger and in school I learned that white is the absence of color while black is all colors," Darren said with a slight smile, "I, and I know this sounds silly, but I always told myself that I never wanted to discriminate against anything. When I learned that I decided that I was going to wear black or white from then on. It also helps that my favorite color is the rainbow. And that's ridiculous isn't is, Dr. Mallard?"

"Not at all. And please, my friends call me Ducky."


	17. Chapter 17

"Can we grab some pizza for dinner, Timothy?" Darren asked sliding into my car.

"Sure," I shrugged putting my bag in the back, "Call an order it, we should be home by the time it gets there."

A warm feeling filled me when I said that. Normally 'home' meant my apartment and though Darren had been living there with a few month it was still mine. Now, that changed.

We had a house. One that we picked together, decorated together. That made all the difference in my mind. And tonight would be the first night that we stayed there with no one else around.

This weekend was spent with Sarah, Darren, and myself packing and fixing the house up. At least that was until Tony decided that he was going to join us. Both of them ended up staying the night both Saturday and Sunday.

Now the whole house was furnished, minus some decorations that we had gotten over the internet. It was completely our house by now. Everything about it was ours and I couldn't be happier.

Though with it just being Darren and myself I knew that it was finally time to talk to him about what happened on Friday. Not that I didn't understand why Darren did what he did I just didn't want it to get in the way.

That was Darren though. After he heard about what happened with Jett, with Mikel Mauher, and what happened down in Mexico, Darren decided that he really didn't like her.

It didn't matter what I told him about him those three things were the things he focused on. After Friday I knew that I needed to talk to him about it before something worse happened.

"How's the lip?" I questioned sparing Darren a glance.

"It's fine now," Darren shrugged, "Not the first time I've been smacked. Though I can't believe she smacked me in the middle of your bullpen in front of everyone. Oh, wait, yes I can."

"Darren…"

"What? Can you blame me for not liking her? After everything she's done?"

"It's not all bad. You didn't even give her a chance."

"Should I? Honestly, Timothy, I can't understand why you're her friend after what she did with Jett. Then what she did with…"

"I know, Darren, but those are just three little things."

"Little things? Two of them almost got you killed! The other one almost got her killed and you got punished for it!"

"I've forgiven her for all of that."

"Timothy…How can you forgive her for something when she doesn't even get that she did something wrong?"

I opened my mouth to say something else when what Darren said hit me. Maybe he had a point. I never did talk to Abby about what happened. I pushed them away and ignored the hurt I felt.

Alright, so if I was going to finally get Darren to give Abby a chance I was going to have to talk to her myself. This was something I had hoped that I never would have to do.

"I'm sorry, Timothy," Darren sighed, "I can't forgive her."

"Abby means a lot to me," I replied softly.

"I know. I'll try to steer clear of her, but I can't forgive her."

Sighing I let Darren take my hand in his. I knew that Darren was just acting like this to her because he felt protective of me, but Abby was my friend. She wouldn't… Except she had done multiple things.

I did need to talk to Abby. Darren was right about that. I just wasn't sure what I was supposed to say. Feeling my boyfriend squeeze my hand slightly I realized that could wait until tomorrow.

Tonight was all about Darren and I spending our first night in our new home. I wasn't going to let anyone or anything ruin tonight. Not when I knew it was just a matter of time before a case came up.

"Pizza's here," Darren said with a slight smile as I pulled into the garage.

I could hear a bit of nervousness in Darren's voice when he said. That was the last thing I wanted him to feel. Without thinking I threaded a hand through the mans hair and pulled him into a kiss.

"I'll grab the pizza," I smiled, "You take care of Jett?"

"Of course," Darren answered smiling back.

Kissing him once more we got out of the car and went to do what we said. The pizza man quickly gave me the pizza and bread sticks before getting paid going on his way.

I went inside knowing that Darren was probably feeding Jett at that time. What I didn't expect was for the man to take the food from my hands and place it on the table as soon as I walked into the kitchen.

Opening my mouth to question him I found Darren's lips pressed against mine. A soft sigh built in my throat as I rested my hands on his hips letting him be in control of the kiss.

"Sorry," Darren muttered pulling back.

"You don't have to apologize for kissing me," I smiled, "I love when you kiss me."

"No, not for that. For fighting with Abby. For not being able to forgive her. I know she means a lot to you. I just hate knowing that she's hurt you and gotten away with it."

"I'm going to talk to her tomorrow after work. But that doesn't matter. Right now it's just about us."

"I like that thought."

Smiling I kissed Darren once more before hearing a loud bark behind me. A soft sigh fell from my lips while Darren started to laugh. Glaring at him slightly I turned to Jett and saw him with his leash in his mouth.

"I'll be back in ten minutes," Darren said pulling away from me.

"Nope," I shook my head, "It's my turn to walk him."

Darren cocked his head to the side before nodding his head and turning away from me. Going upstairs I quickly changed into some workout clothing before getting Jett and starting his walk.

As I ran with my dog I let my mind wonder. Darren and I had been dating for a year, living together for six months, officially owned a house together. The next step for us was to get engaged.

Of course I knew that it was too early for me to ask him to marry me. But when was it an appropriate time? And would Darren even want to be engaged at some point in time?

I knew that was what I wanted. All my life I had wanted to find love, get married, and start a family. When I figured I was bi-sexual and possibly going to marry a man I found myself thinking I'd just adopt.

I liked having these thoughts. Liked knowing where I wanted my life to end up. I just hadn't really thought about what the other person would want. Or when they would want it to happen if they did want it.

Yes, I knew I was getting ahead of myself. I just couldn't stop myself from thinking it. I wasn't lying when I told Gibbs I already figured out the ring I wanted to give Darren.

Maybe I should talk to Sarah about it. She'd be able to ask Darren what he thought without making it seem like I was trying to push the man into something he wasn't ready for.

"Darren," I called when I got back home.

"In here," Darren responded from upstairs.

Putting Jett's leash away I made my way upstairs and into our bedroom. Darren stood in the middle of the room with a pair of sweats in his hands. It looked like Darren was putting away the last of the laundry.

"Hey," I smiled wrapping my arms around his waist.

"You're all sweaty," Darren stated leaning against me.

"That usually happens when you run. I thought we were eating dinner?"

"I wasn't going to eat without you, but seriously, you need a shower."

With a small laugh I spun Darren around and pulled him into a kiss. Even with Darren complaining about the sweat his arms found their way around my neck pulling me closer.

This was the type of peaceful thing that I loved. No job, no school, no family or friends. It was just about Darren and I. As I thought that I slowly moved us back until we fell onto the bed.

Breaking the kiss I looked down at the man I loved and felt my breathe hitch. Maybe I was wrong. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this man. I just needed to know where he stood on it.

"I love you," I muttered pressing my lips to his once more.

"I love you too," Darren replied with a smile, "But if you want in this bed you're going to shower. I just washed these sheets."

Laughing happily I started to climb off the bed only to have a hand placed on the back of my head bring me down once more. Darren's kiss was slow, more sensual than anything else.

"You're sending me mixed signals here," I smiled pulled away, "Either you want me to stay or you want me in the shower."

"I want you in the shower," Darren nodded, "I just never said I wanted you to be in there alone."

With a quick smirk Darren slowly climbed out from underneath me, making sure to press against me, and made his way into our bathroom. His T-shirt ended up being flung to the floor in the process.

I stayed on the bed for a moment before following him into the bathroom. As I shut the door behind me I felt a pair of hands slowly make their way under my shirt, nails gently scraping at the skin before pulling it off.

"Darren," I sighed wrapping one hand around his waist while the other rested on his jaw, "Most people start in the bedroom when they buy a new house."

"You should know by now, Timothy," Darren spoke his lips and tongue dancing up and down my neck, "I'm not like most people."

Darren moved down slowly, to a spot I could easily cover up, before gently biting down. Groaning slowly I pressed a hand to the back of his neck and tugged until his lips finally moved and attached to mine.

With my eyes open I guided us back to the shower and turned the water on. Almost burning water instantly hit by back causing me to fumble with the knobs until the temperature was good.

As the water ran down me I realized that I was still half dressed while Darren was completely naked. Moving away from the man I quickly fixed that before pressing myself tightly against me.

"Oh," Darren sighed his hips slowly circling.

Groaning softly at the feeling I let my hands slide down his body until they were resting on his ass. I kept my movements slow as I separated the cheeks and pushed a finger inside of him.

Darren moaned softly a small hint of pain in the sound. No matter how many times we did this Darren was always so tight I thought I was going to hurt him. He also knew what he needed to do to relax quickly though.

Soon I had three fingers in him and soft mewling sounds were falling from his lips. I loved seeing him like this. So free and beautiful and all of this was just for me to see.

"Timothy," Darren moaned pumping back on my fingers, "Come on, please. Please."

"Yeah," I said moving around so I had a good angle before pushing in.

Darren's head fell back against my shoulder as a loud moan left his lips. None of this was rushed. It was just Darren and I showing each other we were both there for the other.

Thrusting into his willing body I kept them slow, but deep as a hand wrapped around Darren jerking him in time with my thrusts. All the while soft moans and sighs fell from his lips.

I could feel the water slowly starting to turn cold around us. As I realized that I felt myself speed my hand up. Seeing and feeling Darren go over the edge was always the fastest way to get me to follow.

Not five thrusts later Darren's cum was being washed away by the water while he leaned heavily against me my own cum filling him. I couldn't stop the smile that came to my lips as I leaned forward and kissed him.

"Come on," I grinned, "After we wash up we'll go to bed. We can eat tomorrow."


	18. Chapter 18

"How's it working out, Gibbs?" Vance asked walking up behind me.

I had decided to look over my team from the catwalk while everyone pilled into the bullpen. So far only Darren and McGee were in, both of them wearing the same bliss filled smiled.

Honestly, I didn't want to think about what that smile meant, but I was happy they were wearing it. Not many relationships lasted when one of the people was a cop of any sort.

Darren didn't seem to mind. Though he was working on his thesis paper he ended up getting here and leaving with McGee. Even if that meant staying around until two o'clock in the morning.

In the month that he had been here I had to admit that I was impressed with how Darren worked. He might not be a cop, but if he ever decided to change careers I knew he'd make a good one.

Then there was how I thought of him on a more personal level. That was harder. Darren and I never talked all that much. Usually it was because of a case, though we've only had one so far.

I had wanted him to know that he was in control of this though. If he wanted to have some sort of relationship with me all he needed to do was ask. Luckily, he ended up asking a few days ago.

Night we were supposed to have dinner together. Just the two of us. It was weird to think, but, not counting the meeting in the basement, this was our first real time together. I didn't know what to think.

"We're having dinner tonight," I responded taking a sip of my coffee.

"Hmm," Vance nodded staring at McGee and Darren, "They do know it's obvious that they're together, right?"

Looking down at the couple I saw that Vance as right. McGee was watching Darren with love in his eyes while Darren was doing everything to keep as close to McGee as possible. How had I missed that before?

Tony walked into the bullpen before I could answer Vance. He theatrically dropped his bag by his desk before grinning at the couple. Seemed like he had a story to tell.

He didn't get all that far into it before McGee excused himself leaving Darren to watch him worriedly as he got on the elevator. As the doors closed Tony took a step towards Darren ad rested a hand on his shoulder.

Something had changed between Tony and Darren ever since Tony did his interview. They were closer and it almost looked like Tony was taking the protective brother stance with Darren, but that was too soon.

No, if anything I'd say that he knew about their relationship and was providing Darren with some peace of mind that he had McGee's back when we were out in the field.

It was a good thing to see. This team was a family and now Darren was becoming part of that family. Though it would only happen fully when I finally told the team that he was my son.

How was I supposed to do that though? No, I couldn't do this again. Darren got hurt with the last lie and this time I knew it was the entire team on the line if this went bad.

"You have a case," Vance suddenly stated.

As Vance told me what he knew I saw McGee and Ziva join Darren and Tony in the bullpen. This was our second case since Darren had started following us. The first crime scene hadn't ended well.

Moving away from Vance I made my way towards my team making sure that I was watching them interact. If I was right Ziva was the only person in this group that didn't know about Darren and McGee.

I couldn't see her having a problem with it, but there was always that chance. We needed to tell everyone and get it out of the way. I was going to have to talk to Darren about it tonight.

"Okay, according to this website," Darren grinned, "Anthony means…Worthy of Praise."

"Of course it does," Tony smirked putting his feet on his desk.

Tony started to talk quickly about how before he was even born everyone knew what kind of person he was. He wasn't even halfway through when the other three rolled their eyes at him.

"Ziva means Brilliance, Brightness," Darren interrupted.

"Hmm," Ziva voiced, "Is that right?"

"Maybe you don't know how many lives you light up."

Darren's eyes quickly flickered to Tony before going to McGee's. I watched the couple have a little conversation with their eyes then looking back at the other two. Seemed Darren thought Ziva and Tony would make a good couple. He wasn't wrong.

"Timothy means…Honored by God," Darren spoke thoughtfully.

"I guess we'll never really know if that's true," McGee shrugged.

"Maybe not, but if we change it so that it's just 'Honor' than we're good."

McGee smiled softly at Darren a loving look filling his eyes before he looked away. In my mind I knew that not everyone would be okay if the two came out, but watching them made it difficult to believe anyone would object to it.

"What does Darren mean?" Tony asked leaning forward.

"He Who Upholds the Good," I answered walking into the bullpen, "Grab your bags. Marine and his wife found in their house."

Darren froze for a second remembering what the last crime scene he went to looked like before grabbing his things. I wasn't sure I wanted Darren to come to the scene, but I wasn't going to stop him.

"Are you sure you would like to come, Darren?" Ziva questioned as we got into the elevator.

"No," Darren shook his head, "But I know how important this job is to people. Given it's not my job, but if I do this right I'll be able to help police in the future. Help them solve more cases in less time. I have to try."

"He Who Upholds the Good. It does seem fitting. Does it not?"

A small smile came to Darren's lips as the doors opened. We went to the van and everyone climbed in. McGee and Darren were in the back causing me to remind myself to drive so we didn't get in a crash.

"Huh," Darren said softly.

"What?" Tony asked as I pulled out, "Leroy means 'The King' and Jethro means 'Eminent'. I had to look that up. Eminent means 'Of high standing'."

Silence filled the van as we made our way to the scene. Seemed everyone was thinking about what my name meant. I don't know why they thought it was strange. It was just a name. Though they did say the name made the man.

When we finally got to crime scene Ziva and Tony were acting like themselves once more while Darren and McGee were talking quietly in the back. If I had to guess it was McGee telling Darren that he could leave the scene whenever he needed to.

The silence washed over us once again as Darren stared at the house. Everything looked normal on the outside, but I knew that wasn't going to be the case when we got inside.

Darren's movements, though slow, were sure. He honestly thought that following us around, studying us, was going to help the police force in the future. I hoped that he was right.

A choked sound cam from Darren when he saw the crime scene. The wife was on the ground halfway in the kitchen a knife sticking out of her back while the husband was by the front door with multiple stab wounds to his chest.

Ducky and Palmer were standing over the husband talking to each other. Looking up from the body Ducky gave Darren a reassuring smile before launching into what he had so far.

Darren shakily got a notebook out of his bag and started to write down what Ducky was saying and what he saw, but he I could hear him taking deep breaths to keep himself calm.

Everyone went about what they normally did, but I could see McGee looking over at Darren periodically. So far the student seemed fine, but I knew that that could change quickly.

"What are these?" Tony asked holding up a couple of pill bottles.

Darren took a step closer to Tony to read the label. As he read I watched his eyes grow larger before they darted over to the wife. A sad look filled his eyes as he looked over at me.

"You might want to double check," Darren said his voice very subdued, "But if I'm right. It seems they were having difficulties getting pregnant."

It wasn't long after that that we went back to the Naval Yard. Darren, having successfully making it through the crime scene, decided that today he was going to spend the day down in autopsy.

The went on normally, with McGee periodically going down to autopsy to check on Darren. He said that everything was fine and Ducky and Palmer were enjoying Darren's company.

Around nine o'clock that night Darren walked into the bullpen. He looked just as pale as he had during the crime scene, but now he had a cup of tea in his hands that was no doubt supposed to help calm him.

"Ducky and Palmer leave for the night?" Tony questioned looking up from his computer.

"Yeah," Darren nodded, "I got up a cup of tea before they left though. Are we leaving tonight or is this an all-nighter?"

Looking between everyone I knew that I could say that we were staying the night. It was easy to pick work when it was my ex-wives, but I had plans with my son. I didn't want to pick work over him.

Then there was McGee. His leg had been bouncing for the past hour. It looked liked he had plans with someone, but I had no idea who it was with since Darren was with me.

"McGee," Abby smiled bouncing into the bullpen, "Are we going?"

McGee turned towards me and I realized what he was doing. Nodding my head I stood up while grabbing my jacket. Everyone but Darren moved quickly towards the elevator.

Both of us waited for a moment in silence for the elevator to get to the ground floor and empty. Once I was sure it was empty once more I motioned for Darren to follow me.

"Can we have something simple for dinner?" Darren taking a sip of his drink, "I don't think I could handle more."

"I know a place," I nodded.

My son gave me a smile and continued to follow me to my truck when the elevator stopped. It was weird to think, but for someone reason Darren seemed to be putting his trust in me.

The restaurant was fairly empty when we go there, but luckily I knew they didn't close until for another two hours. After ordering some soup for both of us I let the silence fill the space.

"Timothy was telling me that you work a lot with your hands," Darren finally said.

"I do," I nodded, "Keeps me busy."

"What kind of things do you do?"

"Work with wood mostly. Boats. Toys during the holiday season."

"I've always wanted to try my hand at that, but I have like zero focus. Seriously, don't let the me being extremely focused when I'm with the team. That's only because I'm doing something I know how to do and am passionate about. Oh that would be an idea."

"What?"

"Timothy's birthday is coming up and he's a hard person to shop for. He never really wants anything. Now that he has an office though it would be something for him to have a nice desk."

"His birthday is?"

"Oh, it's in…I should know that. Umm…Stupid numbers. I know it's in a few months though. Timothy was right. I'm not good at remember things."

"What kind of wood would you use?"

"Something dark. Cherry, maybe."

"I am looking for a new project."

"You'll help me? That would be so amazing, Gibbs."

Darren launched into what he had been thinking for the desk. Going as far as to sketch it out on a napkin. He might not focus or remember things, but he was passionate when he did want something.

"I'm looking forward to it," I said giving him a small smile, "Son."


	19. Chapter 19

"I love this place, McGee," Abby smiled happily looking over the menu, "They have the best chocolate cherry cake."

Smiling slightly at the scientist I saw just how happy she was about our dinner. Happy enough that I was second guessing whether or not I should tell her what had been on my mind.

I couldn't get Darren's words out of my head. How was it possible for me to forgive Abby for everything when she didn't even know that she had done something wrong?

What was I supposed to say though? How could I confront her after all this time about what happened? Did she even remember? Or had she brushed everything under the carpet like I did?

"Are you okay, Timmy?" Abby asked taking a drink of her beer.

"I was just thinking," I sighed softly, "About what happened Friday."

"I know! How could that man say those things to me? Who did he think he was? I know that he's like your friend or whatever, but what he did…"

"He wasn't wrong, Abby. Not completely anyway."

Abby seemed to freeze when I said that. I had no idea what happened after Darren and I left, but I had hoped that someone had talked to Abby about what happened. Though I should know that Abby wasn't much of a listener.

This was going to be my only chance to get her to listen to me. If this didn't work I was going to go back to ignoring whatever happened between the two of us and Darren and her would never get along.

Abby was one of my best friends though. I might not have been ready to tell the team that I was seeing a man, but I was getting there. With how Tony, Gibbs, and Ducky reacted I knew it was time.

But if I wasn't able to get Abby and Darren talking then two of the people I cared about the most would always be fighting. I didn't know if I was going to be able to deal with that.

No, I wanted them to get along even if it was just as acquaintances. As long as they were able to be in the same place without fighting then everything would work out just fine somehow.

"Abby," I started, "You're one of my best friends. I care so much about you, but I just…I can't understand."

"Understand what?" Abby asked fearfully curious.

"Why that dog was more important than me. Why you didn't listen to me when your crazy ex was trying to get to you. Why you thought it was a good idea to take a class full of students into the middle of the desert in Mexico."

Abby opened her mouth to make a comeback, but stopped when our food arrived. The waiter took his time give us our drinks and appetizer. Luckily when he left I was able to spoke before the scientist.

"Why am I expendable to you, Abby?" I whispered.

"Tim!" Abby yelped incredulously, "You're not expendable!"

"Then explain it to me. Explain why you picked a dog you had barely seen for five seconds over the man you constantly tell you love. Explain why I got punished when I told you,  _told you,_  not to open that door. Explain to me why you put those students and yourself at risk like that."

Abby's eyes were slightly wider than usual as I finished talking. She looked like she honestly had no idea what she had done. It was almost like she didn't remember what had happened at all.

That hurt more than I thought it would. I had gone through all the different ways this conversation could go, I had thought of it this way, but it was so much worse actually being here.

I had loved Abby for so long. I had thought that she and I were going to have a future together. I dreamt that we would get married, move into this amazing house, and have children.

It took me awhile to figure out that we were on different pages. Abby wasn't ready to settle down. I doubted she ever would be. But still, I knew that she had loved me just as much as I loved her.

I couldn't do it though. I couldn't be in a relationship where I didn't see a future. It had always been part of me. Everyone else was looking for a good one-night-stand while I was wondering if the person was going to be 'The One'.

Now I believed I had found the person that I was going to spend the rest of my life with. And I was going to do everything I could do to make sure that the people in my life stayed in it.

"Tim," Abby finally spoke her voice more subdued than I'd ever heard before, "You know I love you. You're my best friend."

"I know that," I smiled, "I love you too, Abby. Let's start at the beginning though. With Jett."

"Jethro."

"No, Abby. I changed his name to Jett. It felt wrong calling him that. Why did you pick him over me?"

"I didn't…"

"You called me a 'bad' for months after it, Abby. You took my jacket and gave it to him. You made me take him home with me even though I had nightmares."

"Nightmares?"

"Yeah, a lot of them. I was terrified that he was going to hurt me again. And there was nothing I could do because I knew that if it ever got back to you that I gave him to another family, even if they were a good home, you would have…I don't even want to think of what you'd do if I did."

Abby looked down at her place quickly, but I could see the tears gathering in her eyes. I hadn't meant to hurt her feelings. I truly hadn't. I couldn't back down though. Not if I wanted to fix everything.

"I'm so sorry, Timmy," Abby sniffled, "I don't know what to say."

"Just tell me why," I offered softly.

"I don't know! I just…I saw Jethro…Jett…in the back of the car and he was bleeding. Then you said you shot him. I didn't want to believe he had hurt anyone."

"He had hurt me."

"I know. I think…I was scared, Tim. I saw that you were hurt and I know that you could have died and I…"

"You acted mad at me so you wouldn't have to face the fear?"

Abby nodded her head quickly while giving me a hopeful smile. I hadn't thought of what had been going on in Abby's mind when I showed up. I was just so hurt by everything that had happened.

I could understand why she did what she did. That didn't mean I still wasn't hurt by it, but I did have a better idea of how her mind worked. It was a start to figuring out how to get back to what we had.

The rest of dinner was filled with Abby and I talking about everything that had happened between us. Most of the time we were having a serious conversation, but there were times that we were laughing our heads off.

I hadn't realized how much our relationship had changed over the years. She was my best friend, but as we talked it was like we were trying to catch up as well as fix our relationship.

"Abby," I coughed out a laugh, "Not while I'm drinking something."

"Sorry," Abby smiled, "But that was just too good to pass up. So, there's one thing we have talked about yet."

"What's that?"

"Are you seeing anyone?"

I froze when Abby said that. Ever since Abby and I broke up it was a little weird to talk about relationships. Either one or both of us ended up jealous though neither ever did anything about it.

Now there was a relationship. A very serious relationship and it was with someone that, so far, Abby didn't like at all. And I thought confronting her about our past was the hard part.

"Yeah," I answered putting my fork down, "There is someone."

"Tell me about her," Abby grinned.

She honestly looked like she was happy for me. It seemed liked this conversation hadn't just fixed what had happened in the past, but our future as friends was getting stronger as well.

"Abby," I cleared my throat, "It's not a girl."

"You're gay?" Abby asked surprised, "But I thought we…"

"We were. I'm bi."

"Why didn't you tell me? You know that nothing would have changed between us if you had. Or…Were you that upset with me?"

"No, no Abby that's not it at all. The first time I came out. It didn't end well."

"Tell me about it."

So I did. I told Abby about the yelling my parents did. How they tried to bribe me into just being with women. How they refused to talk to me about it. How the only other person in my family that knew, besides my parents and sister, was my grandmother.

I explained how that had broken my heart because I loved my family so much. For awhile I tried to fix everything, but I had never found a way to do that. It was something I hated more than anything.

"I'm so sorry, Tim," Abby sighed holding my hand, "Who are you dating?"

"Darren," I said staring at her, "He's not a bad guy, Abby. He was just…"

"Upset? Of course he was. I would have been upset if someone had treated my boyfriend the way I treated you. Don't worry. We'll work it out, Tim."


	20. Chapter 20

"Abby," Darren said his voice almost clinical, "Thank you for letting me interview you."

"It's no problem," I answered with a smile.

I still didn't like Darren. He was just so…I don't know. Maybe it was because of how he attacked me, but I just didn't want him around the people I cared about. Though now I knew there was no chance of getting him away.

It was a shock to have McGee tell him that he was not only bi-sexual, but that he was in love with and living with, Darren. I thought that my friend could do so much better than him.

Though if I had to be honest I knew that part of me was never going to be happy if McGee was with anyone but me. I did love him. I just wasn't ready for the things that he wanted.

He never got mad at me for that. When I told him that I just wasn't ready for marriage or kids and I had no idea how long it would be until I was he just looked… Saddened.

McGee was a good guy though. He deserved to have whatever life he wanted. If I was only in that life as a friend than I was going to have to deal with that. And I would deal with it.

That didn't mean that I had to like who he was dating. I mean, Darren? He was so…Ugh. I hated that I couldn't find the right word to describe the man sitting across from me.

"First question," Darren stated looking down at his notebook, "How many cases do you usually work at one time?"

"It could be anywhere between 1 and 9," I nodded, "We try to keep me from hitting double digits, but sometimes it doesn't work out that way. It really does depend, but it's really fun."

"How do you keep the cases straight?"

"I'm surprisingly good with my focus even if it doesn't seem that way. My music helps a lot with that."

The questions followed that same line of thinking, but I started to notice a few things. Darren was refusing to look at me, his voice wasn't changing tone at all, and I saw him checking his watch periodically.

This guy really did hate me. Well, maybe hate is a strong word, but he sure didn't like me. Was this all just because of what I did to McGee? Or…No, he was acting this way because of what I did to McGee.

I didn't get it though. Alright, I was starting to realize that what I did to him was wrong, but he was starting to forgive me. It was going to take some time and next time I did anything he was going to call me on it, but he forgave me.

What was up with Darren then? He should be supportive of his boyfriend and try to get along with his best friend. But no, he decided that he didn't like me and that was final.

"McGee forgave me," I interrupted without thinking.

Darren stopped talking, stopped moving, for a second I thought he stopped breathing when I said that. That was until I saw his hand twitch slightly before he put his pen down.

Now the man's eyes were barreling towards me and I couldn't help but wonder if this is what it felt like to be in interrogated. No, Darren wasn't a cop he was just…An angry boyfriend. Was that worse or better?

"I'm aware of what Timothy has done, Abby," Darren spoke deathly calm, "How is this important at this moment in time?"

"It's important because you have to forgive me now too," I said like it was obvious.

"I do? Really? Because I thought I had to tolerate you. Which I'm trying to do right now."

"You're not very good at it."

"I'll learn for Timothy's sake."

"Listen, Darren, I don't know who you think you are…"

"I'm the person that loves Timothy with all of his heart. I'm the person that holds him when he has nightmares. I'm the person that he holds when I have nightmares. I'm the person he goes home to. I'm the person that dreams of their future together. Who are you?"

Darren's speech made me feel both guilt and stubbornness. He should know that starting with me wasn't going to end well for him and that was going to hurt McGee in the end.

"I love him too," I glared.

"Do you?" Darren rolled his eyes, "Funny way to show it."

"I'm trying here!"

"You'll have to try harder because the only thing I see when I look at you is the reason the man I love might not come home from work! You keep going on about how you care and love Timothy, but you put him in these situations that could get him killed and you walk away without a care in the world!"

"He's my friend."

"He's my boyfriend, Abby. Do you know what that means?"

"You have sex with him?"

The glare in Darren's eyes deepened as he stood up and slowly made his way around the table. With those multi-colored eyes glaring down at me I was reminded of Gibbs for some reason.

"It means that I will protect Timothy until my final breath," Darren almost growled when he was standing in front of me, "Even if that means protecting him from his  _best friend_."

Glaring back at Darren I stood up ready to take him on before his words hit me. He didn't hate me. He was scared. He was scared that in the future something I did was going to kill McGee.

Would that happen? Had I really put McGee in a dangerous enough situation that Darren felt the need to protect him from me? Or was it possible that the man was just overreacting?

As much as I wished that he was, I knew that Darren had a good reason to be fearful. I had done horrible, dangerous things to McGee. Now I was going to have to pay for them.

McGee said that he forgave me and I knew that he had. He had just wanted to get everything out in the open so it didn't come up in a fight, not that we fought, or happened again.

No, Darren had a reason to be acting the way he was. And that was my fault. It was going to take a lot to get the man to believe I wouldn't purposefully hurt McGee again, but I had to try.

I had heard the way McGee went on about Darren and I knew that he loved Darren just as much as Darren loved him. They were happy together. Nothing I said or did would change that. Not that I wanted to.

It was weird, but now that I was seeing things from Darren's point of view I felt even worse about what I had done. There was nothing I could do though besides apologize and not do it again.

"He cares about you too," I finally said, "You two deserve each other."

"No," Darren sighed softly, "Timothy deserves better than me. I still don't know why he puts up with me."

"What? What do you mean?"

Darren opened his mouth almost immediately, but froze when he remembered who he was talking to. I didn't like that. No one ever just stopped talking to me. They all trusted me.

"I'm not a good person, Abby," Darren shook his head, "I'm a junkie who still wants a hit more times then I'd like to admit. I've stolen things from anyone I could even if they were worse off than me. I've beaten people up for no reason other then the fact I was in so much pain that I wanted them to hurt as well. Hell, I sent a guy to the hospital and I barely remember it because I was too high. Timothy deserves better than that."

I stared at Darren with wide eyes for a moment. To say that I didn't expect that was an understatement. I couldn't stop myself from wondering if McGee knew about all of this or not.

No, had had to know. Darren wouldn't have told me if he didn't. He had to know more though because I knew that this wasn't it. And, though I still barely liked Darren, my heart ached thinking that.

"What am I to McGee, Darren?" I questioned calmly, "Come on, you've pointed it out already a few times."

"His best friend," Darren whispered.

"And you, a man that has known McGee for a year, was more than willing to take on his best friend of six…Seven years? You did some things in you're past and you obviously regret them. Trust me, if I didn't think you were good enough for him you'd know."

Darren couldn't stop the small chuckle that escaped his lips when I said that. I wasn't expecting some miracle to happen, but I knew that this was a step in the right direction for me and Darren to become friends.

After McGee and my conversation four days ago I had no idea what I was supposed to expect. But none of my thoughts had prepared me for this and I was actually happy about that.

"Don't think this means I won't hit you if you hurt him again," Darren said though he had a small smile.

"I think I'd hit you if you didn't hit me," I grinned happily.


	21. Chapter 21

"Why did I let you talk me into this, Timothy?" Darren grunted hiking his bag up.

"Let me?" I asked with a laugh, "You're the one basically begging to come up to the crime scene though you knew it was going to be a hike."

The case we had been working on with the Marine and his wife had taken a turn. And now we had another body. One that was up in the woods and, as I had pointed out to Darren, was a hike.

I had to admit that I was probably getting more enjoyment out of this situation then I should be. Darren wasn't much of an outdoors person. He would give Jett runs and play in the park with him, but that was basically it.

So when we got a call in about another victim and heard the crime scene was in the mountains I expected him to say that he'd wait for us. I really don't know what I was thinking.

Of course Darren wouldn't want to be left behind. He just wasn't that type of person. Especially when he was focused on something. Which didn't really happen all that much.

Unless it was about a show or movie or even book he was reading. Darren loved to point out that he was a fan-boy. And if his obsession with his shows was anything to show, he was.

That was the thing about Darren that always got to me. He knew who he was. It wasn't always a good thing, but he still knew. He was a fan-boy, a junkie, a student, a thief, a gay man, an orphan, until recently at least. He knew.

I'll admit that I had problems with that sometimes. I wanted to be okay with everything that had happened in my past. The bullying, my family. Those things were a part of me. I just didn't really want to accept them.

I could still remember the first time that Darren shakily told me that he wanted some drugs. It was almost a month into our relationship and everything was going amazingly.

Darren and I were trying to take things slow at my request. We'd meet for coffee when we could or talk on the computer. At least once a week we'd meet up to eat, whether it was for breakfast, lunch, or dinner, we'd always meet once a week.

That night the team had just finished up a case where a little girl, no older than six, found her parents dead. We were lucky enough to find a family member that was more than willing to raise her, but it was still a long day. Then Darren showed up.

" _I didn't know where else to go," Darren muttered through his tears, "I just…I need…Please?"_

_As quickly as the shock came to Timothy's body he felt it wash away. Something had happened to Darren. Something that was obviously hurting him. Standing there staring would do no one good._

_Wrapping his arms tightly around his boyfriends shaking body Timothy closed the door behind them and went to the couch. Jett jumped up almost as soon as they sat down trying to help his owner calm Darren._

_This was the first time he had ever seen the man like this. Okay, so they had only known each other for a few months and only started dating last month, but it was still a shock to see._

_Darren was strong. He never backed down without a fight. He would stand up for anyone if they needed help. He would glare at people until they finally relented and left or apologized._

_Never in his wildest dreams would Timothy ever think of Darren like he was right then. Shaking like a leaf, sobbing so hard he could barely breathe. It was just so far away from who he was._

" _Darren," Timothy soothed rubbing his back, "You need to breathe. Just feel my breathing and try to match it."_

" _Do-Don't lea-leave," Darren stuttered clenching his eyes shut._

" _Shh, I won't. I'm not going anywhere. Shh."_

_It took almost an hour of doing that before Darren finally calmed down and drifted off into a sleep. Still, neither Timothy or Jett moved. And they wouldn't until Darren woke up. Two hours later._

"Timothy," Darren suddenly stopped, "I'm going to take a break."

Breaking out of my thoughts I turned around and saw Darren leaning heavily on a tree panting softly. I moved quickly towards him when I saw that hoping that he was just tired.

No matter how much I hoped though I knew that wasn't going to be the case. There had been another reason I didn't think Darren would come with us to the scene. Darren's heart.

As much as I hated to admit it, which was almost as much as Darren, his heart wasn't as strong as others. It was a good heart, but it could get dangerous for him if it started to beat to quickly.

That was another reason Darren wasn't really an outdoors type of person. Even now I knew that Darren, though he took Jett on walks, never really ran. He only jogged and even then he kept a close watch on his heartbeat.

"Darren," I sighed resting a hand over his heart trying to tell how quickly his heart was beating, "How long?"

"Not long," Darren panted, "A minute or two?"

"Why didn't you ask for a break sooner?"

"You have a scene to get to. That's your job. Not baby-sitting me."

"Well, I'd lose more time planning and going to your funeral than I would  _baby-sitting_  you, wouldn't I?"

Darren didn't say anything back, but I knew that he felt guilty. He didn't do this type of thing often, but that didn't mean it was any less scary. I wanted it to never happen again.

That wasn't going to happen though. While the man was careful there were times when he just wasn't thinking or he couldn't control the out come. Luckily, he was pretty good at backing down when he needed to.

"We're about five minutes out," I finally said looking at my watch, "I'm going to call Ducky and…"

"No," Darren interrupted, "I'll be fine in a minute. When we get up there fine, he can check me out, but I'm not dragging him from his work."

"Darren…"

"Please, Timothy?"

I sighed softly at that before nodding my head. As much as I wanted to call up Ducky and have him or Palmer come down and check on Darren I knew that he knew his body better than me.

Still, I made him wait an extra minute after he said that he was fine before we finished up our hike. I really didn't want to think of what it was going to be like when we started to go down the mountain.

"Nice of you two to join us," Gibbs glared when we finally made it.

"My fault," Darren waved slowly while taking deep breaths, "Umm, Ducky, or Palmer, whichever I'm not picky, when you're done with him would you mind checking me?"

As soon as those words left Darren's mouth everyone's attention snapped t him. From the outside it looked like he was just a little out of breath, but if you knew about his heart.

Wait, did they know about his heart? I honestly couldn't remember if we had told them about it yet. That didn't matter now. They were going to find out one way or another.

"Run into something poisonous?" Tony smirked while taking a picture of Darren.

"No," Darren shook his head not realizing Tony was picking on him, "I think I overdid it with the hike. My chest is tight and my heart is, or at least was, beating too quickly."

Hearing the seriousness of the situation Tony lowered his camera and looked over at me. I knew that he wanted me to say that it was just a joke, but I knew that I couldn't do that.

"Is something wrong with your heart, Darren?" Ziva asked curiously.

"I was in a car accident when I was a kid," Darren answered, "My heart was impaled by a branch of a tree. They had to do a transplant and now I have to monitor my heart. I didn't think the hike would be all that bad, but I guess I was wrong."

I watched everyone watch Darren for a moment before they realized that he wasn't going to say anymore. The man simply stood there with his eyes closed. Though this time I knew it wasn't because of the scene.

Sighing to myself I turned to the scene and started to work. It wasn't long before Ducky was checking Darren's pulse while quietly berating him for doing something he knew was wrong. After that my mind started to wonder again.

" _I don't want this," Darren shakily stated his eyes pleading, "I don't want to."_

" _Don't want what, Darren?" Timothy asked confused._

" _The drugs. I don't…I've been clean. I swear I'm clean. I am. I just…I just need one…No! I can't. But I…Please?"_

_It didn't take long for Timothy to figure out what Darren was talking about. Tightening his grip on the younger man he started to mutter reassurances that he knew Darren barely heard._

It might have been the first time that happened, but it wasn't the last. And for some reason part of me wished that Darren was just asking for drugs right now. Because I could do something then.

When it came to Darren's heart I had no control. I couldn't look at him and tell he needed help. I couldn't say the right thing and hold him until he was fine. No, I couldn't do anything to help the man I loved. And I hated myself for that.


	22. Chapter 22

"An interesting young man, isn't he, Jethro?" Ducky questioned walking up behind me.

Nodding my head slightly I watched the team from the catwalk once again. It was becoming a regular thing since Darren joined the team. I didn't get to see how my team worked with outsiders often.

There was also the fact that they were interacting with my son and they didn't even know it. At least this way I actually knew what they thought of him before I told them the truth. Something I had to do soon.

How was I supposed to do that? This time I couldn't say that I didn't tell because I didn't want to hurt anyone. Me not telling them was simply because I wasn't ready for any of this.

Two months. That's how long Darren had been in my life. That's how long I had known I had a son. Still, the only people that knew about him was Vance, McGee, Darren, and myself.

I don't know why, but I kept thinking that I was continuously messing up in this situation. That wasn't a feeling I was used to and it was not something I wanted to feel again.

I needed to tell the team what was going on, but it wasn't my decision alone. This was going to effect Darren and McGee just as much it was me. The three of us were going to have to discuss this together.

Then there was my Father. I knew that he gave up the thought of having any more grandchildren after Kelly died. Now it got to tell him that he not only had one, but one that was in his twenties.

"Jethro?" Ducky spoke once more, "What is it? And don't try to say it is nothing. I can tell that you, Darren, and Timothy are hiding something. Something more than Darren and Timothy dating. So, what is it?"

Finally turning to the M.E. I noticed that he wasn't even looking at me. His eyes had been trained on the team the whole time. Still he knew what was going on without looking at me.

"This can't go further than you for now," I stated calmly.

"Of course, my friend," Ducky said turning to me.

"Darren is my son."

I watched as Ducky's eyes widened in surprise. I couldn't say what the older man had been thinking, but I doubted that was it. Though now that he knew I could see that he thought it explained a lot.

And it did. I never would have allowed someone like Darren to shadow my team. Especially since I knew about his past. No, everyone knew there was a reason he was following us. They just didn't know what it was.

"Well, that must have been a surprise," Ducky finally said.

"That would be an understatement," I shook my head.

"He knows?"

"Yeah, he, McGee, and Vance."

Nodding his head Ducky turned back towards the team. While we had been talking Darren had left. If I was right he was probably getting lunch for everyone. Something he'd been doing almost every day since he came.

I couldn't say that I truly knew a lot about the younger man, but there were a few things I picked up. One of them, one I was quite happy about, was how caring he was towards everyone.

Getting lunch if we had a case, without anyone saying anything. He had already realized that Tony joked when he was stressed, Ziva would either train or cook or something like that, and McGee, well, Darren already knew how to handle him.

"When will you tell the team?" Ducky asked softly.

"I don't know," I answered honestly, "I need to talk to Darren and McGee about that first."

"Speaking of Darren and McGee. They seem to have a strong relationship."

"They do. Moved in together a few months ago."

"Do you think they're get married, Jethro?"

My mind stuttered for a second when he said that. I had always known that McGee was the type to settle down. I just wasn't sure if that was what Darren wanted either.

They had been together for a little over a year now. It was different for everyone, but was it possible that them getting married was in the near future? Or was I able to get to know my son before I got a son-in-law?

Why hadn't I wondered about the extent of their relationship before? I knew that this whole situation was new to me and while I thought I was doing well, I couldn't help but wonder if I truly was.

In the time Darren had been here he and I had a few dinners and that talk in my basement. Nothing really more than that. I had offered to help build a desk for McGee, but nothing came of that.

I had never run from a situation, no I wasn't counting Mexico as running, but I wasn't exactly going forward either. Though I knew I wasn't the only one not going forward here.

Without saying anything to Ducky I turned towards the elevator. I needed to talk to Darren. We had a lot we still had to do and, if the time ever came, I wanted to know that I knew my son as well as I knew my son-in-law.

As I walked to the elevator I pulled out my phone and called Darren. Telling him to meet me outside of my coffee house I made my way to my car. It was time to take the first step.

"Hey Gibbs," Darren smiled walking up to me, "Is something wrong?"

"No," I said taking a sip of coffee, "Something to drink?"

"Umm…Oh, I'll grab a pineapple smoothie. Just give me a…"

"It's on me."

Darren stopped for a moment giving me a confused look before nodding his head slowly. Seemed he was out of his element here as much as I was. That wasn't exactly comforting.

"Why are we here, Gibbs?" Darren asked taking his drink.

"Talk about a desk," I shrugged.

"A desk? Why would we…Wait, the desk I wanted to make for Timothy?"

"Yup. You still want that help?"

The multi-colored eyes stared at me before Darren slowly started to walk away. I had no idea what was going on in the younger mans head, but for some reason I knew it wasn't good.

Part of me was thinking that maybe I had pushed Darren a little too quickly. Everything had been going so well. Now? It was almost like all of that was gone after one question.

"What are you doing, Gibbs?" Darren glared at me, "What are you expecting to happen here?"

"Not expecting anything," I answered honestly, "Just want to get to know you."

"Why?"

Looking at the ground I thought back to what I read in Darren's file and what McGee had told me. I was going to have to earn Darren's trust. I was more than willing to do that, I just didn't think it would be as difficult as it was.

There was one thing I hadn't thought about yet though. How much the man was like me. I knew how difficult it was to get past my defenses. Who knew how hard it was going to be to get past Darren's.

"I lost one child, Darren," I said my voice barely over a whisper, "And already missed out on twenty-six years of yours."

"They weren't all that important," Darren shrugged.

"You were put into the foster system, got in a car accident that caused you to need a new heart, left the foster system after a bad house, lived on the streets, started doing drugs, figured out that you were gay, got off the streets, into college, and started dating an NCIS agent. Am I missing anything?"

"That's basically everything. Again, not all that important if you ask me."

"How is that not important?"

"Because there's nothing I can do about it now. I don't want to think about what I would have become if I didn't decide to change. I don't want to remember how much I continue to fight the urges I have. I don't want to think about what I'd become if it wasn't for Timothy. I don't want it to be important!"

Hearing Darren's voice break I felt myself move to hug him. The only thought running through my head was my son was hurting and there was nothing I could do to help him.

This was why I felt guilty for not being there even though I didn't know. Darren was hurt by his past. A past he wouldn't have if I had just known about him. If I had just known.

"Darren," I muttered softly, "Might come as a surprise for you, but I do care. I do want to get to know you. We'll go slow if you want."

"How slow?" Darren questioned pulling back.

"I wanted to talk to you and McGee about telling the team and my Dad, but we can put that off for awhile longer until you're ready."

"Maybe…Maybe just your Dad?"

"Okay, I'll talk to him. He'll probably be down by the weekend. The four of us can have dinner."

"Four?"

"McGee's part of your life. You're part of my life. Given McGee was already part of it, just a bigger part now. I'll call him."


	23. Chapter 23

"Hey, Sarah," Darren smiled looking up from his notebook, "How was class?"

Today was one of the few days that Darren hadn't follow Tim to his work, mostly because he had classes all day. Still, it was nice to see my best friend around campus once again.

It wasn't that I didn't love that he and my brother were together. How could I not when I saw just how deeply they loved each other? I just happened to miss my friend was all.

Darren was like that though. When he got focused on something you had to realize that he was going to put all of his time and energy into it. I learned that after he disappeared one weekend only to turn up looking like he hadn't slept.

It took Tim and me one twelve hour nap, two gigantic cups of rosehip tea, one showers, and three fajitas before we finally found out what happened. Turns out Darren spent the entire weekend watching the first two seasons of 'Charmed'.

If not for the fact he had a make-or-break test that Monday he wouldn't have come out of his room at all. That's how I ended up spending a lot of my free time with him. Someone needed to care for him.

Then he and Tim started dating. I had to admit it was weird at first. Yeah, I knew Darren was gay and my brother was bi, but to have them start dating either other? No, too weird.

At least that's what I thought. Until my brother dropped Darren off at his dorm room after their first date. Now, Tim was a old school romantic while Darren had never been in a serious relationship in his life.

I can't even explain what it was like to see my brother drop Darren off, walk him to his room, kiss his cheek, and leave. It was so beautiful. Not that I followed them on their date or anything.

Who would do that? Certainly not me. I have a life thank you very much. Still, it was beautiful. The only thing that topped that was the lovey-dovey smile Darren had on his face for the next week and a half.

It only took me a month to figure out that the two of tem belonged together after that first date. They were cute and made the most adorable couple I had ever seen. See what my brother and best friend being in love does to me? Stupid romance.

"Nothing much," I shrugged, "Just missing my best friend."

Instantly a look of guilt came to Darren's face. It wasn't often that I purposefully manipulated Darren. One, because I cared about him and two, because I knew it would hurt him if he found out. This was one of the few times that I had to do it though.

Tim had called me last night while Darren was walking Jett and asked me to talk to my friend. He had started to think about marriage and all that. He needed to know if that was something in the near future or not.

I had wanted to tell him that he didn't have to worry. He could ask Darren the second he got home and the answer would be a big yes, but I couldn't bring myself to do that.

It wasn't that I thought Darren didn't love my brother with all his heart. I just wasn't sure what went through the man's head sometimes. Well, expect for him thinking Tim was too good for him.

That was what lead me here. Guilting my best friend into a lunch date so I could figure out whether or not Tim should ask him to marry him and when he should do that. Wow, my life is fun.

"Come on," Darren said packing up his bag, "Let's get some Greek. I know you love it."

Smiling happily I let the man lead me to the restaurant while we talked about a few of our classes. Yeah, I truly did miss this. Just the two of us hanging out, talking about nothing. At least, not yet.

"So," I started after we ordered our food, "Tell me."

"Tell you what?" Darren asked confused.

"What do you think your wedding would be like?"

I was never the type of person to beat around the bush. Ask anyone. But the look of horror that came to Darren's face when I said that made me wish I was just a little more tactful.

"Wed-Wedding?" Darren gulped, "Did Timothy…Is he…Sarah?"

"He has no idea I'm asking you," I lied, "I was just wondering. I mean, you've been together for a year and you live together now. I just thought…"

"No. Just no. Not going to happen."

When Darren said that I felt a wave of anger fill me. Why was Darren freaking out of the prospect of marrying my brother? Didn't he love my brother enough to spend the rest of his life with him?

No, this conversation was not going where I thought it would. There was something extremely wrong with how far off course it was actually going. And I really didn't like it.

"Is there something wrong with me thinking you're going to marry the man you  _love_?" I questioned with a glare.

Of course, my mouth and my mind didn't seem to be in sync. That was one of my major problems. My mouth got ahead of me when I was angry. You'd think I'd learn that lesson by now.

"What?" Darren shook his head, "Of course not. I'm just…"

"You're just what?" I crossed my arms, "A commitaphobe?"

"No. I'm just not ready for something like that. It's only been a year."

"But you  _love_  him."

"Stop saying it like that. Of course I love him. I love Timothy more than you could ever imagine."

"Just not enough to marry him?"

Darren's eyes narrowed when I said that and I realized just how bad this was turning out. The man in front of me didn't get mad easily. Frustrated and maybe a little upset, yes. But mad? No. Didn't happen.

Now he was full fledged pissed off and it was my fault. I knew that if I had just let him explain rather than going into 'protective little sister' mode I'd understand what was going on.

I didn't though. Even if I knew just how amazing the two of them were together I still knew my brother. I had seen him get his heart broken so many times before this. I didn't want that to happen again.

Never in all the time that they had been dating though did I actually think Darren would hurt him. In fact, he's proven enough times that he'd do everything he could to make sure Tim didn't get hurt.

"You know what?" Darren almost growled standing up, "I don't have to explain this to you, but I will. I never meant to say that I didn't want to marry to Timothy. I do. But I'm not stupid. I know he's going to realize just how much better he could do one day and while I know that day will break me I'm still waiting for it.

"If he asked me to marry him I'd say no because of that fact. But never, never insinuate that I don't care about…That I don't love that man with everything that I am. I do. And as I've pointed out I will do everything I can to protect him. I'll even protect him from me. Something I know he'll need one day.

"Now if you don't mind I have a class to get to. I'll see you later."

Watching my best friend put some money down before walking out of the restaurant I felt my heart break a little for him. I knew he thought Tim could do better, but I never thought it ran that deep.

I quickly told the waiter to pack up our food knowing that I needed to talk to my brother. Nothing I would say to the man was going to help him get past these feelings, but Tim might be able to.

And that was what I wanted. I wanted them to be together for as long as they could. Darren was going to start sabotaging that without realizing it soon. Or maybe he already had. I didn't know. I had to stop this before it started.

After getting the food and hailing a taxi I started to think about what I was supposed to tell my brother. I didn't even know if he knew just how fearful Darren was of their relationship.

"Agent Gibbs," I sighed walking into the bullpen, "Is my brother here?"

"No," Gibbs said staring at me, "Something wrong?"

"I kind of messed up when I was talking to Darren and I am hoping Tim can fix it because I think he's the only one that can."

I watched as Gibbs gave me his full attention as soon as I said Darren's name. Oh, that was right, the team leader was Darren's Father. Huh. How could I have forgotten that?

Now that I thought about it while the two of them didn't really look alike I could see some similarities. At least in their body language. Sitting up straight, half smirking smiles, and looking unmoving when they were standing up were just a few things.

"Sarah?" Tim questioned walking out of the elevator with Tony and Ziva.

I opened my mouth to answer when I realized that I didn't exactly know who all knew about Darren and Tim. Instead I grabbed my brothers arm and lead him away from everyone.

"Sarah," Tim began.

"I messed up," I interrupted, "And I hurt Darren."

"What? How? What happened?"

"You need to talk to him. Tim, I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to. I just got upset and I didn't think, but I learned something."

Shaking my head I quickly explained what had happened during lunch. By the time I was done Tim looked an odd mixture of angry and worried before he sent me back to school. I hoped he was able to fix what had…What was happening with Darren.


	24. Chapter 24

"Hey, Timo-…" Darren started to say.

Before he could even get my name out I had him pinned to the kitchen counter my tongue pushing past his lips as my hands gripped his tightly. My mind was spinning so quickly I barely had time to register the slightly pain filled moan.

After Sarah had told me what had happened at lunch I had to do everything in my power to control myself. I never wanted to leave work more than I did at that moment in time.

I had run through so many different things in my head. Our past and future as a couple. What we had been like before we got together. How we would be like if we ever did break-up.

The more I thought the angrier I got. How could he believe that I was just going to leave him one day? Had I not shown him how much loved him? How much I wanted to be with him?

"Never," I growled pulling away from him.

"What?" Darren panted.

"Never say…Never think that again."

"Think wh-…Oh."

Darren's eyes widened almost comically when he figured out what was going on. As soon as that passed though I saw him try to bring up the wall I had torn down so many months ago.

It had taken me awhile, but the first time I saw Darren without his eyes guarded was almost as amazing a feeling as the first time he said that he loved me. I couldn't let us take a step back now.

"Yeah,  _oh,_ " I glared, _"_ Darren, do you even know what it felt like to hear what happened at lunch today?"

"Almost as bad as it felt to say?" Darren shrugged helplessly.

"If it hurt so much how could…How can you even think that?"

"Because it's true."

"True? How the hell is any of that true? I love you."

"I don't doubt that."

"Oh? And doubting that we'll be together for much longer is so much better?"

"Timothy, you and I both know what the future holds for us. Let's just make the best of what we have now."

I hated the tone Darren had picked up during this conversation. It was so…empty. Almost like he had already given up on everything that we had worked on to have this relationship.

Though with the way that he was talking he did sound like that as well. How had things gotten to the point where he thought that this was how everything was going to end?

I wasn't much of a fighter in any since of the word. As anyone. But I was also never one to lose something…Someone because I wasn't willing to try to do everything in my power.

Darren was trying to push me away. He had been keeping me at an arms length and I hadn't even realized it. Was I really that blind or was he just that good at hiding himself?

"No," I said staring into his eyes, "We need to talk about this."

"There's nothing to talk about," Darren answered pulling away from me.

"Nothing to talk about? You think I'm going to leave you."

"You will."

"Says who?"

Darren let out a frustrated sigh before glaring angrily at me. I don't know what I was supposed to think right now, but I knew that there was only two ways that this night was going to end. I was just praying that it wasn't with me single once more.

At that thought I moved quickly and pulled Darren into another kiss. This time I was hoping that I was able to pour all of my emotions into it. I'd do anything to get Darren to understand my point of view.

"I'm not going to leave you," I muttered against his lips.

"You deserve better," Darren shook his head.

"I deserve to be with the person that I love and that loves me back. Guess what? That's you."

Darren pulled away from me angrily and made his way into the living room. Jett was laying on the couch looking between the two of us. I wouldn't go as far as to say he looked scared, but it was pretty close.

That was how often Darren and I fought. We barely even raised our voices unless we were just messing around. We both knew that talking things out was better in the long run. Not this time.

"I'm not the good guy, Timothy," Darren glared.

I was almost too far gone into my emotions that I didn't notice that he had said my full name. Even though he was doing a good job of acting like it. Darren wasn't mad at me.

Part of me was surprised by that. I had thought that the man would be just as mad at me as he was with Sarah. Then it hit me. He truly believed that he was going to get his heart broken in the end.

I knew that was what he had told my sister, but to actually see it was something completely different. This wasn't something that I was going to be able to fix as easily as I had thought.

"I don't expect you to be," I responded feeling some of my anger wash away.

"No," Darren sighed, "Timothy, I'm a junkie. I…"

"Ex-junkie."

"No, Timothy. I  _am_  a junkie. I will be junkie for the rest of my life even if I never take another hit again. That's just who I am."

"But it's not the only thing! Darren, I didn't fall in love with you because you're a junkie. This is going to come out wrong, but I love you in spite of that."

Darren's glare turned towards the floor as he crossed his arms over his chest. I hadn't seen him act like this since we first started going out. He was trying to rebuild that wall.

I was watching as I lost the very person I had wanted to spend the rest of my life with right in front of my eyes and I had no idea what I was supposed to do to stop that from happening.

"Darren," I muttered, "Darren, I love you."

"I love you too, Timothy," Darren whispered back tears in his voice.

"Then what are you doing? Why are you pushing me away?"

"You deserve better."

Moving quickly I pulled Darren into what I hoped wasn't our last kiss. Everything was telling me that it could possible be just that and I wasn't ready for that to happen. Ever.

I loved Darren. I had thought that I had felt love before. With Abby, Erin, and a few other people, but I had been wrong. This was what it felt like to be in love with someone.

Darren was the person that I was going to spend the rest of my life with. It didn't matter if he was actually here or not or if we did break-up and I found someone else to be with. My heart would always belong to him.

"Darren," I said our lips still brushing against each other, "Your past…"

"Don't" Darren whimpered.

"Your past makes it hard for you to trust. To want to make a real connection. I won't pretend to know what that's like. But I also won't pretend that if you walk out that door at any point in time that I'm not going to be anything less than brokenhearted. Darren, can't you see how much you mean to me? Can't you see that I love you with everything that I am?"

"I want you to be happy."

"I am, Darren. I am more than happy. And that's because of you. Because of my junkie, thief, street smart boyfriend. Because of the man that I will one day ask to marry me. Please, when that day comes, please don't walk away because you think I deserve better. For me there is no better than you."

Darren let out a soft sob and pulled me into a tight embrace. Anyone could tell that my words had an affect on the younger man. I just wasn't sure how deep that affect went.

I was right when I thought that Darren wasn't ready for marriage. I hadn't realized how unready he was, but I knew he wasn't. And I was willing to wait for him until he was ready for that.

Pulling back from the embrace Darren pressed a gentle kiss to my lips. It was so soft and hopeful that I felt tears gather in my eyes. How had I missed something this big for so long?

I moved slowly and picked the man up before carrying him into our bedroom. Jett tried to follow, but one look had him going back to the couch to lay down for the rest of the night.

Once we were in our room I sat on the bed making sure Darren was straddling me. Our lips moved together gently. Both of us looking for something we had already found in each other.

"Timothy," Darren moaned rutting against me, "Take me."

Carding a hand through his hair I kept his lips pressed against mine. The heat growing steadily between us. Soon our hands were moving quickly over each other to pull our clothes off.

Darren arched slightly against me as I ran my hands down his back until they gripped his cheeks. A stuttered moan fell from his lips as his movement became all that more sure.

"Lube," Darren muttered reaching for the small tube.

Moaning into the kiss I continued to knead his cheeks gently hoping he realized what I wanted. As I felt one of Darren's hands reach behind him a slick finger circling his hole I realized he did.

Though our movements against each other were growing more passionate his fingers were steady. It took awhile before Darren finally had three fingers inside of himself.

"Timothy," Darren whimpered.

"Shh," I smiled kissing him gently, "You're in control. You decide what happens and when. You're in control."

Darren's eyes widened when his lust filled mind finally understood that I wasn't just talking about this situation. I was giving him control over the future of our relationship.

I watched as concern and confusion filled the mans eyes before he pulled away from me. My heart stopped at the idea that he was going to walk away from me completely at that moment.

His pale chest moved quickly as he searched my eyes for something. He must have found what he needed because his lips were pressed to mine as he lowered himself onto me.

Groaning loudly my hands rested on Darren's hips. My grip tightening almost painfully on him. Darren groaned back while lifting himself up and dropping down slowly, but deeply.

That was the pace that Darren wanted for our relationship. I could do that. I didn't need to put a ring on his finger or anything like that. I knew that we were happy together. No matter what.

"Timothy," Darren moaned his nails digging into my chest, "I… I love you."

"Love you…too," I panted out, "So…So much."

"One day. One day…Make me yours?"

As those words cautiously left his lips I felt my self-control slip away from me. Flipping us over I pushed into Darren roughly causing a scream of pleasure to leave his lips.

The two of us moved together quickly. Moans and soft screams coming from both of us as we worked our way towards a high. Anything to get to that blissful pleasure together.

"Timothy…Oh, please. Please! Timothy!" Darren screamed dragging me over the edge with him.

As we laid there, Darren's arms clasped tightly around me so I couldn't pull out, I felt like I was at peace once again. It was a feeling that I knew I'd only truly find with Darren.

"It might take awhile," Darren yawned sleepily.

"I'll wait," I smiled kissing his forehead as I rolled us onto our sides and pulled the blankets over us.

"A really long while."

"It'll be worth it."


	25. Chapter 25

"Hey Boss," Tim offered opening his front door, "Before you go in there just a fair warning. Answer Darren's questions and don't bother asking any of your own."

Looking at my agent I carefully walked into the house his words replaying in my mind. What exactly had he meant by that? Maybe I should have gone with a bottle of whiskey.

Three days ago I had informed my Father of Darren. He had wanted to rush down here the second I told him, but after reminding him of the store and saying Darren was a little nervous he waited.

Until tonight that was. Soon my Dad was going to be knocking on that door and I had hoped that Darren would be at least somewhat calm about all of this. from the warning I had thought wrong.

I followed McGee through their house looking around calmly. Everything seemed very peaceful. From the colors of the walls to the furniture. It was all designed to give whomever was there some sense of home.

With how McGee described Darren, the few times we talked, I couldn't say that I was surprised. I wasn't sure if I was the only one that saw it, but Darren was the type of person to want a family.

I could see it too. Both McGee and Darren would make excellent parents. Though if it was too early to think about them getting married in my mind it was way too early for kids.

Still I didn't stop my mind from wondering to the future. Kids running around the house laughing happily, toys scattering the floor. Just the thought made the already welcoming house feel warmer.

"Gibbs!" Darren interrupted, "Taste this."

Taking the fork from my sons hands I calmly took a bite. Darren had called yesterday and asked what Dad would want for dinner. In the end I told him some Chicken Cobonara would be fine.

Now that I was tasting the food though I knew how much time Darren and McGee had put into it. Honestly, I knew I should have expected that, but for some reason I hadn't been.

As soon as I swallowed the food Darren was asking question. In that moment I saw just how much this was affecting him. This whole situation was scaring my son just as much as it was scaring me.

The one difference was that I knew that nothing Darren did would cause Dad to dislike him. Dad didn't care that he was gay, he wouldn't care about his past either. He just wanted to know his grandson.

Still I answered Darren's questions as McGee set the table with a small smile. I did see a lot of the same personality traits between Darren and Abby. This was one of those times where they came glaringly obvious.

"Here, Boss," McGee smiled offering me a beer, "He's going to be like this for awhile."

"Is he like this a lot?" I asked staring at my son.

"No. Boss, Darren's terrified, but he's prideful and refusing to admit it. If he ever admits something is wrong take him seriously. Anyways, he can't do anything about the fear. He can take control over everything else. It's why there's three different pies and ice cream for dessert."

"I thought Darren couldn't cook."

"He can't. He can bake though. And he makes some of the most amazing desserts you'll ever have. How I'm not overweight is beyond me."

"He bakes that much?"

"Luckily no. It's usually only when he's stressed. He likes to say that he becomes the 'Perfect House Wife' when he's stressed. Baking and cleaning. You will never see this house a mess if Darren has any say in it."

Before I could reply back someone rang the doorbell. The house filled with a silence as my eyes darted to Darren. The man was standing in the middle of the kitchen his eyes widened in horror for a moment before he walked into the backyard.

McGee took a step towards his boyfriend only to stop and turn around and look at me. A small almost sad smile came to his lips as he motioned for me to follow Darren outside.

"Go," McGee stated softly.

"McGee," I started.

"He's your son, Gibbs and right now he needs to have a talk with his Dad. Boss, Darren never had a family. He doesn't know what is supposed to happen. What he's supposed to do and he's scared. You have to…You need to show him what being a Father is."

"He's twenty-seven years old."

"Doesn't matter how old he is. Darren needs his Father. And I'm sorry, but…If you can't do that then you and you Dad should go and don't expect him or I at work Monday."

My eyes moved quickly to McGee and saw him glaring slightly at me. I had only heard him use that tone once before. When we were investigating his sister so I knew he was serious about leaving.

I couldn't help but smile slightly at that thought. No matter how many times I told myself that Darren and McGee loved each other it was something else entirely to actually see it.

Ever since this started I found myself seconded guessing my judgment. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do with Darren, but McGee did have a point. He wanted a Father and that was me.

"Freaking out?" I questioned from the porch.

"A little," Darren replied never breaking his pacing, "What am I supposed to do here, Gibbs? Cause I have to tell you I suck when it comes to families."

"Seem to be doing good so far."

That got Darren to stop. He looked at me with such childlike confusion that I couldn't help but smile as I walked closer to him. Maybe remembering how to be a father wouldn't be as difficult as I thought.

"I've mentioned Kelly before," I said calmly.

"Yeah," Darren nodded confused.

"Well, as much as you remind me of Abby, and you are like her so don't argue, you remind me of her as well."

"I do?"

Nodding my head slightly I looked up at the stars my mind wondering to my wife and little girl. They would have loved having Darren be part of the family. Though I knew I wouldn't have him if they hadn't have died.

"Shannon once told me that when Kelly heard I was coming home after an assignment she would race around the house cleaning," I smiled slightly, "She wanted everything to be perfect for me. She wasn't old enough to understand…"

"Understand what?" Darren asked confused.

"I could have been coming back to no house at all. As long as my girls were there nothing else mattered."

Darren looked at the ground before giving me a shaky smile. He seemed to understand what I was saying, but I hoped that he truly took it and put the words into practice.

As we stood there in silence I let myself take a good look at my son. He was wearing a simple outfit. Black boots, black trousers, black button-up, shiny black vest, and a black tie. It was then that I remembered McGee's words.

Darren hated to get dressed like this, yet this is the only way I had ever seen him. Besides his work out clothing. He was trying to impress us for some reason and I didn't like that.

No matter what the man was wearing he was going to be my son and he needed to realize that. Hell, now that I thought about it I had never seen him with his piercings in either.

"What are you doing, Darren?" I shook my head.

"Standing here?" Darren replied confused.

"You hate ties and you're not wearing your piercings."

"Trying to look professional?"

"That a question? Darren, you've seen Abby. Go change."

Seeing Darren open his mouth to argue I turned around and made my way inside. This wasn't something I wanted to talk about. Darren needed to be himself around us and if that meant giving him a push than that's what I was going to do.

When I got into the house I noticed McGee and my Dad looking at a drawing on the wall. I could vaguely remember it as being one Darren showed me awhile back, but I couldn't say I was really paying attention that day.

"Hey Dad," I spoke walking up to them.

"Leroy," Dad smiled as we hugged, "Where's your boy?"

"Getting changed."

Dad nodded his head before going back to the artwork. I had to admit that he seemed completely comfortable being in the house of a grandson he never met talking to his boyfriend that happened to work for me.

"You must be Darren," Dad said turning to the doorway.

Turning towards the man in question I saw him standing there with a plain black T-shirt, black pants with chains hanging off of them, and the same black boots. His piercings were also back in place.

"I am," Darren answered shyly, "It's nice to meet you, Mr. Gibbs."

"None of that," Dad shrugged off before pulled Darren into a hug, "If you aren't ready to call me Grandpa yet Jackson works just fine. Welcome to the family, Darren."


	26. Chapter 26

"Jackson," Darren said in confusion when he opened the front door, "Umm…Hi?"

"Hello," I smiled, "I was hoping, since Leroy and Tim had gotten called in to work that you and I could have a day together?"

Darren continued to stare at me for a moment longer before nodded his head and opening the door further. Smiling back I stepped in only to be greeted by a dog growling softly.

"That's Jett," Darren supplied, "He spent the night at Timothy's sisters place. She actually just dropped him off."

Nodding my head I followed the younger man further into the house once again looking around. I had to admit that I loved how the house was decorated. Though I knew that was done mostly on Darren's part.

Tim had actually pointed that out when he was showing me around last night. I would have thought he was saying it with some kind of resentment, but the smile on his face showed a different story.

The house, though decorated by Darren, was theirs. It was their home and I couldn't help but feel happy seeing how much time and love was put into it. They had a good thing going.

When Leroy had first told me that I had a grandson I had no idea what I was supposed to think. I knew it wasn't his fault that some woman kept the pregnancy from him. Still it was a big shock.

Then he started to tell me a few things about Darren that he knew I would need to know so the conversation didn't stall His schooling, tidbits of his past, and lastly his sexuality.

Even now I can hear the guarded tone of my son when he told me that Darren was gay and I knew that if he had said it to my face I would have hit him. Thinking that something like that would be a problem was ridiculous.

After explaining that to him Leroy pointed out that Darren was seeing someone and I had met this person before. Timothy McGee. A smile had come to my lips when I thought of that young man.

In the short time that the team had been working on that case in Stillwater I found myself getting to know them a little. Knowing that Darren was with McGee was a good thing in my book.

"I was just working on a paper for my mythology class," Darren suddenly said when we were in the kitchen.

"Mythology?" I questioned sitting at the island, "You have to take that to get a degree in psychology?"

"No. I just love mythology. Well, history really. As long as I don't have to remember dates. Would you like something to drink?"

"Actually, I was hoping you and I could catch a quick lunch. I had been hoping to go to this little German place with Leroy, but since he's working…"

"Oh. Umm…Sure. I'd love to go with you, Jackson. Just let me…Ah."

"What?"

"I just realized I don't have a shirt on."

Seeing the blush come to my grandsons cheeks I couldn't help but start laughing. It had been a running joke last night between Tim and Darren that Darren was a forgetful person. Seemed he was right.

Though with Darren not having a shirt on I did get to see the impressive scar on his chest. Leroy had pointed out that he had to have a heart transplant, but it was something else to see the scar.

"Don't worry about it," I laughed, "It's not the first time I've seen a man without a shirt. Go get dressed and we can walk down."

Darren nodded his head quickly before going up the stairs. My mind started to wonder as I waited for the young man to come back causing a soft sigh to fall from my lips.

To my right I heard a soft noise only to turn and see Jett staring at me. It seemed like I wasn't the only one thinking. Though the dog might have a little more insight to everything that was going on.

"Okay," Darren said bounding down the stairs while slipping a leather jacket on, "Are you ready?"

"Of course," I smiled standing up, "Let's go."

The walk to the restaurant was a comfortable quiet though I think that mostly had to do with Darren's attention being on the world around. No, not the people or even the animals. He was looking at the different flowers.

I wasn't exactly sure what that was about, but I figured that if it was important than he would talk. Still, it did give me enough time to start thinking about what I needed to say.

It was last night that I noticed that Darren and Leroy don't really seem to be on the same page. Both of them wanted the same thing, but they had no idea what they were supposed to do to get it.

Now that was where I come in. I wasn't sure if Tim had tried to get them to talk, but if he did they didn't listen. Let's just hope Darren listened to a man he just met as his Grandpa.

"What kind of mythology was it?" I asked calmly.

"What?" Darren replied in confused.

"The paper you were writing. You said it was mythology."

"Oh, right. This paper was on Egyptian mythology. Honestly, I absolutely fell in love with the idea of mythology through a television show. I know, I know that's kind of stupid, but the character just made everything seem to amazing that I couldn't help it. That's part of why I took this course."

As Darren continued to talk about his paper I saw a smile bloom on his face. There was that passion that I had been told about. Tim was right. It was something amazing to see.

"Here we are," I interrupted hating to do so.

Still as much as I hated that I had to stop the man from talking I saw that the smile didn't leave his face. It seemed talking about something he was passionate about made all his fears wash away for a moment.

Soon we were sitting at a table having ordered our food. Darren was calmly smiling while looking around the restaurant. Which is when I decided to start trying to get him and my son on the same page.

"So, Darren," I calmly started, "Do you and Leroy do things like this?"

"Things like what?" Darren questioned in confusion.

"Go out to restaurants to talk."

"Oh. No, not really. We have done it, but I don't really think Gibbs liked it all that much."

"Why do you say that?"

Darren opened his mouth to start explaining only to have it fall shut again. Whatever was on the younger mans mind was something that had been plaguing him for awhile.

Right there that told me that this wasn't going to be the easy conversation that I had hoped for. No, Darren had been left to think and that thinking was getting him into trouble.

Truthfully I knew that the same thing was probably happening with my son. Leroy might not be a man a words, but that didn't mean that his brain ever shut off. No, if anything his brain was overworked.

Now though it was time for this old man to help his family get together. Over thinking was not going to get in my way and I wasn't going to stop until I saw some real progress.

"I don't know, Jackson," Darren sighed, "Maybe all of this was just a bad idea on my part."

"What do you mean?" I asked dreading the answer.

"Me just jumping into Gibbs life like this. I feel like I'm stirring up these painful memories for him and that this is just going to end up with him being even more hurt than he was before."

"Darren…"

"He lost his wife and daughter, Jackson, something no one can just get over, and now he finds out he has a son. It would have been better if no one had ever found out that…"

"Stop right there, Darren Hotchner. Your Father is not the most talkative person in the world. He never has been, but never, never doubt that he loves you. He's just as lost as you are and you both are so damn stubborn.

I know this isn't what you thought it would be. I know you probably dreamt of what it would be like if you ever did meet your Father. Well, I'm here to tell you that those were just dreams. You have your Father right in front of you and both of you need to stop beating around the bush and try for that relationship you both want so much. Do I make myself clear?"

Darren smiled softly at me before nodding his head. He might not be ready to call me Grandpa but I knew that he was going to listen to me. Something I was internally grateful for.

I didn't expect for this to be the last time someone had to give Darren a little push and if I was right someone was going to have to give Leroy one as well. That didn't mean that we were going to stop.

No, my family had been torn apart all those years ago and now we had a chance once more. Nothing was going to stop me from making sure that everything was done to give them a fighting chance.

"Yes, sir," Darren smiled, "I think I get it."


	27. Chapter 27

"Hello Ducky," Timothy smiled walking into the room, "Boss sent me to see if you have anything."

"Everyone else is busy?" I questioned with a smile.

"Yes. Why is it weird that I'm down here? I don't come down here alone often, do I?"

"No, my dear boy, I would say not."

Timothy nodded his head calmly while looking around like it was his first time again. But he was right. Either Jethro or Tony came down here alone. Rarely Ziva or himself.

I could not blame them for wanting to stay away, but it was still nice for them to come and visit. I did truly like seeing someone living and since Jimmy was at a doctors appointment today.

As I looked at young Timothy I let my mind wonder for a moment. I knew that he was aware the I knew of his and Darren's relationship, but did he know I knew about Darren's Father?

No, I doubted the Jethro would tell anyone about the conversation that he and I had. That meant that I was going to be the first one to take a step. It was a good thing I was used to that.

"Tell me, Timothy," I said taking a step towards him, "Has it changed?"

"Has what changed?" Timothy asked in confusion.

"You're relationship with Darren or Jethro since the discovery of their kinship?"

Timothy's eyes widened slightly before he looked around again. I don't know why they thought it had to be kept such a big secret, but that was a problem for a different time.

Right now I needed to see how Timothy was doing. Of course it would be very simple to think that this was just effecting Darren and Jethro, but I was sure that Timothy had quite a shock himself.

"I…Umm…" Timothy stuttered taking a step back, "I don't know what you…"

"Timothy," I interrupted, "Jethro told me. I simply want to see how you are doing with this change."

"It's not really a big change for me."

"Isn't it? I would think learning your boss of, how many years, is the father of your boyfriend would be quite a shock."

My words seemed to click something in Timothy's head because soon his eyebrows knitted together in concentration. Like he had truly never thought about this before.

Though that did make sense. The man before me was never really one to think about himself. He always put himself on the backburner and, as noble as he thought that was, I knew it could do a lot of damage.

No, he needed to see that things were not just changing for Darren and Jethro, but himself as well. A change that if he didn't start to face was going to end badly for everyone involved.

"I haven't really thought of it before," Timothy shrugged.

"Why not?" I asked cocking an eyebrow.

"Because this isn't about me. It's about Darren and Gibbs. Neither of them…"

"No, Timothy. It is about you as well. God forbid that something happens to you on the job it is going to affect everyone. That is a given. It will hurt Jethro, but now that is different."

"How so?"

Seeing Timothy's curious nature come forward I decided to see just how much I could get out of him. While Darren is Timothy's boyfriend and Gibbs son that did not mean I trusted him just yet.

This was my family we were talking about and I was going to protect them. Though this time I could only hope that I had nothing to protect them from. I could not stand seeing both Timothy and Jethro brokenhearted.

"Do you ever see yourself marrying Darren in the future?" I said calmly hoping he answered my questions.

"Yeah, one day I hope we'll get married," Timothy nodded, "He's nowhere near ready for that."

"Are you ready?"

"I've been ready to get married since I knew was marriage was, Ducky. It's just who I am. Darren knows this. But I know him. He's not ready for that kind of thing yet. He's scared and he says he's not good enough. Part of me hates him for that. For even thinking that. I can't believe he can't see it, Ducky.

But I know…I know that him thinking that will change. He's going to be ready for marriage one day. He says so himself. He just needs a little more time and as much as I love the thought of marriage it means nothing as long as I get to be with him. I love him, Ducky. I really, really do."

Listening to Timothy talk about his boyfriend like this was beautiful. Anyone that knew anything about the young man knew how deeply he felt things. He deserved to be with someone who loved him.

Now I don't doubt that Darren loves him. I could see it whenever they looked at each other. I simply didn't trust the man as of yet. If what Timothy was saying was true though I would have a long time to get to know him.

"Even without that ring though you are dating Jethro's son," I stated getting my thoughts back, "You are basically becoming his son-in-law as everything continues to develop."

"I guess," Timothy agreed with a slight nod of his head, "That's just a weird thought."

"Why is that weird?"

"Well, I have always thought of Gibbs as a Father figure, since I started here really. It's hard not to. I guess, this will just give that a real title. I don't really see anything changing."

"What if you have to choose?"

A troubled look came onto Timothy's face, but I could see the determination on it. While he hadn't thought about what changes were going to come for him he had thought about that.

"Gibbs already knows I'll pick Darren," Timothy stated confidently, "I love this job and I love the team, but I won't lose the man I love if I have anything to say about it. Do you know what happened when we told Darren he was his Father? Darren quit talking to me. If Darren chooses to walk away I'll leave him alone, but I'm not going to leave him."

"You love him very much," I smiled.

"More than I thought I ever could. Ducky, he's the best thing that's ever happened to me. I couldn't be happier when I'm with him. And if you're right. If Gibbs being Darren's Father is going to change things for me than I deal with that. Because I'm not leaving."

Smiling at the agent I turned towards the body and started to tell him what I had found. I didn't believe that my question had been answered just yet, but I knew that Timothy was right. Whatever happened he could handle.

I could hardly believe that this was the same man that started working with us all those years ago. He had grown into such a fine young man and I couldn't help but be proud of him.

He did deserve to have the love that he has found and I knew that while Darren didn't believe he was good enough yet it would only be a matter of time. Timothy would make sure of that.

While I wasn't quite ready to bring Darren into our little family I was getting there myself. Timothy might feel deeply, but after everything he's been through he was not one to give his heart away to just anyone.

No, Darren was a special person to have caught our Timothy. He deserved to have a chance and I was going to give him one. I simply needed to get Jethro to tell the team who Darren was.

As I waved good-bye to Timothy I wondered if I should start creating a plan. When it came to family it was no small feat to get Jethro to take a step closer to the person.

From what Timothy had said it was not something that Darren was very used to either. Still, I could not allow them to skirt around each other while everyone wondered where they stood.

That did not mean that I had to step in. Everyone that knew the situation seemed to want Jethro and Darren to have a relationship, but at the same that all of use knew them.

We knew that if we continued to push and poke at the two men one, if not both, of them were going to turn around swinging. If they did that all of our progress would be for not.

It seemed that I was going to have to take a step back and allow everything to happen in its own time. At least for awhile. If there was no progress to be made by the end of the month.

Jethro and Darren deserved to have a family and Timothy deserved to be part of that family. And, if I was right, that was exactly what was going to happen. At least if I had anything to say about it.

Truly I wanted to continue to see that smile on Timothy's face. He was in love and he was not afraid of that love. Something I was more than happy about especially knowing his past relationships.

"He is quite smitten, isn't he, my friend?" I asked looking down at our victim, "It is a beautiful thing to see."


	28. Chapter 28

"Thank you again, Ziva," Palmer repeated, "Breena is going to love this."

I smiled at my friends enthusiasm. It was not three hours ago that the man had asked me for help picking out a present for Breena. Normally he would go to Abby, but since he knew how much I loved cooking he asked me.

This is how we ended up shopping for ingredients for the dinner I promised to help my friend. It was good to see the man with the smile on his face as he spoke of Breena.

"Hey, it's McGee and Darren," Palmer smiled pointing towards a restaurant window, "When do you think they'll tell us?"

"Tell us what?" I questioned calmly.

"That they're dating. I mean, you did…You did know that, right?"

Turning towards the couple I found myself looking at them in a new light. If what Palmer said was correct than a lot of things would be explained. Though I had to wonder why I had not thought it before.

Darren and McGee made quite a good looking couple. McGee was slightly taller than Darren which, at the moment, allowed the younger man to lean against his chest in the booth seat.

McGee's arm was wrapped around Darren's waist his hand cradling his hip. Darren's head was resting slightly on McGee's shoulder while he played with McGee's other hand on the table.

It looked as if the two of them were waiting for their food to arrive. Both of them so at ease with matching smiles on their lips. This was something that they had done many times before.

How had I not seen it before? The comfort that McGee held whenever Darren was around. The sarcastic quips that seemed to flow without a thought. Darren's need to be by McGee whenever he could.

Yes, it was obvious now that the two of them were together. How long was still a mystery. As was why they had not bothered to tell anyone. Unless they had simply yet to tell Palmer and myself.

It is not a difficult thing to think. In a work place environment, especially one associated closely with any military, the outlook on homosexuality was not a good one for anyone.

I knew that the team would have no problems with either Darren or McGee when they did finally tell us, and yes, I knew that they would tell us. That did not mean that something in their pasts were not keeping the announcement at bay.

If I remembered correctly McGee came from a military background. While he did not talk much about his family, past, or personal life in general, I could tell that something had happened.

Part of me had hoped that I would be able to figure out Darren as quickly as I did everyone else, but the man was smart. He knew how to avoid questions. How to joke around. And he never let information go unless he wanted to.

In the back of my mind I told myself that he would make a good agent because of this, but there were little things that I saw that made me rethink it. The first one being his lack of desire to be one.

"Do you think we should say 'hi'?" Palmer asked thoughtfully, "I mean, they look comfortable, but maybe we should…"

"Yes?" I said when he did not finish his statement.

"Well, Darren's new to us and McGee obviously wasn't…isn't ready to tell everyone, but if they're together that make Darren part of our little group, right? So wouldn't it make sense for us to give them a little push? To show them that we're fine with them being together? You are okay with them being together…Right?"

Turning towards the man I saw the usual shy, flustered look on his face, but the deeper I looked into his eyes the more I saw something that rarely came forth in him. Protectiveness.

I knew that Palmer was closest to McGee, Abby, and Ducky. Though there was rarely a case when the man had to show any signs of that closeness. Let alone one of protection.

Admittedly it was a good look on his face. I had no doubt in my mind that one day the man before me was going to make a wonderful father. I could not wait to see that day come.

"Let us go," I nodded walking towards the restaurant.

Palmer smiled happily when I did that the protectiveness washing away. He knew that I would do nothing to harm my friends. He simply needed someone to confirm that thought for him.

"Ziva," McGee gasped pulled away from Darren, "Palmer…Umm…What are…What are you guys doing here?"

"We saw you through the window," I answered carefully.

"How much did you see?"

"Enough. Why did you not tell us?"

Darren's eyes flickered toward McGee for a moment before looking at the table. It was almost as if Darren was afraid of the answer. That was possibly part of why they did not tell us.

When Darren's eyes left McGee I watched McGee look over at the younger man. I was not the only one that seemed to know what was going on in his mind because McGee moved back over and tugged Darren to him.

"My own stupidity," McGee smiled, "So, now everyone knows?"

"I was the last to know," I nodded, "That does not happen very often."

"Sorry about that. We didn't really try to tell anyone. Well, minus Abby, but you saw what happened. Everyone else just kind of figured it out for themselves and confronted us. If you hadn't seen us we would have told you soon though."

"Actually, I was the only one that did not know. Jimmy did."

A small blush came to the mans cheeks when I pointed this out. He cleared his throat slightly ready to brush off my words but before he got a chance a waitress placed some food on the table.

"Would you like me to get some menus?" she asked with a smile.

"No, thank you," I replied standing up, "We were leaving. Goodnight, McGee, Darren."

"Night Ziva," Darren smiled while picking up a fry, "I'm glad you guys know now."

"Me too, my friend. Me too."


	29. Chapter 29

"You're thinking too loudly, Timothy," Darren sighed as got into the car, "What's up?"

Looking over at the younger man I watched him take a sip of his tea while fiddling with his tie. Even after all this time he still thought he had to wear professional clothing. Though I had to admit he did look cute.

Well, Darren always looked cute or handsome or sexy or just plain beautiful to me. Today seemed different though. Like everything was falling into place and nothing bad could change that.

"I've never been out before," I smiled.

"Out?" Darren questioned confused.

"As bi. After everything with my family I never actually thought I'd do it again. And now I have. I couldn't be happier."

Darren smiled happily at me when I said that. I knew there were still doubts in the mans mind, but slowly I was getting past all of those and I wasn't going to stop until I did.

Seeing that smile though it made me feel a little devilish. I moved quickly threading a hand in Darren's hair and pulling him in for a quick kiss. It wasn't really anything, but it felt amazing doing it.

The smile grew on the mans lips as his nuzzled into my hand before pulling away fully. I was right. Today was going to be a good day. I couldn't wait to see what continued to happen.

"Sorry," I shrugged, "A little possessive."

"Hmm," Darren sounded looking around.

"What?"

"Oh, just wondering when the soundtrack to Mamma Mia was supposed to start playing."

"Possessiveness. My vice."

"Maybe, but you don't smoke."

"Does that make you Sophie?"

Darren opened his mouth to say something as I pulled into my parking spot. I waited a second, but the man simply climbed out of the car and made his way inside of the building.

Shrugging to myself I quickly followed him. As we got into the elevator I saw Darren's smile turn into a smirk, but his eyes never looked away from the doors that were now opening to let another agent on.

My mind was working quickly trying to figure out what was going on in Darren's mind, something I should have known better than trying to do by now, but I came up blank.

"Unsatisfied," Darren sang into my ear low enough the other person couldn't hear, "I skip my pride. I beg you dear."

My breath caught when he sang that, but I kept still until the doors opened again and the agent walked out. Once the doors were closed and we were alone I turned around and glared slightly.

"No nice," I growled.

"Never claimed to be," Darren grinned, "So, you're out for the first time. How does that make you feel?"

"Are you asking as my boyfriend or a psychologist?"

Darren let out a soft scoff as the doors opened once more on our level. Smirking to myself I walked towards my desk leaving Darren in the elevator nodding to Ziva and Tony as I went.

"Well," Darren started in a fake Austrian accent, "Does is interesting. No? How does this make you feel, Timothy?"

Rolling my eyes I resisted the urge to glare at the younger man once more. I did not feel the need to not glare at Tony when he started laughing at Darren and myself though.

Darren pouted slightly before sitting on the floor by my desk. For a few minutes it was quiet everyone simply working on the case. Trying to find anything that would help us solve the murder.

At least it was until Darren started to hum to himself. That was nothing new. Everyone had learned that Darren hated the quiet with a passion. He never said why, but if it was too quiet for too long Darren got shaky.

I took a second to figure out what song he was humming when it hit me. The song from Mamma Mia 'Lay All Your Love On Me'. Of course that was the song that Darren decided to hum. From the smile he knew it too.

"Got a suspect," Gibbs voiced making everyone jump, "Tony, Ziva, get him."

Tony and Ziva nodded their heads and quickly grabbed their gear before leaving. Gibbs took a seat as his desk sipping from his ever present coffee cup, but my eyes focused on Darren who was staring at Gibbs.

"You're going to interview him," Darren stated.

"Yup," Gibbs nodded not looking away from a file in front of him.

"Can I watch? From observation?"

Gibbs finally looked up and stared at Darren. The wheels in his head were turning and if it was anyone else I wouldn't bother to try and figure it out, but this was Darren we were talking about.

Though I knew that Gibbs loved Darren I also knew that neither of them were really talking yet. I don't know what they were waiting for, but I hoped that whatever it was came soon.

This whole thing was tearing Darren apart though he was trying not to show it. By Gibbs not doing anything he was making Darren believe something I did my best to stop. That he wasn't worth it.

That was the thing I had the most difficulty with. Mostly because Darren never let me know where that feeling came from. It was just something that he refused to talk about in any way, shape or form.

His abandonment issues, his need for everything to be organized a specific way. I knew all of that, but never why he thought himself unworthy. No matter how many times I tried.

"Fine," Gibbs shrugged.

Darren smiled in thanks and went back to his research. All too soon, in my opinion at least, everyone was in the observation room watching Gibbs stare down at a boy no older than fourteen named Chris Cho.

Tony, Ziva, and I were trying to decide how Gibbs was going to talk to the kid while Darren was being uncharacteristically quiet. Though I did notice that Darren's eyes never left the boys face.

As Gibbs began to talk I realized something that rarely happened. Gibbs wasn't going to be able to break this kid. Not because he wasn't hiding something, I was sure he was, but whatever he was hiding made him that afraid.

Gibbs seemed to get the same idea after about five minutes. As soon as Gibbs opened the door to leave Darren was there talking quietly. I couldn't hear the words from the observation room, but a reluctant Gibbs let Darren into the interrogation room.

"Another cop," Chris sneered.

"Cop?" Darren questioned looking down at himself, "Okay, that's it. I'm done looking professional."

"Wait, you're not a cop?"

"No, the profession I'm going into is a hell of a lot more feared."

"What's that?"

"Psychology."

The boy scoffed softly but I could see the amusement in his eyes. Darren had that affect on people. Though now I just had to see why he thought it was important to talk to the kid.

"So," Darren sighed sitting across from him, "How long?"

"How long what?" Chris rolled his eyes.

"Have you been in the system?"

"Read my file, Doctor?"

"Still a student and no. I haven't. I just know the type."

"Type?"

"Yeah. Big attitudes to cover even big scars. Hatred of authority. Will do anything they can to make sure everything is as far away from them as possible because they've been hurt so many times."

"What's your point?"

Darren sighed softly his eyes moving to Gibbs then to the window. I could see the distress clear on his face before he looked back at Chris. What was going on in that mans mind?

"How long?" Darren asked lowering his voice, "How long were you in the system before you got placed in an abusive house?"

"I don't need to be shrinked," Chris growled.

"I told you my profession. But that's not what I'm doing here."

"Then why are you here?"

"Because I know that you're protecting someone. Okay, maybe protecting is the wrong word. You're not doing it out of love. You're protecting them out of fear."

Chris didn't answer for a moment. In fact, it looked like he was about to demand that Darren leave the room completely. But there was something that was making him stay quiet.

"It started off nice," Darren continued after a moment, "Like the other houses. Nothing really special. The change came sudden. A hurtful, degrading comment. A hit. A person sneaking into your bedroom while you were sleeping or into the bathroom when you were showering.

You freeze and before you can even begin to think about being angry they're on you. The pain, no matter which one, gets worse and worse until you're unsure whether or not you're even breathing anymore. And when it finally stops you wish you weren't.

Somehow in your mind you start to blame yourself. You wonder if this…If this is why your parents left you. To be punished. You wonder what you did to deserve this. The thoughts dig deep into your heart until, no matter how much you fight or how many times someone points out that what they did was wrong, you don't…Can't believe them.

Then it starts again. Maybe with the same people. Maybe with a new family. You quit trusting anyone. You fight whenever you can just to make sure no one notices what you think those people saw. Soon you're left alone. Never staying in one house for more than a few weeks. Maybe two months if they're lucky.

You're alone and you think that's how you think it's supposed to be."

As Darren's voice trailed off I felt like I was going to be sick. That's what he had been hiding? That's why he thought he wasn't worthy? How could anyone do that to a child?

"You know?" Chris asked his eyes wide.

"My second house," Darren nodded.

"What happened? How'd you get out?"

"I…I didn't."

My heart stopped when I heard that. No, Darren always pointed out that after the first time he got hurt, however he got hurt he never told me, he left. He had left that house, right?

"What happened?" Chris questioned leaning forward.

"My foster brother," Darren shook his head, "He was fifteen. I was six. Let's just say, when I figured out I was gay I was a little…Self-destructive."

"How long?"

"Six months. You?"

"Foster mother. Nothing…Like that. Just hitting and talking mostly."

"Still scary. Listen, I know that you're scared of her. You think that she can get to you no matter what. That she's in control. That's a lie. We can help you. But you need to talk to us. You need to tell us what you know."

Silence filled the small room and for a moment I thought that Chris was going to refuse. Then his hand shakily reached towards Darren. Instantly Darren linked their hands giving a small encouraging squeeze.

Soon Chris was telling Gibbs everything that had happened. Darren was right. Chris had known who the perp was. The foster mother was the person that we had been looking for.

When Chris finally finished silent tears were streaming down his face. Moving slowly Darren stood up and allowed the teenager to hug him tightly. His face burying itself into Darren's chest as sobbed racked his body.

Gibbs slowly stood up and left the interrogation room while Ziva, Tony, and the other agent left observation. No one bothered to try to get me to move. I wasn't going to leave until Darren did.

"It's okay," Darren soothed rubbing Chris's back while staring at me, "It's okay."


	30. Chapter 30

"Timothy," Darren almost begged when we walked into our home, "Please, talk to me."

Shaking my head slightly I looked down at Jett and saw the dog staring up at me with a wide grin. How was it possible for him to look so happy after everything that happened today?

No, that wasn't even one of the questions I needed answered. Jett had no idea what had happened. I needed to know how today had gone so wrong when the beginning had been gone so well.

All day I had been trying to get my mind to work. To try to wrap my head around what had been said. My mind was just moving too quickly for me to even begin to do that.

And I hadn't been able to say a word to anyone since the interrogation began. Mostly because I knew that if I opened my mouth I would lose all of the food that I had eaten that day.

Surprisingly enough though I wasn't the only one not talking. It wasn't until we got in the car after work that Darren even attempted to talk to me. In the ten minute ride Darren had tried everything to get me to talk, but I just couldn't.

Why hadn't Darren talked to me before? I knew…Of course I had known that Darren had been abused in his past. He didn't have nightmares for no reason, but I hadn't known the details before.

All of it just made me feel sicker than I thought I could ever feel. I had seen abuse cases in the past. Had to face the victims and the abusers. I could deal with all of that though.

Now the person that had been abused was my boyfriend and I had no idea what I was supposed to do or say to the younger man. How was I supposed to make something like this better?

"Timothy," Darren spoke defeated, "I get it. I'll just…"

Hearing that tone I realized rather quickly what the man was thinking. I spun around and caught him by the arm before he could walk out of the room. Darren walking away wasn't going to help anything.

I didn't know how everything had gone so wrong. I had just wanted some time to think, but I knew that wasn't what Darren needed. Still, I wanted to figure out what was going on in my head.

Of course this changed things some, but…Wait, did it really change anything? Darren was still the same person he was before. All that happened was me knowing what his nightmares were about.

So this was a little weird and I couldn't say that I wasn't going to be a little confused about it. At the end of the day though I still loved Darren and I wasn't going to let him walk away or walk away myself.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, "Darren, I'm so sorry."

"Not your fault," Darren sighed with a shrug.

"Doesn't make me feel any better. Why didn't…Why didn't you tell me before? Is that what the nightmares are about?"

"Yeah, that's what they're about. As for not telling you…Timothy, I wanted to. I wanted to tell you so many times. When I woke up from the nightmares or the urge for drugs came. I wanted to tell you."

"Why didn't you then?"

"Because I don't want it to be real. I don't want to be a victim. I keep hoping that all of it was just one big nightmare. That if I…If I pretend it didn't happen then everything will be fine."

"Darren…"

When I said his name Darren moved quickly and wrapped his arms around me tightly. He made soft calming noises as his hands slowly started to knead them into my back.

Sighing I rested my head on his shoulder and thought that I should be the one that was comforting Darren, but I didn't try to move away from him until I felt myself calm down enough.

"You were molested," I stated hating myself for having to.

"I was," Darren agreed.

"Did you ever tell anyone?"

"No, I blamed myself. I didn't know that it wasn't my fault until started taking psychology classes. I was just…I was so scared. That he would come back. That I would turn into him. When I figured out I was gay all I wanted to do was kill myself."

"And now?"

"I still have nightmares, not as many as before, and I still want drugs, not as much as before, but it's different now."

"Is it?"

"Yes, now I have you, Timothy. I know I have some issues still, but I'm…I am getting better. I really am. Now, I have to know."

Staring at Darren I waited for him to finish his only to see him trying to build a wall. Was what he wanted to know that bad? Did he really think that anything he said was going to change anything?

Whatever he was going to say he thought was horrible. He thought that I was going to leave or he…Or he wanted me to leave. He wanted to protect me from whatever was coming?

He was right in a way. If it wasn't for him I would never be in this situation, but I knew that in the end I'd deal with this a hundred times over if it meant him and I being together.

In the end though this brought up a set of questions that I never thought I'd have to ask myself. Ones that I hoped would never have to ask Darren. There was no way around it though.

"Can you?" Darren questioned stepping away from me, "Can you handle knowing this?"

"Of course," I answered pulling him into a hug, "I'm not leaving you, Darren. No matter what. I guess, I'm just a little worried."

"What? Why would you…Wait, do you think that I rushed into this relationship or that you somehow persuaded me into this? Because if you do just stop right there. I love you, Timothy. More than I ever thought I could love anyone. Yes, we fight sometimes. Yes, I still have nightmares. But that doesn't change the fact that I love you."

"Then why can't you see how much I love you?"

Darren opened his mouth to answer when my words hit him. Both of us knew that he thought he wasn't good enough for me, but what I said was different than before. Now I knew why he thought that.

"Timothy," Darren shook his head, "I know you love me."

"But you still think that you're not good enough," I interrupted, "You still…You admitted that you think that this will end."

"I don't want that though! I want to be enough for you and I want that future I know you have your heart set on. Marriage and kids. I do want that."

"Yet you won't let yourself have it."

"Because I don't deserve it!"

"You deserve the world, Darren. I'm willing to give you everything I have and more before I love you. I know that you are the person that I'm meant to be with. I know that my heart will break if you ever think of leaving me. I know that I will wait for you to be ready for that future we want.

But you have to stop. You have to see that this isn't about me or about you. It's about us. About what we want. Tell me that you're at least trying to see it my way. Tell me that you want to work to try to make all of this better."

"I'm damaged, Timothy."

Sighing I placed a hand on the back of Darren's neck and pulled him into a deep kiss. I had tried to use words to get through that thick skull of Darren's but that just didn't work.

Now I had to try to push everything that I was feeling into this one kiss. Mostly because if anything more happened tonight I wanted Darren to be in control. I knew there was no way I could be.

"You can heal, Darren," I muttered against his lips, "Let me help you heal."

Darren stared into my eyes for a moment before his lips pressed against mine gently. Sighing once more I let my eyes close soaking in the comfort Darren was offering me.

His hand treaded in my hair keeping me against him as he moved backwards until we were sitting on the couch. He broke the kiss long enough to move us around so he was laying on top of me.

He kept the kiss gentle before once again breaking it and resting his head on my chest. Moving slowly Darren rested a hand over my heart and pressing soft, loving kisses over it.

"I love you, Timothy," Darren whispered, "This is the place that I feel the safest and I never want to leave it."

"I never want you to leave," I smiled, "Never want to let you leave."

"Then don't let me."

Carding a hand through Darren's hair I kissed his forehead feeling more at peace than I thought I could today. There was just one thing that I still needed to do Something I needed Darren to do.

"Darren, I'm sorry for having to do this," I sighed.

"Do what?" Darren asked confused.

"Asking you to talk to Gibbs. Tell him the guys name. Make sure this isn't happening to someone else. Please."


	31. Chapter 31

"Are you sure about this, Gibbs?" Darren asked looking around the conference room.

It had been two days since the interrogation and five minutes since Darren came to me saying that he was willing to talk about what happened to him. Though he admitted that he was doing it for McGee.

Now I had to do the one thing I never thought I'd have to do. I had to listen to my son explain how he was abused as I child. Something I couldn't help but blame myself for.

If I had been told about Darren I would never have let him go into the system and none of this would have happened. Just how different would Darren be though if I had raised him?

That was something that I couldn't stop thinking about. Would he still be getting a degree in psychology? Would he still be dating McGee? Would he have even come out of the closet to me?

I had spent all night thinking about those things. Dreamt of what it would have been like to raise a child after everything that happened. No, I didn't doubt that I would be there for Darren I just couldn't stop thinking.

Darren wasn't as happy as he could be. The abuse, drug use, and more hanging over his head of course he wasn't happy. But when I saw him look at McGee I knew that he was in love.

Would that have happened if I had raised Darren? The two of them would have met through me. Both of them would know that I consider McGee my son. More likely than not they wouldn't have gotten together. I hated that thought.

"You're the one talking," I shrugged.

"You're the one listening," Darren easily replied, "That can be just as painful."

Staring at Darren I watched him stare back before sighing and looking at the table. He looked like he wasn't ready to do this. He wasn't going to stop now though. Not when he told McGee he would.

"Tell me what happened," I spoke calmly.

"It had been a week since I had been put in that house," Darren sighed, "The parents weren't all that bad. I don't remember what the parents did. The guy that…The guy that hurt me was their biological son. He was really nice at first. Well, really nice through out it all. He always played games with me and he even gave me this keychain.

I ended up sharing his room with him. In a different bed of course. The bigger one now that I think about that. I hadn't really thought about that, but the bed was so roomy that I felt like I was being swallowed by it and I remember him looking like he was going to fall out of his.

One night the parents were gone. They had…Well, they'd decided…I can't remember why they weren't there, but they weren't. The guy asked me if I wanted to play a new game. He led me back to our room and we got in bed and we…I mean he… We…"

Darren stuttered to a stop his hands clenching into fists as a sigh fell from his lips his eyes darting around the room. I waited a moment for him to start talking again, but he didn't.

"Can I…" Darren started, "Can I talk to Timothy? Please?"

Nodding my head I slowly stood up and started to make my way towards the door only to look back. Darren looked like he was about to break and I wanted nothing more than to comfort him.

I couldn't do that though. If I tried to do something like that too soon or when Darren was vulnerable I knew that I would end up making things worse. No, I had to stand back and watch.

Why was I waiting so long to get to know my son? I knew that I wanted to get to know him, but I just didn't know what I was supposed to do. I was going to need to figure that out soon.

Sighing I turned around and I left the room. I was going to be no help to Darren right now and, as much as I hated that, I knew that the only thing I could do was get his boyfriend.

"Boss," McGee said from his spot against the rails.

"Go talk to him," I answered motioning towards the door, "We'll talk in an hour."

McGee nodded his head quickly and practically ran into the conference room. I knew that Darren and McGee probably didn't need all of that time, but I needed time myself.

Hearing Darren talk made everything all that more real. I knew those type of people were out there. I had faced down with a couple of them and I had talked to their victims.

This was the first time that I actually had known the victim. Not only did I know them, but he was my son. For some reason that just made everything all the more real and I had to do something.

I started to make my way towards the elevator when I noticed that the door didn't close all the way. Moving to close the door I reached towards it only to look inside and see McGee and Darren.

I was too far away to hear what was being said, but I saw McGee staring into Darren's eyes talking softly tears in his eyes though I could tell he was trying to hold them back. Then I looked over at Darren.

The younger man was staring at McGee's chest shaking his head slowly. It was almost like he was denying everything that was going on. Tears were slowly dripping down his face.

McGee let out a soft sigh before pulling Darren into a hug while placing a kiss to his forehead. The green eyes stayed open as he silently held Darren. Seemed like there were no words he could say.

Shaking my head at the situation I closed the door as quietly as I could. Right now I needed to talk to Ducky. He knew most of the situation and was the one trusted not to tell anyone about the abuse.

"Ducky," I spoke walking into autopsy.

"Jethro," Ducky smiled, "Do we have a case?"

"Nope."

"Then what is it?"

"Where's Palmer?"

"Mr. Palmer went to get lunch for the two of us. I have been craving Pierogies and there is this lovely restaurant that serves them with this…"

"Ducky, when will he be back?"

"Not for another half hour. Why? Is something wrong?"

Looking around autopsy I made sure that no one else was in there, at least no one living, and that Abby wasn't using her camera thing to listen in. No one else needed to know what I was about to say.

Darren didn't need that. And as much as I knew that my team would never purposefully use this information to hurt Darren I also knew what happened when someone spoke in anger.

Because of that I figured that the less people that knew the easier that would be to avoid. Though if I was right in the end no matter what at some point in time more people would have to know.

"Jethro," Ducky called.

"Darren was abused," I said before he could ask anything else.

I quickly explained everything to the older man hoping that he had something to say about all of this. At least I hoped that there was some quote by some person long since dead that could help.

When I finished telling him everything I waited for him to speak. Though for one of only a handful of times the man seemed incapable of speech. I knew the situation was bad, but to be that bad? No, this was something else.

"Listen to me very closely, Jethro," Ducky spoke his voice the most serious I'd ever heard, "That boy has never known what a family is about. At least, not for very long. Not until he met our Timothy and that man has helped Darren more than either of us could ever imagine. He gave Darren love, a home, a family.

Now, in front of me, is that boys father. Both of which know that he is his father. It is horrible what happened to him and what happened to you. And I'm going to say this once so listen closely."

Ducky moved closer to me until we were toe to toe and stared into my eyes. I didn't even have time to think before his hand shot up and hit the back of my head for the first time.

"Grow up and help your son," Ducky almost growled, "Now."

I took a moment to stare at the M.E. before nodding my head. Leaving autopsy I moved quickly upstairs until I was back in front of the conference room door. Knocking on the door calmly I waited for an answer before going in.

McGee and Darren were sitting at the table now. Both of them had drinks in front of them, but theirs hands were linked together between them. They gave me a confused look before McGee looked at his cell phone.

"It's only been four-five minutes," McGee said confused.

"I know," I responded making my way towards them, "I just need one thing."

"What?" Darren asked.

"His name. Darren, I'm going to stop him. Make sure he doesn't do this to anyone else. But to do that I need his name."

"What if…"

"McGee and I will make sure he can't get to you. Trust me. And tell me his name."

"Jeff Christopherson."


	32. Chapter 32

"Abby," Darren nodded from the other side of my door.

"Darren," I responded in confusion, "Come in?"

Darren smiled slightly while walking past me in further into my living room. The two of us had decided that while we were friends with McGee it would be for the best to stay away from each other.

That had worked for the past few months and we figured that it would be like that for awhile. Never would I have thought that the man would actively seek me out for any reason. Unless…No, I'd get a call if McGee was hurt.

It wasn't that I didn't like Darren. Okay, that's exactly what it was. Part of me knew that in the end it was mostly because we were so alike and that we both loved McGee.

In the end though even I had to admit that Darren was better for him than I was. I couldn't be tied down. It just wasn't in my nature. It was in Darren's. At least that's what I thought. I didn't really know him all that well.

The two had been a couple for almost a year and a half and McGee would never stay in a relationship that long if he didn't see it going anywhere. No matter how much it broke his heart.

No, the two of them were going to be together for the long run. And I was happy about that. I wanted my friend to be happy. I could deal with not getting along with Darren as long as McGee was truly happy.

"No offence," I started, "But why are you here?"

"Because I can't go talk to Sarah since she has a paper due tomorrow," Darren spoke quickly, "Tony, Ziva, and Palmer wouldn't get it. And I can't talk to Gibbs or Ducky about this without it just being really awkward."

"Why wouldn't they get it?"

"Because they never dated Timothy. You have. I am. At least I think I am. Gah, that man! That stupid infuriating man!"

Hearing the frustration in Darren's voice I led him into my kitchen and pulled out some beers for the two of us. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do, but I wasn't going to turn the man away.

Darren was right. He and I had both dated McGee so we knew him differently than anyone else. If the man needed my help than that was exactly what I was going to do for him.

"Abby," Darren sighed, "You can't tell anyone what I'm about to tell you. Well, Timothy and Gibbs know, but no one else. Okay?"

"Okay," I nodded seriously.

"I was abused as a kid. Molested."

Gasping softly I moved quickly and pulled Darren into a hug. I don't care how much I disliked a person no one deserved that. But, what did that have to do with McGee?

Darren let out a sigh and let his head rest against my shoulder. His whole body seemed to deflate for a moment. He probably had been talking about it more than he wanted to if Gibbs and McGee knew.

Gibbs would have had him tell him everything so he could find the man and make sure he was put away. That would be where Gibbs and Darren had been all day about a week ago.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

"Me too," Darren sighed once more, "I wish I never told anyone."

"Why?"

"Timothy…He'll barely look at me now. He stays on his side of the bed. He pulls back when I go to kiss him. He's disgusted with me now."

"I'm sure that's not true."

"Abby, he hasn't even told me he loved me since he found out."

The frustration in his voice slowly turned to sadness and I held the man tighter. I knew what McGee was doing, but how could he not see how much he was hurting Darren in the process?

Right now Darren needed someone and the one person that he thought he could lean on what pulling away. And why? Because he was afraid that he was going to hurt Darren in a different way.

Of course he thought that. It wasn't that hard to figure out. Darren had been molested and most victims usually didn't like to be touched after something like that for awhile at least.

Listening to what Darren said though I realized that he was a kid when this happened and, while yes that still affected him, it wasn't the same as if it happened a day ago.

Darren and McGee had had sex at some point in time. Multiple times by now! If McGee was hurting Darren in anyway at all he would have realized something before now.

"Darren," I soothed rubbing his back.

"I just want him back," Darren said his resolve breaking and tears falling from his eyes.

Standing up I brought Darren into the living room and sat on the couch. I kept trying to calm the man until I finally felt his breathing even out and him slump against me.

I pulled away gently and arranged the man on the couch. The tears were still falling even as he slept, but he was sleeping and right now that was exactly what he needed. Well, that and McGee.

When I thought that I realized what I needed to do. Taking a blanket off the back of the couch I draped it over Darren and wrote a quick note that I had to run out to get something and I'd be right back.

Of course that wasn't the truth. Darren wasn't going to confront McGee about this obviously so that left me. Darren knew me well enough to know that was exactly what I'd do and that's what he wanted even if he didn't know that.

Maybe I had been wrong about Darren though. He loved McGee, obviously, and I knew that we'd get along if I tried, but right now none of that mattered. I needed to make McGee see what he was doing.

"Abby," McGee answer the door, "What's going on? Is everything okay?"

"Where's Darren?" I asked brushing past him.

"I don't know. He went out for a walk about ten minutes ago. He'll be back soon."

"Will he?"

Confusion filled McGee's eyes as he took a step closer to me. A protective look quickly covered that, but deep down I could see the worry and slight fear of what I was saying.

"Abby?" McGee questioned.

"Darren cried himself to sleep on my couch," I glared, "And do you know why? Because of you! Because you are making him feel like you're disgusted with him because of what happened when he was a child! Are you? Is that why you're doing all of this? Because you're disgusted? I can't believe that, but if I'm wrong tell me. Are you really that kind of person, McGee? The kind that would abandon someone he said he loved because of something like this? That's just…I can't even look at you right now."

"Hey, Abby, what are you talking about? I haven't abandoned Darren."

"He feels like you have. Tell me, why won't you kiss him? Why do you sleep on your side of the bed? And when was the last time you told him you loved him? Those are just a handful of things Darren pointed out before he started to cry. And I get it. He told me about the abuse. I know that you're doing this because you're afraid. But you have to get over that! Because you're hurting Darren."

McGee opened his mouth to say something a few times before looking at the ground like it had all the answers. Did he really not see how much he had been hurting Darren all week?

Of course he didn't. McGee would never purposefully hurt someone. Especially someone that he loved. No, he had been too focused on not hurting Darren that he didn't see that he was hurting him.

"I thought you two weren't friends," McGee muttered softly.

"We've both dated you," I smiled, "And your sisters working on a paper."

"No, she's not. She called awhile ago. All she had to do tonight was read a book she's already read four times."

Cocking my head to the side I thought about what he said. If Darren could have gone to his best friend why did he end up coming to me, the girl that he really didn't get along with?

Wait, had Darren wanted to come to me but thought that since we didn't get along I'd turn him away without an excuse? Huh. Darren was a lot smarter than I gave him credit for.

He also had to know that I was going to figure this out at some point in time. Right? Was that the plan or had he actually not thought of this because of how hurt he had been?

Either way this was his way of trying to form some sort of friendship, in a way, between us. And I wasn't going to let him down. I couldn't do that now that he tried to reach out.

"We are now," I crossed my arms, "And you know how I feel about people hurting my friends. So, what are you going to do to fix this, McGee?"

"What can I do?" McGee sighed, "I just wanted to…"

"I know. Hmm…I have an idea."

"Should I be worried?"

"Of course. You should also buy a lot of condoms. Unless you guys don't use them?"


	33. Chapter 33

"Timothy?" Darren questioned, "Everything okay?"

We had been home for almost an hour now and this was actually the first time he spoke to me. Had I really messed up that badly with him or had something new happened that I wasn't aware of?

No, that didn't make sense. The man in front of me was upset because what I had been doing. Why hadn't I seen this before? Why did it take Abby talking to me to make me see it?

Sighing I looked up from my book and felt my breath catch. Darren was leaning against the wall drinking a cup of tea…Without a shirt. Oh I missed that sight more than I had realized.

His chest was my favorite thing about him physically, besides his eyes at least. Pale, smooth, slightly muscled, that scar running over his heart reminding me that he might not have been here. It was amazing.

Above the scar was a tattoo reading, Re Mea, which was Latin for 'My reality'. That was his only tattoo and he had gotten it for the Hotchner family to always remember them.

His navel was pierced as well and he was wearing one of my favorite rings. A Semi Precious Obsidian Snowflake Stone Vine Dangle Belly Ring. And the only reason I remembered what it was called was because it was the first that I had bought for him.

Though that wasn't why it was my favorite. No, I loved feeling it in my mouth whenever I ran my tongue over his body. His stomach and chest were so sensitive. Especially his navel and nipples.

"No," I sighed standing up, "It's not okay."

Darren gave me a confused look, but didn't move from his spot. Everything was wrong with that. Whenever than man knew that something was wrong the first thing he'd do was pull me into a hug.

The only thing I could figure was that he was afraid that I didn't want him to touch me. Which was so far from the truth. How had this whole situation gotten so far out of my control?

I needed to get Darren to understand what I had been thinking, but honestly I had no idea what I was supposed to say. There was no chance of words actually mattering at this point.

I kept my movements slow until I was finally standing in front of Darren. He continued to stare at me in confusion as a smile came to my lips. He always looked so beautiful to me.

Threading a hand in his hair I brought him into a kiss. One I hoped Darren understood was an apology. Anything to get him to see that I was still here with him. That I wasn't leaving.

A soft moan built in Darren's throat as he stepped closer to me his body pressing tightly against mine. I couldn't' help but sigh happily at that. Just feeling him against me made me feel better.

"Wait," Darren started pulling back, "What is going on here?"

"I'm apologizing," I smiled slightly, "I know I've been…Distant lately. Okay, so Abby told me that I was being distant because I hadn't noticed. I had been so focused on not hurting you that I didn't see what was right in front of me. I'm so sorry, Darren."

"So, you're not…You're not disgusted by me?"

"What? Disgusted by you? No, never. Darren, I thought you wouldn't want any real touch after talking to Gibbs. That bringing everything up would make you want to be alone for awhile."

"Alone? Timothy, I'm still trying to figure out how I feel about everything because it wasn't until recently that I really started to understand. There is one thing I know though. I will never not want you to touch me. It's the only time I truly feel safe and I'm sorry if I…"

"No, don't apologize. This is all on me. You have done nothing wrong. Darren, I love you more than anything."

A bright loving smile came to Darren's lips as he pulled me into a tight hug. Sighing happily I rested my head on his and closed my eyes. I missed this feeling so much.

Just feeling his arms surrounding me, his breaths ghosting over my neck, the warmth seeping from his body into mine, it was amazing. I never wanted to lose any of this.

A loud knock on the door had me pulling away from Darren with a grin. The confusion came back to his face as I walked to the door and opened it knowing who was on the other side.

"Hey Tony," I smiled.

"Hey," Tony nodded while handing me a few paper bags, "You owe you, Probie. And don't tell anyone about this."

"I won't. Thank you."

"Yeah. Have fun. Don't do anything I wouldn't."

Seeing the older man wiggle his eyebrows at me I shook my head while closing the door. I was so glad that I had talked to the man when we were at work. I knew he'd come through for me.

I moved into the kitchen with Darren and Jett following me. They both looked confused, but I simply asked Darren to feed our dog while I set everything up. Luckily, Darren didn't question it.

Pulling out a full Italian dinner I had to smile. Tony had out done himself. Bread, pasta, salad, even dessert and a bottle of wine were in the bags. I took back everything bad I said about that man.

"What did…" Darren started only to have his mouth fall open as he looked at the table.

"Thought I'd make this apology official," I shrugged while pulling out a chair, "Join me?"

Darren sat down quietly his eyes still scanning over everything. I would have been worried, but I could see the happiness in his eyes from here. He hadn't expected me to do this for him.

Sitting on the opposite side of the table I smiled happily at Darren and started to eat. It wasn't long until both of us were talking about everything and anything. It was like one of our early dates.

"You're not going to propose or anything, right?" Darren asked looking at his plate.

"No," I laughed, "I already know I want to marry you, Darren. Anytime. And while you pointed out you want to be with me I know that if anyone's going to propose it should be you. Not that I'm looking for one. Just saying that I'll wait, but I'm happy even if you don't. But I do have the perfect ring for you."

"You picked out my ring already?"

"No, that's not…What I mean is…Wow, this is not going where I was hoping. Umm, you know those stupid ads that come up on the side or top or bottom of a website sometimes?"

"Yes?"

"There was one on different engagement rings and one just caught my eyes. It was…It was you."

Darren's eyes widened slightly as he stared at me. He looked freaked out in this moment and that was actually the last thing I wanted him to feel right now. I really didn't know when not to talk.

"What did it look like?" Darren whispered.

"Well, it was platinum because I know you hate gold," I explained with a blush, "And umm…Well, it was kind of a ring for a woman, but the diamond was in the shape of a heart and on either side were Celtic Love Knots."

The weird look continued to grow on his face until he looked away from me and back at his plate. I couldn't even begin to figure out what the man before me was thinking and I wasn't sure I wanted to know.

"I do," Darren muttered.

"What?" I asked my eyes wide.

"I mean…The ring…I do like it. It sounds beautiful."

"Oh."

A small smile came to Darren's lips as he slowly stood up and made his way around the table. His movements never speed up as he knelt to the ground and took my hands in his.

"Darren," I said slowly.

"Don't worry I'm going to propose," Darren smiled, "It's way too soon after everything for us to do that."

Nodding my head I smiled at the younger man as he pulled my chair out before linking our hands once more. A small smile came to his lips as he stared at them for a moment.

"But," Darren continued, "I can do this."

I let myself bend down and be brought into a soft, sensual kiss. Sighing I threaded my hand through Darren's hair pushing him closer to me. Anything to keep the man kissing me.

Everything was slow. The kisses, Darren's hands running up my arms and to the buttons of my shirt, my body pulling away from him so my shirt could open completely before being pushed to the floor.

The dining room was filled with our panting as we stared at each other. I could see the lust and love mixing in Darren's eyes as he once again pulled me into a kiss that made my knees want to go out.

I loved this part. Darren taking charge. It wasn't something that happened often, but I knew that when he did I was in store for a night of both of us just worshipping each other.

That thought was confirmed as Darren's lips calmly left mine and started to trail down my neck. He nipped and kissed every inch of skin his lips came in contact with. It was like he was exploring, but I knew he already mapped every spot out.

"Wait," I moaned, "We should…Bed-Bedroom."

Darren pulled back slightly so he could nod his head as his hands grabbed my hips. He lead me through the house fingers gently squeezing periodically as if to see that I was still with him. Where else I'd be was beyond me.

When we got to our room the door was shut tightly behind us. Darren's lips decided to pick up where they left off as soon as the door closed. He licked down my neck until he got to the small dip in my clavicle only to place a quick nip there causing a moan to slip from my lips.

He pushed me backwards while his lips moved down my chest. It wasn't until I was lying on the bed with Darren straddling my waist that I felt his fingers nimbly work their way up my stomach.

Taking a nipple in his hand and the other in his mouth he slowly played with them. Teeth and nails scraping slightly as the nubs before they were soothed thoroughly by his tongue and palm.

Once he decided that he was satisfied Darren moved down once more. His tongue licked down my stomach in a pattern I couldn't even begin to understand causing soft gasps to fall from my lips.

I loved the man like this. So thorough and in control of everything going on. He had a plan and, while my mind was turning into mush, I knew that I was going to enjoy every second of it.

His tongue slipped into my navel before sucking on it gently. I could feel his nose rubbed sensually against my stomach until he finally pulled back only to replaced them with his hands.

The fingers calmly kneaded into my skin while traveling down my left leg. My whole body seemed to be turning into jelly with every move the younger man made. It was a blissful feeling.

"Darren," I sighed as his hands worked every muscle on my leg before moving to my other one, "Oh, Darren."

"Timothy," Darren moaned nuzzling the side of my hip.

"Come up here. Please."

Doing as I requested Darren moved up my body and let me kiss him. Our tongues intertwining slowly, pants and moans and gasps falling into each others mouths as our bodies slid against each other.

"Turn around," Darren finally gasped pulling away.

As soon as I found myself on my stomach Darren's hands were working over my back as kisses were placed on the back of my neck. His tongue once again leading the way in everything.

Moaning softly I couldn't stop myself from circling my hips into the mattress. It was almost too much just to feel the mans touch lingering everywhere, all over every inch of my being.

A louder gasp fell from my lips as Darren's fingers started to work on my ass. If I thought he was being teasing before I realized how wrong I was. His nails scraped my skin slightly only to have his tongue sooth over them.

"Dar-Darren," I gasped my hips moving forward again, "Pl-Please."

Darren seemed to know exactly what I meant because one of his hands disappeared only to come back a second later. A wet finger slowly pushing into me. So deliciously slow.

Moaning I tried to thrust back only to have his other hand pin me to the bed. Torturously I found myself almost sobbing in bliss as Darren's manipulated three of his fingers inside of me.

It was almost what I wanted, but Darren seemed content working with his fingers though I could feel his heavy cock pressed against my thigh. Still, he made no movements to change that.

"Darren," I groaned fingers digging into our bedspread, "Please. Get in…me. Fill…me. Please, Dar-ren. Pl-ease."

"Tim-othy," Darren moaned back his fingers pulling out of my body.

I found myself shivering in disappointment until felt him aligning himself with me. He pushed in calmly, letting me feel myself be stretched with every passing second. It was amazing.

Soon he was fully inside of me. Pressed so tightly against me, but the only movements were his hands rubbing up and down my sides as he pressed kisses to my spine.

As I opened my mouth to beg the man to move I felt him pull out just as slowly before thrusting deep inside of me. A soft scream fell from my lips as Darren kept that pace going.

So slow and deep I could feel everything. Skin slapping against each other. Pants hitting my back. Sweat running down both of us. His lips ghosting over my skin until he found a spot and latched on.

Teethed worried at my skin until I was sure I would have a mark. I couldn't say that I cared. All I wanted was for Darren to bring me over the edge, but he wanted this to last.

"Dar," I sobbed thrusting back as best I could, "Fast-er…Harder…Any…thing. Just…Oh…Please…More!"

Darren pulled out of my completely before flipping me over. Throwing one leg over his shoulder while the other wrapped around his waist he thrust in once more and set a bruising pace.

My head thrashed side to side as I yelled Darren's name. I could feel the edge coming closer and closer, but it wasn't until Darren's skilled hand wrapped around me that I finally let go.

Darren's name became a mantra as I lost it completely and soon the man was filling me. He thrust a few more times before pulling out and falling beside me only to bring me into a kiss.

"I…love you," I panted my eyes slipping shut.

"I love…you too," Darren responded moving us around until we were both cleaned off and under the blanket, "Sleep."


	34. Chapter 34

"Okay, Gibbs," Darren smiled clapping his hands as I stopped my truck, "Where do we start?"

"Supplies," I answered climbing out, "Wood first."

Nodding his head quickly Darren and I walked through the store towards the woods. This morning Darren had called me and said that he'd love to try to build a desk for McGee.

Now, an hour later, we were meeting at the hardware store ready to pick everything out for the desk. And based on the grin on the younger mans face he couldn't wait to get started.

It wasn't often that my son and I were alone and this time I wasn't going to let the time pass in silence. That had already happened too much. Now was the perfect time for us to actually talk.

Still, the first thing that I did was look over Darren. Ever since his past came into light there had been a weight on his shoulders. That all seemed to be gone now and I was glad about that.

"Cherry wood," Darren suddenly said looking around.

"Know what you want?" I asked leading him to the back of the store.

"I looked some different types of woods. I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing, but I do know that the color of cherry wood would go best with the color of the walls in Timothy's study."

"You each have your own studies?"

"No. Timothy uses it when he works on his books. He likes to go…He likes for everything to be specific when he's writing. Helps get everything going. Clothes, pipe, typewriter, music. The study is Timothy's space to do whatever he wants with."

"You have a room like that?"

"Have you seen our house, Gibbs? I basically decided everything. Wall color, artwork, furniture, carpets. Timothy let me pick everything. Partially because he trusts my judgment, partially because while he's at home a lot he does spend more time at work, and partially because he knows just how much I love to have everything organized.

I'm not saying that he didn't have a say or anything. He was there every step of the way, I picked out a few things that I knew both of us would like and then we'd work together to figure out what would look best where. And, yes, Timothy vetoed a lot of the things I picked out."

Nodding my head I let myself smile slightly at that. McGee already pointed out that Darren had a way of organizing everything. He knew that very well and even as he was telling me this before he was smiling happily about it.

That was something that I had hoped to see. Relationships were difficult to say the least and I did not want either of them to go through what I had with my three ex-wives. No one should go through that.

"Love him a lot," I commented running my hand over a piece of wood checking for the quality.

"I do," Darren smiled his eyes softening, "I remember the first time I realized it."

Turning my head slightly towards him to let him know I was paying attention I listened to him. It wasn't a big elaborate story like I was expecting, but I could hear the emotion behind it.

The stories continued throughout the rest of the store. It seemed that whenever Darren started to talk about something he loved, like McGee, he couldn't stop from telling everything.

From their first meeting, I couldn't stop laughing because he was wearing an M.I.T. sweater, their first date, the dinner was so disgusting we ended up leaving and just walking around, and even meeting McGee's Grandmother, that woman is insane.

As we piled more and more things for the desk into the cart I found myself looking at Darren periodically. Every time I did I noticed him doing the same movement over and over.

The fingers of his right hand were running over his left ring finger. If he had been wearing a ring I would think that it was without thought, but I knew that wasn't the case now.

"McGee ask you to get married?" I questioned as we went to pay for everything.

"No," Darren said quickly dropping his hands to his side.

"You want him to."

"We were talking a few nights ago and it might have gotten to that topic and I might not be able to stop thinking about it. It doesn't matter though. There's still way too much to do before I can actually think about that."

"Like what?"

"Oh, I don't know, maybe the fact that none of his team and friends, people he considers family, don't know that his boyfriend is their bosses son. Do you know how messed up it would be if I married Timothy without them knowing who I actually am? That would be horrible for everyone and I like to think that maybe, just maybe, I could actually be friends with the team even after I'm finished with my paper. Considering I'm almost halfway done that should be within the next few months!"

Sighing to myself I stopped Darren from going any further and forced him to look at me. He looked a little brokenhearted and I wasn't sure if that was because he wasn't going to go further in his relationship with McGee or because ours was still a secret.

I made sure to keep my movements slow and obvious so Darren could pull back at any time. When he didn't move away I pulled him into a hug that I usually reserved for Abby.

Instantly Darren's arms were wrapped tightly around me as a shaky breath left his lips. This wasn't just because no one knew he was my son. No, this was about something much deeper.

Rubbing Darren's back I waited calmly until he pulled back and blinked back tears that he hadn't let fall. Once he was in control he gave me a sad smile and pushed the cart to the register.

"That's not the only reason," I continued as he pulled a credit card out.

"No," Darren sighed, "But that's the only one that I actually have any control over."

"What are the other ones?"

"Beside Timothy deserving someone better? I might be a small commitaphobe. It's not that I don't want to marry him, I do, but I'm not exactly…I'm not…I'm messed up."

"McGee doesn't think so."

"Timothy is a good guy. Kind hearted, smart, sweet, loving. He deserves the best. That's not…That's not me."

"Darren…"

"Gibbs, I'm a…"

"You're a psychology student who is working on making a life with his boyfriend. Darren, you can't just let your past define you. Trust me on that."

Darren looked at me over the now filled back of my truck with sadness. He wanted to move on, to forget everything that happened to him, but he was scared of what would happen.

I couldn't blame him for that. He had been through a lot. More than anyone should be and I hated that. I still couldn't stop thinking that it was my fault for not knowing about him.

Still, I could remember looking into Darren's eyes when I first met him. I couldn't say that I thought he was abused in anyway. There was barely a haunted look in his eyes most of the time.

That was because of McGee. I wasn't saying that Darren's past wasn't dark, but his future with McGee was brighter. It was taking him a little time to see all of that though.

"The one thing you can control," I shrugged opening the door to my truck, "How's this Saturday?"

"What?" Darren questioned his eyes wide.

"We'll have a team meeting at my house. I'll tell everyone that you're my son."

"Are you…I mean…Are you sure?"

"I'm not ashamed to call you my son, Darren. I'm quite proud of that fact. If you want to wait we can, but I'm more than willing to tell everyone."

Darren looked around the parking lot with a lost look on his face. His teeth started to chew gently on his lip ring as his arms wrapped around himself. For a moment I saw what he would be like as a child.

Shy and sweet. He'd be the one hiding behind others until he saw something that made his heart clench angrily. Then you'd get to see just how strong and passionate the man truly was.

"You don't have to, Darren," I stated calmly driving to his home.

"I think…I want to," Darren muttered shyly, "I mean…If you're sure?"

"I am. Darren, I know you used to do drugs, I hate that fact, but I know you don't do that anymore. I know you were abused as a child, and I don't blame you. I know you lived on the street, and I don't think you're weak.

You are my son, Darren and I'm proud of that fact. You're strong, shy, kind-hearted and most of all you're a good person. You deserve to be with the person you love."

"Timothy…"

"McGee and you are a good couple. You're in love. I lost the person I loved more than anything and no matter what I did I couldn't find that love again. I know now that I won't. You still have the person you love. Don't lose that because you're afraid. You'll regret that more than anything. And it won't just hurt you. It will hurt McGee as well and I know you don't want that. Now, go. Stop by tomorrow and we'll figure everything out."


	35. Chapter 35

"Hello, Ziva," Darren nodded walking into the conference room.

"Darren," I nodded back.

It was a normal Friday and I had finished the paperwork for our last case half an hour ago. I noticed that Darren was staring at his work with a blank look. I offered to let him interview me because of this.

Though if I was honest I had only done that because Darren continued to let out soft sighs every few minutes. The younger man had something on his mind and I knew the perfect way to find out what.

Darren had always seemed very focused on everything that he was doing. Everything was organized and he made sure everything was saved in many places so not to lose anything.

Seeing him like that was something that McGee said did not happen very often. It simply showed everyone how much Darren truly believed in what he was doing with his work.

I liked the thought of that. Darren was passionate about things and he was dating McGee. Anyone that looked at them could see the love and passion in their eyes whenever they looked at each other.

"Have Ducky and Tony told you what to expect?" Darren asked folding his leg under him and sitting down in his chair.

"They have," I answered.

"Okay, ladies first."

Smiling at the man in front of me I took a minute to look over him. There were many different questions that I could ask him to get to know him better, but I was unsure what to ask.

I would like to consider Darren as my friend by now and if I asked the wrong question too soon than I knew that it would end badly. No, that was the last thing that I wanted to do.

Still, as much as I wanted to be friends with Darren I considered McGee to be my family. And though Darren seemed like a good person I knew that that could change in a matter of seconds.

McGee did not deserve to have his heart broken once again. How it had happened so many times in the past was saddening. I did not want to have to watch that happen once more.

I did not have many chances to talk to Darren. While I wanted to call him my friend we did not socialize outside of work. This was my first chance to see how he truly felt.

"Is McGee your first serious boyfriend?" I questioned following the instinct to protect my friend.

"He's my first serious anything," Darren shrugged, "I don't really have the best track record with relationships of…Any kind actually. You know Timothy though. He brings out the best in everyone he's around."

"Yes, he does."

The soft smile that had come to Darren's face continued for a moment before the man shook his head. It seem that Timothy was a subject that distracted him even from the interview.

"Working in the profession you do how do you relax when you are off the job?" Darren asked looking at his notebook.

"I spend a lot of time cooking," I answered calmly, "Often times on the weekends the team will come over and I will cook for them. It is the one thing that I know will calm my mind and help me deal with everything that has happened."

"Cooking or baking?"

"I do prefer to cook most of the time, but I do enjoy baking as well. Would you ever consider having children?"

Darren's eyes widened when I asked that. It was quite obvious that he had not truly thought that far into the future. Though the blush that was slowly coming onto his face let me know he was thinking now.

I did not know how either Darren or McGee felt about raising a family, but I did know one thing. Both of them would make wonderful parents that any child would be lucky to have.

McGee was a very understanding person and he was so sweet and kind. He would be there for his child. Teaching them everything he knew. Protecting them for everything he could.

Darren was very loving and in a way childish. He would be there for their children to talk about anything and everything that they came in contact with. Providing them with a safe home.

No, there was no doubt in my mind that they would make wonderful parents. I could only hope that one day their family would expand. They deserved to have that blessing.

"I…I don't know," Darren blushed.

"You have not thought of having children before now?" I questioned staring at him.

"Not really. I mean, I'm not sure I'd be very good with kids."

"Why not? I have seen how you react with people and I believe you would make a wonderful Father. As would McGee."

"I know Timothy would. He'd be…There wouldn't be anyone better. As for me… I'm not exactly the best person."

"That does not matter. As a parent you will make mistakes, but you will do your best and you will not be doing it alone."

"Unless something happens to Timothy."

"You will still not be alone. If something was to ever happen to McGee than the team will be by your side the entire time. You are our friend, Darren. Please, do not doubt that."

A sad smile came to Darren's face when I said that and I could not understand why. What I had said was not meant to hurt the man. No, it was supposed to do the opposite.

Darren slowly stood up and went to the coffee. What was going on in the younger mans mind to make him look like that? Was he thinking of something that was truly that bad?

"I hope that continues, Ziva," Darren breathed not looking at me, "I hope that continues."


	36. Chapter 36

"You jealous, Timothy?" Darren grinned pulling his trousers.

"Of you spending time with your Dad?" I questioned lying on our bed watching him get dressed, "Yeah, I'm totally jealous."

Darren stopped moving as he pulled a shirt out of the closet for a moment before sighing and falling onto the bed next to me. Instantly I pulled the man closer to me so his head was resting on my shoulder.

Ever since Darren had come home after his day with Gibbs a smile had been on his face. It wasn't until he explained that Gibbs agreed to tell everyone that he was his son that I understood.

That was three days ago and everything seemed to hit Darren right now. I wanted to be able to tell him that everything was going to be fine. That this news wasn't going to change everything.

Both of us knew that was a lie. I wasn't sure how Ziva and Palmer were going to react, but I knew nothing would change all that much with Darren. Tony was going to be hurt, but he'd work past that.

That's when Abby came in. Abby was Gibbs baby, his favorite. She was, in a way, a replacement for the daughter that he lost all those years ago. She could do nothing wrong and she knew it.

Now Gibbs found out he had a son and, in Abby's eyes at least, that was going to mean a fight for attention. That was something that Abby was good at and something Darren didn't want to do.

Darren already was wary about being part of a family. He didn't know how to act, but he was getting better. In the end though his relationship with Gibbs was still rocky in a lot of ways.

If this went wrong it was more than possible that Gibbs was going to have to side with Abby or Darren. That was going to break not only their hearts, but his as well. I really didn't want to see that happen.

What was I supposed to do though? I wasn't going to be able to help Abby or Gibbs. I could just be there for Darren and if this went bad I wasn't going to be the person that Darren needed.

"Maybe we should put it off," Darren sighed.

"That will only make it worse," I shrugged, "You know that."

"It's going to be bad either way."

"Darren."

"You know that's the truth. I don't want it to end badly. I want to be able to be part of this family, but I know…"

I forced Darren to follow me when I sat up. The younger man had tears in his eyes and I knew that he was already coming up with the worst scenarios in his head and it was killing him

"Don't worry," I muttered kissing the top of his head, "I'll be with you every step of the way."

"Thank you," Darren smiled slightly cuddling into my chest.

Smiling back I kissed his lips gently before standing up and getting dressed myself. It wasn't long before Darren and I were walking into Gibbs backyard and seeing everyone already there.

Palmer and Ziva were setting some food out, Tony and Abby were playing with a football, and Gibbs and Ducky were carrying some more food out from the kitchen. Well, Gibbs was carrying Ducky was talking about something or another.

Everything looked like it was already set up and I couldn't help but wonder if we were late. That didn't make sense though. There was still five minutes before the agreed time.

"Hey guys," Tony grinned, "You're late."

"No," I shook my head, "My clock…"

"Daylight savings!" Darren suddenly yelled.

Looking at the younger man I realized that we hadn't changed the clocks before we went to bed. Alright, we were a little late and based off the smiles everyone knew what had happened.

"Same thing happened to Palmer," Ziva smirked, "We were going to send someone over if you did not appear soon."

With a slight blush Darren and I started to help set everything up. It was so peaceful to be with the team outside of work. Because of that I almost completely forgot why we were there.

Before I knew it everyone was sitting in chairs or on the ground eating their food and laughing. Right now Ducky was telling a story about hunting with a Falcon when he was younger that had everyone enthralled.

"Everyone," Gibbs calmly stated when Ducky finished his story, "I know you're wondering why I did this."

"Yeah, Gibbs," Abby smiled, "Finally decided on an annual team weekend?"

"No, I have some news. You all know that I don't let anyone into my team unless I want them to be. When I brought Darren onto the team it wasn't because he was McGee's boyfriend…It was because I found out he was my son."

For what felt like the first time ever everyone was silent. Ducky was the only one that didn't look surprised by this, but I already knew that Gibbs had told the older man this before.

Palmer and Tony were looking back and forth between Darren and Gibbs looking for some indication that they were related, Ziva was staring at Gibbs in confusion, but Abby…Abby was glaring harshly at Darren.

"What did you do?" Abby practically growled.

"What?" Darren asked confused.

"You must have done something to the tests so you could show up as Gibbs son! Seriously what type of person does that?"

"What are you even talking about? I didn't do anything."

"Oh really? I knew you weren't a good person! You're just using McGee to get to Gibbs so you can hurt him!"

"I'm not you, Abby! I don't use people!"

"I use people? I use people?!"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's obvious."

Abby let out a small growl before smacking Darren. The mans head went to the side and I saw his mouth open to tell her not to do that again when her hand came swinging again.

This time Darren grabbed her hand ready to defend himself. It was like some sickening dance as I watched Abby throw hits as Darren did his best to avoid them without actually trying to hurt her.

It wasn't because Abby was a girl, but Darren wasn't a fighter. Not saying he couldn't fight, but the only time he did was when he had to and then he did his best to hit the person hard enough to go down in as little time as possible.

Ziva and Tony seemed to notice this because soon they were moving closer to pull the two of them apart. Tony's arms were around Abby's waist while Ziva's were around Darren's shoulders.

It took a few minutes to finally get them apart, but as soon as they were I couldn't help but look around again. Ducky and Palmer looked saddened by everything that was happening.

It was Gibbs face though that got me. The man was good at keeping his face blank so no one knew what he was thinking, but right now I could see the pain and anger blazing in his eyes.

Then there was me. I was just as saddened by everything, but it was more because I knew that this was going to happen. I had hoped though that I had been at least somewhat wrong.

Darren suddenly looked up at me I felt like I had been punched. He had said that this was going to happen as well and to have it actually come true was the worst thing for him.

I had wanted to say something. To do something to help him, but I didn't know what to do. I was so far out of my element that all I could think of was grabbing Darren's hand and leaving.

"Enough!" Gibbs suddenly yelled.

Silence fell over the party once again as the man glared at everyone. It took a lot to get Gibbs to raise his voice like that and I honestly was glad that I had never heard it directed at me before.

Actually now it wasn't even directed at me this time, but I couldn't stop from flinching at it. Everyone else seemed to shrink though as their eyes quickly turned to the older man.

"You both," Gibbs said his voice deathly calm, "Are both my children. All of you are and if you continue to act like this I will punish you like the children you are acting like."

"But Gibbs…" Abby started.

"No. Darren didn't find me, Abigail. I found him. He didn't know I was his Father for a long time and I was the one that decided when we would tell everyone. Not Darren. If you have a problem then have it will me. Not Darren. Is that understood?"

"Gibbs…"

"Is. That. Understood?"

Abby looked at Gibbs tears already starting to fall from her eyes before nodding her head. Gibbs nodded once back before looking over at Darren who was now almost hiding behind Ziva.

The man looked so small in that moment I wanted nothing more than to pull him into a hug. Sadly, I knew that Gibbs wasn't even close to being done with his lecture. I'd have to wait.

I just didn't understand how things ended up getting so messed up. The party had started out so well. And I knew Abby wasn't going to react well, but to go as far as she did? It was more than I expected.

Of course, Darren didn't have to come back as harshly as he had. It was sad. The two were just starting to become friends and all of that was ruined for who knows how long.

This was the last thing I had wanted. Everything had been going so well for Darren. He was slowly getting his confidence in our relationship and I had actually thought that maybe he and I were going to continue forward.

Not right then, but in the next few months I had hoped that maybe we'd get engaged. All of that seemed to be destroyed now as I watched Darren almost shaking from his tears.

Why couldn't this have gone smoothly? Everyone already knew Darren. They knew he was a good guy and they knew how much I loved him. Why did him being Gibbs son have to change anything?

"Darren, Abby," Gibbs continued, "That was inappropriate and you know it. You cannot act like that again. I don't care if you think you're in the right or you want to one-up each other for attention or anything. I will not tolerate it and I will not choose between you two. Understood?"

Darren and Abby both nodded their head quickly. Neither of them had really been thinking when they had spoken. Something that had happened more often that not in both of their lives.

I knew that they didn't mean it. They were so caught up in wanting to be the one that was right that they ended up hurting everyone. It was a good thing that everyone here knew that.

It was a bit difficult at times when they did that. And more then once I had wanted to walk away from everything when we got in fights that ended like that, but I remember how much I loved them. And it wasn't long before they realized what they'd done.

At least most of the time. It was a little distressing at times for this to happen, but it didn't happen often, once a year at most. It was one of those things that I dealt with because I loved Darren. That was the only reason why I did it.

"Ziva, Tony," Gibbs glared at them, "If those two want to fight…Let them. It's time for both of them to act like adults. This is between Darren and Abby and they're going to figure it out on their own. No one is going to get in the middle."

Ziva and Tony looked like the wanted to argue, but one look had them both in silence. That was a first for Gibbs. He never had anyone stand to the side and watch a fight happen.

This wasn't exactly a normal situation though. Darren and Abby were Gibbs children and now that everyone knew that there was no reason for him not to act like their Father.

"Tim, Jimmy, Ducky," Gibbs said looking at us, "You seem to be the only other adults here. We're done for today. As for your four, I might not be able to ground you when you're home, but keep in mind…When you're at work. You're mine. Now go home all of you."


	37. Chapter 37

"It was horrible, Sarah," Darren muttered his tears soaking into my bed.

Sighing I sat next to him rubbing his back gently. Darren had been at my dorm for half an hour and that was actually the first time he spoke to me. He had literally been lying face down on my bed crying.

Every part of me wanted to get up and go yell at everyone that had hurt the man. The only thing keeping me here was one…He needed someone right now…Two…He really wouldn't want me to do that.

I loved Darren with all my heart. He was like my other big brother and it hurt me to see him like this. It was so wrong to see someone that loved to smile crying his eyes out.

The first time I had met the man I hadn't known what to expect. Darren had been sitting at his normal table, wearing his normal clothing, headphones in his ear blasting 'The Turtles', chewing on his lip ring, and putting his notes on his laptop.

He looked up and I thought he was going to tell me off for interrupting me, but he simply grinned handed me the book I had asked for. It could have ended there, but as I was leaving Darren took my arm and drug me to get a drink.

I could still remember asking him what he was doing. He simply smiled said it was time for tea and that I was his new friend. I asked if I had a say in it and he ended up laughing at me.

Darren was a hard person not to love. He was always smiling and saying something witty and sarcastic. It really didn't take all that long before he was my best friend.

In the end I found myself loving Darren. No, not like that. I have only ever loved Darren as a brother, though I had to admit that he was a good-looking man. Still, he was gay and with my brother.

Now he was hurt and that did not sit well with me. No one hurt my family and got away with it. If it had been anyone besides Tim's team and Darren's Father I would have been telling each and every last one of them off.

How anyone could not want Darren as part of their family was beyond me. Anyway, hadn't the team already brought him into their little family? He was hanging out with them and dating Tim. Was being Gibbs son that different?

"Darren," I shook my head sadly, "You just have to wait awhile. They'll come around."

"Them?" Darren asked confused.

"Aren't you upset because of how the team reacted to knowing that you're Gibbs son?"

"Well, yeah. It sucks, but I was sort of expecting that to happen. I know it will take a little time for them to get over it."

"Then what's going on?"

Darren slowly sat up and turned around while wiping the tears from his eyes. My heart clenched angrily at that and while I wanted to be able to continue to blame someone I knew that wasn't the case.

Yeah, I wasn't a huge fan of Abby right now, I never have been. She had reacted out of emotion without thinking and it blew up in her face. Darren had been defending himself. And everything got out of hand.

"I don't remember much about the Hotchner's," Darren shrugged, "In the end the only thing I do is how I felt. It was the first time I felt like I was safe, peaceful. I hadn't known them for very long, but they were my family and I loved them. Still I was so young, I never really got in trouble. I never had to see that look on their faces when I did something wrong."

"Like you did with Gibbs," I nodded in understanding while pulling him into a hug, "Darren…"

"He hates me now," Darren muttered so softly I barely heard him.

"No, he doesn't. Darren, that's the thing about parents. They love you no matter what. Gibbs might be a little upset with you right now, but that doesn't mean that he doesn't love you."

"Maybe he never did."

"Hey…"

"Sarah, Gibbs just met me. He barely knows me."

"You've known each other half a year, Darren, and based off what Tim says I know that Gibbs does love you. It might be a little difficult because you just met him, but I know that you love him too. I promise you Gibbs loves you. Nothing will change that. Just talk to him. Everything will be fine."

Darren let out another sigh and pulled back from me. He had a small smile on his face and I couldn't stop myself from smiling back. He might not feel one hundred percent, but he did feel better.

Cocking my head to the side I stared at Darren before an idea came to me. Quickly grabbing a tissue I cleaned Darren's face and pulled him up and off the bed then tugged him out of the room.

He opened his mouth to say something, but one look had him laughing softly as I led him to the café. I was just glad that he wasn't so depressed that he wasn't letting me take him out.

"Here," I said offering him a muffin and coffee that I bought him, "Want to keep talking about this or are you going to tell me about that thing?"

"What thing?" Darren asked confused.

"The thing that you got mad at me for bringing up before? You know the one that Tim talked to you about? The one that's going to happen in the future?"

"What are you talking…Wait, are you asking if Timothy and I are going to get engaged?"

"Only if you're not going to get made at me again."

Darren looked down at his drink in silence. He seemed to be trapped in his thoughts before finally looking back at me with a slight smile as he nodded his head a few times.

"Ask," Darren whispered.

"Are you and my brother engaged yet?" I questioned excitedly.

"No. Timothy says that he's going to leave the when up to me."

"But you're thinking of a when now?"

"Maybe. Timothy and I were talking about marriage and he said that he'd wait for me. He wanted more, but he was willing to wait. And he described the ring that he had picked out for me and I couldn't get it out of my mind. It was so beautiful."

"I know. I was there when he saw that link. I told him to go with platinum instead of silver. If it was anyone else I'd wonder how they'd feel about having a girls ring, but I knew you'd love it."

"I do. Then Gibbs and I were out and he noticed that I was messing with my ring finger because I was thinking of how a ring would feel on it. He told me that I deserved it. Deserved that happiness."

"Which he's right about. You and my brother are in love and I know it's just your own fear that's making you not already be engaged to him. Which is completely stupid on your part."

"That and we've only been together for a year and a half."

"So? People get engaged really early a lot of the time."

"We're not most people, Sarah. And I don't rush."

"Darren, do you want to marry Timothy?"

"I kind of…"

"Darren."

A blush came to the mans face as he slowly started to chew on his lip ring. He opened and closed his mouth a few times before he nodded his head a smile coming to his lips.

"I do," Darren sighed happily.

"Then ask!" I exclaimed loudly.

"It's not that easy!"

"What's standing in your way?"

"What about…What about kids?"

"Do you want kids?"

"I don't know! Ziva said that Timothy and I would make good parents and…This is all just going too fast."

"That's stupid, Darren."

Shaking my head at the older man I realized that this was exactly what Tim was trying to avoid. Darren knew what he wanted. He wanted to be married and to have kids. He just needed to do it in his time. Still, a little push never hurt anyone.

"But, Sarah…" Darren whined.

"No, buts," I said rolling my eyes, "I don't see the big deal. Just get married and adopt some kids."

"You don't…"

"Or you can get a bunch of snakes and call them your babies. Kids will run! Run from the crazy snake man!"

"Haha, Chandler."

"I don't know what you're worried about."

"Sarah, you know me."

"Exactly, so let's make it official. Darren Hotchner, I, Sarah McGee, give you permission to marry my brother, Timothy McGee."

"Great, thanks for the permission. Just need to have Timothy ask Gibbs for my hand."

"I can arrange that."

"Smartass."


	38. Chapter 38

"Boss," McGee said in surprise, "Umm…What are you doing here?"

"Visiting," I stated calmly walking into his home.

"Darren's not here."

"Not visiting Darren."

McGee gave me a confused look before motioning for me to follow him into the kitchen. We both knew that I didn't make house calls like this often, my team came to me, rarely the other way around.

But I couldn't stop thinking about last weekend. The look on McGee's face as he watched Abby and Darren fight was not something that I wanted to see again and I knew that he hadn't talked to either of them about it.

That was something I noticed about the younger man though. He was never one to really talk about anything. He simply tried to figure out everything by himself until there was nothing left to do but ask for someone else.

Before all of this happened I simply waited for him to come to me. And maybe that was a mistake because I couldn't remember him actually coming to me when he needed help.

The man knew that he was part of my team, that I didn't doubt. I wasn't sure he knew how much he meant though. In the end that was my fault and I knew that I was going to have to change that.

When I had heard that I had a son and that he was dating McGee I had no idea what I was supposed to think. Still, I couldn't bring myself to be too upset by that. I had known that my son was in good hands.

The more that I thought about it the more that I wondered about everything and after my talk with Darren I knew that it was a very possible chance that Darren and McGee were going to get married.

That thought didn't get to me as much as the idea of not knowing either of the people that I thought of as my family. That was going to have to change and while that was changing with Darren it wasn't with McGee.

Now it was time to fix that. How I was supposed to get a man that rarely talked about himself to talk was beyond me. Hmm…I had never truly noticed how much McGee was like me.

That was a strange thought to have. McGee and I were different in so many ways that it was easy to look over everything else. Looking past all of that though I could see everything.

McGee, while he loved to talk about the things he knew, scarcely talked about anything personal. If it wasn't for situations out of his control bringing in his family and boyfriend the team would never know.

He also took his time and tried to do everything that he could by himself even if he didn't know how. I don't know why he thought he had to do everything by himself, but he did.

Then there was that protective quality he had. When Sarah was in trouble he didn't come to me or the team and he was more than willing to quit a job he loved. And just because of his little sister.

In the end those were the things that I felt a sense of pride for. McGee was a good person, no one could say otherwise. That still did not meant that I knew anything about the man.

"You're here to see me?" McGee questioned, "Did something happen with a case or something?"

"No," I answered taking the drink he handed me, "Nothing to do with a case?"

"Okay. No offense, Gibbs, but what are you doing here then? You're not really the person to just stop by for a visit."

"I was talking to Darren awhile back. He said some thing that got me thinking."

"Thinking? What about?"

Hearing the nervousness in the computer geniuses voice I smirked slightly. I knew that there were a lot of things about their relationship that I didn't, and didn't want to, know.

Though right now I wasn't sure if I was making McGee nervous because I was his boss or because I was Darren's Father. It might have been odd, but I couldn't help but hope for the latter.

When Shannon had told me that we were having a daughter she had joked that every boy in town would be scared of her Marine Father. I had been looking forward to scaring them in a way.

I was never able to do that with Kelly and I had thought that Darren was too old for me to strike fear in the heart of his boyfriends. Now I could see that I was wrong about that.

Was it possible that I hadn't missed out on as much as I had thought? Of course there were things that I would never be able to do with my son, but maybe there were some things that I could.

Though there really wasn't all that much I could do when it came to Darren's relationship with McGee. They had already moved in together and were thinking of marriage.

Then there was the fact that I wanted to protect McGee just as much as I wanted to protect my son. He had come to mean a lot to me over these past years and I didn't take that lightly.

"Your and his relationship," I responded calmly.

"What about it?" McGee asked in confusion.

"I've only heard his point of view."

"And you…Want to know how I came to be in love with your son or something?"

"Yes."

McGee continued to stare at me like I had said the most absurd thing, but soon a sigh fell from his lips as he almost clasped into a chair. If it wasn't for the smile on his face I would think he was remembering something painful.

That was the thing about McGee though. He felt. He felt much more than I had thought when I brought him onto my team and in the beginning I thought I might have made a mistake.

Now that he had grown into himself I saw that I hadn't. He was a good agent, and still growing, and an even better human. I was proud to be able to say that McGee was on my team.

"Gibbs, your son," McGee started before pausing, "Your son is amazing. The first time I realized I loved him was about two months into our relationship and we had a really bad case. Darren and I were supposed to have a date that night, but I just…I just couldn't do it. Darren never asked me what was wrong. In fact he never talked. We just laid on the couch with Jett. We didn't move until the next morning. Never once did either of us talk, but with him just holding me I felt like I could let go of it. Not forget, but move on."

Staring at McGee I let his words play in my mind. His voice was so soft as he spoke, but he said it with such love that I had no doubt in my mind about what he was saying.

As much as I liked the answer though it got me thinking about why I came here. I knew that Darren and McGee were very much in love, but I still knew nothing about the man in front of me. That needed to change.

I was able to get McGee talking for almost an hour. Well, I asked questions and McGee, with a fair amount of confusion, answered. It truly felt like this was the first real conversation I had had with the man.

"Gibbs," McGee interrupted, "Not that I don't like feeling like I'm being interrogated in my kitchen, but what are you doing? Why are you suddenly taking an interest in my life?"

"Because I don't know you," I answered.

"I've worked for you for how many years, Boss? I think you know me."

"You never told me you had a sister or that you wrote a book."

"Well, that was because I…"

"You what, McGee? Didn't trust me?"

"What? Of course I trust you, Gibbs. There was never a point in time when I didn't trust you. Question you, of course, but I've always trusted you."

"Then why didn't you tell me?"

"Boss…"

McGee let out another sigh while standing up. It seemed like he truly had a reason for not doing it and I knew that once he told me I wasn't going to like whatever the reason was.

"You reminded me of The Admiral a lot in the beginning," McGee spoke softly.

"Your Father," I nodded.

"Yeah, he wasn't…He wasn't exactly the best Father. Or I wasn't exactly the best son. Depends on who you ask. The point is I was never good enough for him. No matter what I did. That's why I didn't tell you about my books. I didn't want you to be disappointed in me like he always was.

"As for not telling you about Sarah. I've just always taken care of her myself. Father was deployed a lot of the time and Mom…Well, she tried, but she didn't really know what to do with either of us when we were kids. It's just second nature by now."

Not for the first time I wanted five minutes alone with McGee's Father. I hated hearing the uncertainty and self-loathing that man brought into his life. You never did that to your kids.

"Listen to me, McGee," I said moving to stand in front of him my hands resting on his shoulders, "You have disappointed me, but you have never let that stop you. You've continued to grow and I am more than proud you say you're on my team. And I'm more than happy to think of you as part of my family."


	39. Chapter 39

"Thanks for doing this, Jimmy," Darren said while popping a grape in his mouth, "I know it's your lunch break."

"It's no problem," I replied with a smile, "It's nice to be up here and out of autopsy sometimes. Not that I don't love being in autopsy. I do. I just…Has the interview started yet?"

Darren laughed softly while shaking his head causing me to let out a relieved sigh. I knew that my mouth had a tendency to get away from me, but, luckily for me, everyone else seemed to know that too.

Taking a bite of my sandwich I let my eyes look over Darren. When I had first realized he was dating McGee I thought that he was nothing like I thought the agent would normally date.

Not that Darren wasn't a good person, or that I'd forgotten that McGee dated Abby, but…Wait…No, it made perfect sense for McGee to be dating someone like Darren.

McGee was…He was a sweetheart and he was protective. So, he needed someone that he could protect. Someone that would lean on him, but at the same time was strong enough for him to lean on them. Yeah, Darren was a good fit for him.

"Do you ever think of leaving NCIS and working somewhere else?" Darren questioned calmly, "That was the interview question."

"Sometimes," I shrugged, "I love working here, but there are times that I find myself questioning if they actually need me here. I mess up a lot and I'm not nearly as good as Dr. Mallard, but then I remember something."

"What?"

"That the dead need a voice. I can help with that. And maybe I'd fit better somewhere else, but this is my home. This is the place that I feel I need to be. I don't think I could ever leave."

Darren smiled at that while nodding his head. Since both of us were eating he had simply placed a recorder in the middle and turned it on. I had to admit I liked being interviewed that way. Like a real conversation.

Actually now that I thought about it I wasn't sure I did like it. If Darren was recording me instead of taking notes he would have me rambling on tape. And could end very badly.

Okay, while I didn't trust my mouth not to get in trouble I doubted that Darren would use that to hurt me. Despite what Abby said the man before me was a good man. At least from what I saw.

Given I hadn't hung out with him a lot, but I knew that neither had she. Oh, this situation had just gotten way out of hand. Honestly, I didn't see that going on other way though.

No matter how soon or how late Gibbs told the team there were going to be problems. When the news got out no one had been thinking. They were hurt and reacted quickly.

Well, some of them had. I had just stood there frozen as Abby and Darren basically tried to tear each other apart. Hearing that Darren was related to Gibbs was just…Mind-blowing in a way.

The only thing that had been running through my head was how Gibbs must have felt. He suddenly had a child again. I couldn't even begin to figure how painful that must have been for him.

As for Darren…Well, I wasn't sure how that man's mind worked or even who the man was really. Still, I found myself wondering time and time again. And now I had a chance to ask.

"I have to ask," I voiced quickly, "What's it like being Gibbs son?"

"I don't know," Darren sighed, "I'm not sure he really sees me as a son yet and…I don't exactly have the best track record with parents."

"You guys haven't been hanging out together?"

"We have, but I'm the one doing most of the talking. That's not really surprising is it?"

Laughing at the mans words I shook my head. No one could ever say that Darren didn't know how to talk. He was almost as talkative as Abby. I wonder who would win in a talk off?

That would be something to see. Although if it was Darren and Abby I doubted it would be a talk off. It would probably end will them getting into another fight and that was not something I wanted to see again.

"Tell me, Jimmy. What's the dating like?" Darren smirked happily, "I mean, I know you're dating someone, but before that. How did people react when they heard what your job was?"

"I had some weird reactions," I blushed, "But I'll never forget…And I'm being serious… I was asked if I would pretend to be dead while in bed with her. I was so freaked out I left."

"That really happened?"

"More than once. I don't think I'll ever understand, but…No, there's no 'but' there. I'll just never understand."

Hearing Darren laugh once more I couldn't help but smile. I liked the man in front of me. He was nice and smart and he didn't seem in be overly concerned by the things that I said.

I knew I wasn't the smoothest person and I hated whenever someone who didn't know me made fun of me for that. To see Darren actually just give me a friendly smile and continue with the conversation was amazing.

Right now I wasn't sure where everyone else stood with the man, but I felt myself wanting to point out that he was still my friend. Which is weird because, this was our first real conversation.

That was just the type of person he was though. Maybe I should be upset about him lying about dating McGee or him being Gibbs son, but I couldn't bring myself to care about that at all.

He was trying to protect his family and love and that was what was important. Now to get everyone else to see it that way. Before I could finish that thought process though the door swung open revealing Tony.

"Tony?" Darren asked turning towards the man, "Is everything…"

"I'm taking you to the hospital," Tony cut in.

"Hospital? Wait, what's…"

"McGee's hurt."


	40. Chapter 40

"Abby," Gibbs sighed shaking his head while wrapping his arms around my shoulders.

Crying softly into the older mans chest I shut my eyes against all the thoughts that were running through my head. I didn't want to deal with any of the worst case scenarios that I kept seeing.

When Ziva called to tell me to get down to the hospital I had froze. I didn't know who was hurt, I didn't know how badly they were hurt, and I honestly didn't care about that.

I had hung up the phone before she could say anything else and ran to my car. If anyone was going to tell me anything than they were going to do it face to face. I didn't want to hear my friend was dead over the phone.

It wasn't until I got to the hospital that my mind started to work once again. I had looked around the room and saw Gibbs. Since Ziva had been the one to call it couldn't have been her that was hurt. That left McGee or Tony.

My mouth had opened to ask what had happened to who when a sob came out instead. Gibbs slowly stood up and pulled me into a hug whispering my name, but that was the only thing said.

I knew that Gibbs wasn't really one for talking like I was, but for the first time I was actually glad about that. Because as much as I wanted to know what had happened I felt so close to breaking that I didn't think I could handle it.

This wasn't the first time that someone on the team was hurt and it wouldn't be the last time. Still, it literally felt like everything that I was had been shaken until the tiniest bit of wind would shatter me.

Was this how it was for Gibbs? No, it had to be worse for the man. He was the team leader and he took responsibility for everyone on the team. He had to be blaming himself for this.

That was such a big lie though. Gibbs, no matter what I claimed, wasn't a super hero. He couldn't stop everything bad from happening. It wasn't his fault that bad things happened.

And it wasn't his choice that the team decided that they wanted to do this job. I knew that he hated that fact at some points in time and I honestly couldn't blame him for that.

The team was a family and Gibbs was the Dad. Everyday he had to put the team, his kids, in harms way. Some of those days bad things happened and one of them ended up hurt.

It was a horrible fact that I wished could change, but I honestly couldn't see the team doing anything else. This was the job that they were meant for and if they had to leave it would break their hearts.

"Gibbs!" a voice suddenly rang out.

Spinning around I saw a panting Darren run up with Tony, Palmer, and Ducky not far behind him. The man's face held such a look of despair that I knew that McGee had been the one hurt.

Every ounce of dislike I felt for the man fell away at that point. Darren was very much in love with McGee, he wasn't faking the emotions, and nothing was going to change that.

I had a difficult time with change, that was nothing new. Darren joining the team had thrown everyone through a loop and, even though Gibbs was the one to bring him in I didn't like it.

Then we had our little fight. My dislike of him doubled. How dare he talk about things he didn't understand? It just wasn't right. He needed to mind his own business. Though, now that I knew everything I knew that it was his business.

When I heard that Darren was dating McGee I did my best to keep my head on straight, especially after the conversation I had ended up having with my best friend that night.

But when I heard that he was Gibbs son…I didn't handle that very well. I knew that my outburst had actually ended up hurting Gibbs more than anyone, but in that moment I wasn't thinking.

It had been awhile since that day and saying that Gibbs was mad…No, that wasn't the right word. Gibbs hadn't been mad that day. He had been disappointed, which was so much more.

Since that day Gibbs had barely been talking to Darren and myself while he shot these looks at Tony and Ziva periodically, but he had, for the most part, forgiven them. I had apologized and I knew that Darren had done the same.

Still, he hadn't taken them. I had no idea what I was supposed to think about that. I hadn't known what the older man had wanted. Now though, now I understood why he did what he did.

Gibbs didn't want us to apologize to him. He wanted Darren and I to talk about what happened. He had meant it when he said that we were both his kids. And he wasn't going to choose between us.

"What…Happened?" Darren panted out.

"Clearing the house," Gibbs stated, "Suspect came up from the basement. Took three shots. Two hit McGee. One in the leg and the other in the shoulder. Suspect's dead."

"And is he…I mean…Gibbs?"

Once again Gibbs slowly shook his head showing he didn't know anything more. Tony moved quickly to catch the distraught man as Darren's legs seemed to fall out from under him.

I watched McGee's boyfriend as he was led to a chair. His chest raising and falling quickly as tears of fear and uncertainty started to stream down his face. That's when I remembered.

"Darren," I slowly spoke moving to kneel in front of him, "You need to calm down."

"C-Can't," Darren sobbed.

"You have to. Calm down, Darren. Just breathe."

Instead of answering Darren simply shook his head. His hand slowly moved up his chest until it was resting over his heart. He knew what I was trying to do, but he had no idea how to calm down by this point.

Ducky was the next person to figure out what I was doing. He moved to sit next to Darren while taking his wrist in his hands and measuring the man's pulse. A sigh fell from his lips after a minute.

"Get a doctor, Jimmy," Ducky said feigning calmness, "Tell them that this man needs to be checked out."

"Ducky?" Gibbs questioned from behind me.

"Darren, you're heart is beating far too quickly. You need to calm down before you end up hurting yourself."

Darren once again shook his head as Palmer came back with a gurney, nurse and doctor. Ducky moved so the doctor could take over. A frown came to the Scottish man's lips as the doctor started to bark out orders.

Soon Darren was on a gurney being rolled away, but before they could get very far I heard the doctor exclaim that Darren had stopped breathing. I turned to Gibbs at that hoping to get a hug when I saw the look on his face.

How had I forgotten? Darren was his son and right now he was being admitted to the hospital because of how quickly his heart had been beating after he learned what happened to a member of Gibbs team.

"Everything will be okay," I muttered wrapping the man in a hug, "They'll be okay."

Gibbs didn't say anything, but as his arms wrapped around me again I found his grip was a little tighter. That was the most emotion anyone was probably going to get out of him right now.

With his son and surrogate son in the hospital it was probably one of Gibbs worst nightmares. Is this was Gibbs dreamt about at night? Well, when he wasn't dreaming about his family.

"Timothy McGee?" a nurse asked calmly walking through a pair of swinging doors.

"Yeah," Gibbs answered pulling away from me.

"I can only talk to…"

"I am his father."

The doctor nodded his head at Gibbs growl and quickly started to tell us everything. McGee had to have surgery to get the bullets out. His leg was going to heal nicely, but his shoulder was a different story.

The bullet ended up tearing through a tendon and, while McGee was actually in surgery right now to fix that, things looked hopeful. There were still a lot of hours to go before we knew for sure though.

If everything went well McGee would be out of here in a week. He'd be on leave for awhile as he healed and went to physical therapy before being put on desk duty, but he'd be fine.

McGee was going to hate that. No typing with one of his arms as he waited for it to heal. No gaming either. The computer genius was going to go insane after two days of doing nothing.

I knew that I should be ecstatic to hear that, but I couldn't bring myself to be. Even if McGee was okay we still had to find out how Darren was and then tell McGee what happened.

"If you would give me your number I'll call when you can finally see him. It should be sometime tomorrow afternoon," the nurse finished, "You should go rest until then."

The nurse left silently after that leaving everyone to think about what she said. Okay, McGee was going to be okay. Now to wait for someone to calm and tell us how Darren was doing.

Moving slowly everyone started to go their separate ways. Ducky and Palmer to get drinks for everyone, Tony pacing the floor muttering words to himself, and Ziva calmly staring out a window.

That only left Gibbs and myself. After a moment of the man just standing there I tugged him to a chair and had him sit down before curling into his side. For the first time I was offering him comfort.

It felt wrong in a way. Gibbs was the strong one. Everyone would lean on him. I couldn't actually think of a situation when he had to lean on someone else. Except for when he lost his memory, but that was different.

Now the strongest man that I had ever known was quietly sitting here waiting to hear news about the son he'd barely known for half a year. What was going on in his mind right now?

No, forget that I asked that. I really didn't want to know what he was thinking. He might be leaning on me right now, but I wasn't strong enough to think like him right now or ever for that matter.

Slowly looking around the waiting room I noticed that Palmer was handing me my drink. Sighing I smiled slightly as Palmer handed me a tea. He tried to smile back, but it turned into a grimace.

I knew that he was close to McGee and Darren. Still, he was trying to be strong right now. He probably wanted nothing more than to see Breena right now. I couldn't blame him.

Darren was new to the team, but everyone, except me, were getting to know the man. Even from afar I knew that he had a way of getting into your heart and becoming your friend.

If it hadn't been for the fact he was dating McGee I knew that he and I probably would have been amazing friends. I had let that one thing could my thoughts about the man though.

"Darren Hotchner?" a doctor called.

"Yeah," Gibbs said looking up.

"His heart had overworked itself. From what Dr. Mallard said a mix of emotion and exertion. Because of this we had to put him under for his own safety."

"How's his heart now?"

"He'll have a little pain for a few days and he should spend awhile simply resting, but I don't see him having any lasting ill effects."

"When can we see him?"

"Tomorrow afternoon at the soonest."

Nodding Gibbs looked at the ground as some of the tension in his body washed away. It wasn't all of it though and, thankful that I was a pushy person, I came up with a plan.

"Can we just see him?" I asked childishly, "Just to make sure he's okay?"

"Just you and your Dad," the doctor sighed after a moment, "Five minutes. That's all."


	41. Chapter 41

"Timothy," Ducky greeted walking into my hospital room, "I'm happy to see you awake."

"Glad to be awake," I started only to groan as I tried to sit up.

Ducky moved quickly to put a hand on my shoulder before moving slowly raising the bed. The movement was a lot smoother than when I tried myself, but a pained sound still fell from my lips.

Without thinking I looked around the hospital room only to have a sudden rush of fear and concern run through me. No matter what time it was or what rules had to be broken Darren would be by my side.

I could hear the heart monitor speed up slightly as my thoughts wondered to Darren. Was the man hurt? Had he been in some sort of accident while he was trying to get here?

"Timothy?" Ducky asked worriedly, "Is something wrong? Are you in pain?"

"Darren," I answered looking around wildly, "Where's Darren?"

"Ah, Darren…Timothy, you need to calm down. I assure you that Darren is perfectly fine now."

"Now? As in he wasn't okay before? As in hurt? As in…"

"As in safe now. Breathe Timothy and I'll see if I can get you both into the same room, okay?"

I started to take stuttered breaths as the nurse came into the room. Instantly she started to bustle around me while telling Ducky that I needed to be kept calm. Ducky simply nodded and agreed with her.

None of that mattered though. The only thing that really mattered right now was me seeing that Darren was alright. Still, in the back of my mind, I knew that she was just helping me.

"Good afternoon, Mr. McGee," she smiled putting her stethoscope around her neck.

"Tim," I answered with the slightest smiled.

"Good afternoon, Tim," she laughed, "My name is Phoebe and from the hours of eight a.m. and five p.m. I'll be your nurse."

Once again I tried to smile, but I couldn't do it. I just wanted to see my boyfriend. I needed to know that he was alright and I knew that I wasn't going to be able to act like myself until then.

That didn't mean that I didn't feel bad for how I acted. I knew that I was attached to Darren, in some ways I was dependent on him. So, when I heard that he was hurt I reacted badly.

I still remembered the last time Darren got hurt. Sarah had been with me when I got the call. She hadn't wanted me to drive, but I didn't listen to her. I was just lucky the cop I almost decked listened to my sister and didn't write a report.

"I'm sorry," I sighed, "Can I…I need to see someone."

"You're welcome to have visitors at any…" Phoebe started.

"No, the person I need to see is here. He's another patient. Darren Hotchner? Please, I need to see him."

Even as I begged to see my boyfriend I felt my eyes slipping shut. I knew that getting injured took away your energy, but right now that was the last thing I needed. If she thought I wasn't well enough I knew she could keep me from Darren.

Saying his name in my mind once more I realized that I didn't even know what was wrong with him. It had to be serious for him to be in the hospital, but it could still be anything.

I had been trapped in my thoughts for too long because the next time I looked around Phoebe was gone and Ducky was sitting next to me with his usual smile on his face.

"What happened?" I asked fighting to keep my eyes open.

"When Darren heard of your injuries he rushed to get here," Ducky explained calmly, "His heart was working too quickly and you know how dangerous that is."

"And now?"

"He had to stay the night and he'll have to take it easy for awhile, but Darren will be fine."

Feeling a weight lift off my shoulders I smiled a little wider. I wasn't going to feel completely okay until I saw him, but Ducky would have told me if anything was wrong. I trusted the man.

That had always been a weird sentence for me to say before I joined the team. It wasn't that I didn't trust anyone, but thinking back I had only truly trusted Penny and Sarah.

Then I met the team. It was so easy to trust Ducky and Gibbs. At the time it was a little harder to trust Tony and Kate, they reminded a little too much of the people I went to school with, but I learned.

As for Abby. Well, that was a really complicated situation. I trusted her almost instantly because I was attracted to him and we did get along really well. Our relationship went up and down a lot of the time, but I still cared about her.

That was when Sarah brought Darren into my life. Now him, I didn't trust him at all, though I did find him attractive. I don't know why I didn't. Honestly, there was just something about him that I had to question.

Luckily for me I figured out why I didn't trust him rather quickly. Well, I didn't figure out as much as Darren told me. Hearing about his past, his drug use, his thievery, I knew why I felt distrust.

It did help that he was forthcoming with his past, but it wasn't enough. Until one day when Darren and Sarah were hanging out at my place when I came home from work. He was so calming and helpful.

After they left that night I ended up falling asleep rather quickly only to have Darren fill my dreams. That was when I really started to think about a relationship with the man.

It was odd to think about that now, but I was just glad that I moved past it. Knowing everything I did about Darren's past I could see just what type of person he ended up being. I had to admit that I was proud of him.

"Darren," I breathed my eyes slipping shut.

"Sleep, Timothy," Ducky whispered.

I wanted to argue that I wouldn't sleep until I saw Darren, but I couldn't. As soon as my eyes were fully shut I had fallen asleep and the next time I opened my eyes it was dark out.

"Ugh," I groaned softly.

"In pain?" a voice whispered.

"A bit."

I felt the warmth of someone lean over me for a moment. I expected the person to pull away fully after that, but they lingered over me. That was when I realized who was over me.

Opening my eyes slowly I found myself looking up at Darren. He gave me such a bright smile in that moment that I felt myself smiling back as I slowly placed a hand on his arm.

"Hey," Darren sighed carding a hand through my hair, "How are you feeling now?"

"Better," I answered, "You? I heard you were in the hospital."

"I'm better now. You have no idea…"

"I'm sorry, Darren. I'm so sorry."

Darren let out a soft noise and carefully pressed his lips to mine. The kiss was so gentle and caring. I wanted to be able to pull Darren closer just so I could feel him against me, but I couldn't.

Is this how it was always going to be? How many more times was I going to end up getting hurt? Or would it be Darren lying in a hospital bed next time? I really didn't want to answer any of those questions.

"Darren," I said pulling away, "I love you."

"I love you too, Timothy," Darren responded linking our hands together, "So much."

Looking down at our linked hands I started to think of the future. I had so many plans for it and all of them involved Darren. He was in the center of everything I did and I loved it.

I wanted more than what we had now though. I wanted to be able to introduce him as my husband instead of my boyfriend. I wanted to be able to see the ring I picked out on his finger.

"Darren," I stared at him, "I promised that I'd wait and I know I should, but…"

"Timothy?" Darren questioned confused.

"I promised that I'd wait until you were ready. I'd wait until you asked me to marry me. I know that I'm rushing it and that I should probably stop talking now before I make a fool out of myself. I just…Darren, I want to marry you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Yes, I know that no matter what we'll end up being together, but I want to be able to say that you're my husband."

I knew that I was rambling, but I couldn't stop myself. Right now I just needed to get everything out before I ended up falling back asleep. Which was completely possible because I already felt tired.

"Timothy," Darren interrupted me, "Just ask."

"Darren Hotchner," I asked hopefully, "Will you marry me?"

Darren stared at me and I wondered if I did the right thing. I had said I'd wait for him. With everything that happened though I just couldn't bring myself to wait any longer.

"Of course," Darren grinned, "I'd love to marry you, Timothy McGee."


	42. Chapter 42

"Gibbs?" McGee questioned looking up from his laptop, "Is everything okay?"

"You haven't questioned me visiting before," I commented sitting down next to his hospital bed.

McGee had been in the hospital for a little over a week now. He would have been out sooner, but his doctor was airing on the side of caution, not that I could blame her for that.

That being said I knew that the man in front of me was ready to crawl out of his skin. It seemed that he hated to sit around without anything to do almost as much as I did. Though I hadn't heard of any escape attempts.

I had a feeling that had a lot to do with Darren. My son was going back and forth between almost giddy and downright depressed. The depression was easy to figure out, spending time with your love in a hospital was different than home.

It was the giddy that had gotten to me. I didn't like admitting how long it actually took me to figure out what had happened, but I knew now. I just needed McGee to confirm my suspicions.

"You always come an hour after work," McGee smiled, "Everyday. Like clockwork."

"That I do."

"So, why are you here in the middle of the workday?"

"Because I know for a fact that Darren is sitting at your desk."

"You need to talk to me away from Darren? Why? Has something happened?"

"You tell me, Tim."

McGee seemed to get a more confused look when I said his first name. I loved confusing my team by doing something small like that. It was the perfect way to throw them off balance just enough to get what I wanted.

Normally I would question the person until they answered, but I never did that with my team, unless I couldn't avoid it. In the end I knew that McGee would be the least likely to answer direct questions.

That was something I learned over the years. You could trick McGee into doing a lot of things, and as long as he never found out or you have a good excuse everything was fine, but the moment you were direct with him he felt the need to defend himself.

I had no idea where that trait came from, though I did see it in myself as well. Still, I hated the fact that he had that he had that trait at all. It was so different than how I normally thought of the man.

Though in the end I had to admit if I learned one thing with this whole situation with Darren it was how little I actually knew McGee. I found that I truly hated knowing that I knew basically nothing about him.

Since this whole thing started I had been trying to get to know the computer genius more. And even though I knew that he trusted me with his life at work when it came to his private life he wasn't forthcoming.

I had learned more about Timothy from my son than I had ever learned from him. I couldn't blame him. I knew I wasn't an open person, but everyone on the team had come to talk to me at some point in time. With the exception of Palmer and McGee.

Palmer was a different story. Though he had been on the team for many years I knew that he wasn't sure where he stood with everyone. By now McGee knew he just didn't do anything about it.

"You know," McGee nodded.

"What do I know?" I asked calmly.

"That I asked Darren to marry me. That he said yes."

Giving McGee a half smirk to show that was exactly what I meant I stared at him. I knew that I had no reason to feel it, but I had almost hoped that he would have talked to me before he asked.

It was a hard thing to think that I had no idea what had been happening in my own sons life for the past twenty-seven years. Now I was seeing him take another huge step and I had to stand by and watch.

Once again I found myself thinking of what it would be like if I had raised Darren. Was it possible that Darren would be already married to McGee? That got me thinking of what the wedding would look like.

Both Darren and McGee were private people so I doubted that it would be a big wedding. Would McGee's family be there? Wait, how did McGee's family feel about all of this?

So far the only thing I had learned about his family is that his coming out wasn't taken well and that he was close to his sister and Grandmother. He never went any further than that.

I could see it in his eyes. McGee hated the fact that he wasn't close to his family and the ones that decided to stay around he was extremely protective of. That was something I did like.

With everything that had happened in our line of work and everything that happened in Darren's past knowing that he had someone to protect him was a good thing to know.

"I'm sorry, Gibbs," McGee sighed, "I should have talked to you about it."

"No," I shook my head, "You shouldn't have."

"Darren's your…"

"My son. I'm aware, McGee. I'm also aware that I don't know him. I don't know you for that fact. Do I, Tim?"

"What do you mean, Boss? We've worked together for…"

"Almost a year before I knew you were dating a man. A book series that you never told me about. A sister you never told me about. A Grandmother you never talk about."

"I just didn't think you'd be interested."

"Why would you think that? I told you my door was always open."

McGee let out another sigh and looked down at his lap. Wait, did he really think that I was just saying that? That I hadn't meant every word when I said that I'd be willing to talk? To listen?

It hadn't taken much to convince Tony and Ziva to come to me. I had waited and they saw that I meant my words. They came to me a few months after they joined the team.

Then there was McGee. Never coming to talk to me. Always protecting the things he did outside of work. It shouldn't be so hard to believe that he didn't think I would be interested.

"I know your doors always open, Gibbs," McGee gently said, "But I'm not…it's not…"

"McGee," I interrupted.

"You remind me of my Dad. Not all the time. I mean, you're not like him in a lot of ways. Sometimes though…Sometimes when I see you, hear you talk, I think of him. I think of all the ways I let him down. The glares. Him yelling at me. I remember how he reacted when I told him I was bi."

"What he do?"

"He…Let's just say I didn't let him get a second swing in. I left, Boss, and I haven't talked to either of my parents since."

My stomach churned angrily as I thought about what the man in front of me said. I reminded him of his Father. If I ever met that man I knew that things were not going to end well for him.

I had never really thought about McGee's family before now. To me it looked like he had a good relationship with them. There was no reason for me to look beyond that at the time.

Tony and Ziva's family issues were never hidden. So when I met their families I knew exactly how to react to them and I knew how they were going to react to anything that was said.

I even knew how Abby was going to react when family was brought up. Now I was thinking though and I realized that speaking of family was one of the easiest ways to get McGee to put a wall up.

Why was it I never really noticed things that happened to McGee until it was either too late or almost too late for me to do anything about it? Was he that easy to look over?

No, that wasn't right. I never really looked at everything that happened to him because of how he reacted to things. He rarely broke. He took everything in stride and now I saw that he didn't show emotions very often if you didn't know how to read him.

"It's not all the time, Gibbs," McGee quickly continued, "I just hear something you say and I remember the Admiral say something similar and I remember how I felt when he said it. I don't want to let you down."

"You've never let me down, Tim," I firmly stated.

"In the beginning…"

"You were a Probie. Still learning. You made mistakes and you will make mistakes in the future. Just like I do. I know that Abby loves to say that I'm a superhero, but you need to know that that's not true. I try and I think I do pretty well, but I'm not infallible. I will make mistakes. I am human, McGee."

"I know that. I really do. I just…"

"No, there is no 'just' or 'but'. Tim, you are part of my team and you know how much my team means to me. That I have no doubt about. But things have changed now that you're marrying my son."

McGee's eyes widened slightly in fear. He had no idea where I was going with this conversation and I knew then that McGee knew as little about me as I knew about him.

"Now you're going to be my son-in-law," I smiled softly, "And I couldn't be more proud to be able to say that."


	43. Chapter 43

"We don't have to do this today, Timothy," Darren repeated for the third time, "I can call everything off and…"

"Darren," I smiled resting a hand on his thigh, "I know it's my first day home, but it's also my birthday and I know you have something amazing planned. I'm okay."

Darren slowly brought one of his lip rings between his teeth before sighing. He had been like this ever since he picked me up and I knew that all of this started because he was driving.

The man did not like having to drive so in most cases we just said that he never learned. In truth driving was one of this biggest fears. So driving me while I was injured was not a good thing.

I hadn't understood why he hadn't just asked someone to pick me up, but he explained that the team was working on a new case, which I was not allowed to work on, and Sarah was finishing a project.

Now I had no doubts that there was a case and that Sarah had a project to work on, but I knew what day it was and I knew my boy…Fiancé, I really liked being able to call him that.

It didn't take me long to get Darren to admit that there might be a birthday party for me at the house and everyone else was getting everything ready. Turned out Darren had redone everything five times in the last hour.

I hated knowing that I was doing that to him. His anxiety for me coming home coming out with him organizing everything and then the added anxiety of him driving me home. It was just wrong.

There was nothing I could say to the man to make him feel better when his mind was like this. Normally it would be nothing for me to pull the man into a hug and kiss the fears away, but I couldn't do that this time.

In the end the only thing I could truly do was place a hand on him and hope that I was helping in someway. I wasn't sure that I was though. Maybe it would be for the best for him if I did call this off.

Still, I knew that Darren had something amazing to show me. Darren loved to give presents. He loved shopping for months just to find that one thing that he knew the person would love.

In the past he had gotten me some of the most thoughtful and beautiful presents. This time wasn't going to be any different. I just had no idea what it was and I wasn't going to wait.

Was that being selfish? I knew that Darren was going to be uncomfortable until I was back to full health. He was going to worry and hover and be awkward. I knew all of this and yet instead of it just being us tonight I wanted the team there.

No, I wasn't being selfish. If I told Darren what was going on in my mind he would say that he was the one being selfish and promise to do his best to keep calm during this.

The truth was that I didn't want him to be calm. I wanted him to hover. I wanted to see him be awkward. I really just loved seeing that look on his face. A look of pure love. I couldn't stop myself from wanting to see it.

Of course I had seen it before. Every morning when we woke up, every night when we went to sleep, at random points during the day. I could never get over seeing that look though. It was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

"I love you, Darren," I smiled squeezing his thigh.

"I love you too, Timothy," Darren replied happily, "I love you too."

Darren pulled into our driveway and cut the engine. Turning to me he slowly reaches up and places a hand on the side of my face. Instantly my eyes shut and I moved closer to the warmth.

Ever since I was brought to the hospital Darren rarely touched me. I knew that it was out of fear that he'd hurt me, but him not touching me hurt me more than anything physical could.

I loved to feel Darren's body against mine. To feel his warmth cover me, fill me, it was amazing. And it was something I'd been missing for the past week and a half. I hoped being home changed that.

Moving slowly I pressed my lips to Darren. It was a simple chaste kiss, but everything started to feel lighter. Before now I knew in my mind that I wasn't alone. I just couldn't get my heart to believe it.

Now feeling our breaths mingle between us as we broke the kiss I knew it in my heart as well. No matter was Darren wasn't going to leave me and that thought had me leaning in for another kiss.

Sighing into the kiss I threaded the hand of my good arm through Darren's hair to keep him against me. Anything so I could revel in the warmth and peace that I felt right now.

"Hey," Darren muttered pulling back slightly breathless, "You have a party to get to."

"Maybe you should cancel it," I smiled making sure that my lips brushed against his with every word.

"Only if you explain why."

Laughing softly I pulled away from Darren and opened the car door. Instantly Darren was out of the car and over to my side helping me out. Smiling happily I let Darren help me into the wheelchair that I was forced to use.

That was one of the worst things about this. Because both my arm and leg were hurt I couldn't use crutches which meant that I was stuck in a wheelchair until I was finally healed enough.

Darren silently pushed me to the house and opened the door. Part of me was expecting everything to be dark, but since I was in a wheelchair and could hit a lot of things I knew that was a stupid idea.

"Timmy!" Abby yelled excitedly.

"Hey, Abby," I grinned taking the gentle hug she offered, "Hey guys."

Looking around the living room I saw the team. Tony and Palmer were walking in and out of the kitchen placing different foods around, Ducky was talking adamantly about something, and, if I was right, Gibbs and Ziva were in the kitchen.

I had to admit that I loved seeing the team like this. It wasn't that we weren't friends when we were at work, but when we hung outside of work it was like we let down this wall.

Gibbs liked to point out that the team was his family, but he wasn't the only one. Everyone here was my family and I didn't want to lose them. I loved them with all my heart.

"Probie," Tony smiled, "Happy birthday, man."

"Thanks," I happily responded.

"Ziva and Gibbs just finished the food. Grab what you want. I still have to get your present set up."

"It's not…It's not a big present right? Because you really…"

"It's from the entire team. Don't worry about it."

I wanted to argue with him about this, but I knew better by now. The thing that I had to wonder though was what it was that the entire team got me. It was a little weird for them.

It wasn't that we never celebrated birthdays, but we never did go all out. Mostly because we usually didn't have time. It was still a nice thing to do though and I was happy about it.

The dinner went off without a hitch. Well mostly. There was a point where I thought Darren and Abby were going to get into it where Jett was concerned, but luckily Darren stopped himself when he looked at me.

That was one of the highlights of my night. I hadn't seen my dog in so long and when he run in the house from the backyard he was so excited he actually tripped over himself. Something Jett never did.

"Okay," Abby grinned clapping her hands, "Present time!"

"Bring it on," I grinned back.

"Alright, so we didn't really know what to get you. Or what you'd need or anything like that and then it just hit us! We pulled our money together and we paid for your honeymoon!"

My eyes widened when Ziva said that. I honestly never thought that the team would pay for our honeymoon and by the look on Darren's face he hadn't know they would either.

"Guys it's…" I started.

"It's already done, Timothy," Ducky calmly stated, "And if I'm right Darren's present is the only one left."

Turning to my Fiancé I watched a blush come to his cheeks as he slowly stood up. With a nod to Gibbs Darren slowly pushed me through the house until we were at my office.

Darren started to chew on his lip ring again nervously. I hated that look on his face, but I also saw the excitement in his eyes. He really couldn't wait to show me his gift.

"I hope you like it, Timothy," Darren shyly smiled, "I had a lot of help from Gibbs and…I just hope you like it."

Without another word Darren pushed the door open to reveal my office. I felt my breath catch when I saw a brand new desk in the middle of the room. One that I knew was handmade. Darren had handmade me a desk.

Grabbing the younger man's wrist I pulled him down and pressed my lips to his. I had hoped that he felt how much his gift meant to me. Mostly because I knew that something like this was not something Darren liked to do.

"I love it," I whispered, "And I love you. Thank you, Darren."


	44. Chapter 44

"Hey Gibbs," Darren sighed softly his hand coming up to rub his head.

"Headache?" I questioned sitting across from him at the café.

Darren nodded his head slightly, but the little movement caused the man to wince in pain. Worry filled me when I saw that. Why wasn't the man at home if he was in so much pain?

As I thought that I looked down at the notebook in front of him and saw the page was filled, writing was overlapping, and nothing really made any sense to me. That just doubled the worry I felt.

McGee had explained early on that when Darren was having a hard time he loved to organize things. If I had to guess that's what Darren had been trying to do, but in the end everything was jumbled in his mind as much as they were on the paper.

Sighing to myself I moved the notebook so I could get a better look at it. I had hoped that Darren would pull it away from me just so I could see that he was still somewhat functioning.

Instead my son simply rested his head on the table where the notebook had been before. From this angle I could see just how tense the younger man in front of me actually was.

Moving my attention to the notebook I realized what had Darren so flustered. He was trying to plan his wedding to McGee. Actually, he had already planned it. Five different ways. All of them overlapping.

McGee had been out of the hospital for a month now and was now cleared for desk duty. It wasn't up to his normal standards, but even with one hand he was still the best.

He looked happy to be back and nothing had seemed to change between Darren and McGee, but looking at the paper I had to question if they were just hiding it or McGee truly had no idea what was going on.

"I can't do it," Darren whispered standing up, "I can't…I…I'm sorry."

Before I could say anything Darren practically ran out of the café. I sat still for a moment letting his words sink in. Once I understand what he had said I had the notebook in my hand and I was out the door leaving my coffee behind.

I had thought that Darren would have problems with the engagement and the actual planning, but at the same time I thought that the jitters he was feeling would go away.

Darren loved McGee with all of his heart. That I have no doubt of. All of this was just terrifying to the student. I wasn't sure exactly what he was thinking, but I knew it couldn't be good.

I could still remember thinking of calling off the wedding to Shannon. It wasn't that I didn't love her. I loved her with everything that I am. That was the problem in the end.

I had loved Shannon so much and to think that she could love me back just as much, that she could want to spend the rest of her life with me, that she could want a family, it was too much at times.

After I proposed I found myself pulling away from her, fighting, saying the cruelest things that I could think of because I wanted her to realize that she was better off without me.

That didn't last very long with her though. It had only taken Shannon a week to realize what I was doing and she… My beautiful, loving, caring Fiancée actually slapped me.

It was in the middle of one of our fights. I had just come home from work and Shannon was in the backyard gardening. I don't even remember what started it, but before long I was yelling at her.

The slap came out of nowhere and had enough force that my head snapped to the side. I stood there in shock as Shannon calmly told me that if this was what spending her life with me was going to be like she'd leave now.

I had never been one for words, but I found myself telling her all of the fears I had been holding onto. How I wanted the best for her and I never wanted her to have to settle for me.

When I was finished explaining it looked like Shannon was caught between slapping me again or kissing me senseless. Instead she squared her shoulders, pointed a finger to my chest and told me everything she was thinking.

She told me that she loved me just as much as I loved her. That she wanted me to be happy even if I was with someone else. That she was just as afraid to get married to me as I was to marry her.

We ended up staying engaged for awhile longer than we had planned because we both needed to be sure that's what we wanted. And that we could actually handle what was to come.

After all the time of planning and just waiting my feelings never changed. I still thought that Shannon deserved better and I told her as much. I also told her that I wanted to be that better.

I have no idea what it was about that woman, but no matter how hard I tried to keep my emotions to myself around her I found her breaking down every wall I had up without any trouble.

The day of our wedding was the second happiest of my life only to be beat out by the birth of Kelly. I couldn't remember smiling so much in my entire life as I did on those two days.

When I finally caught up to Darren we were in a graveyard. The man was kneeling on the ground between two gravestones. To his right, Jasmine Christine Hotchner. To his left, Jared Nathan Hotchner.

Looking over the gravestones I saw that the couple had only been in their late twenties when they died. And it was all too possible that Darren could have died that day too.

"I haven't been here in awhile," Darren said swallowing hard, "Not since Timothy's…Him being shot. I didn't want to leave him alone long enough to come and tell them what had been going on."

"What has been going on?" I asked staring down at him.

"The engagement."

"No, I meant what's been going on in your head."

Darren shook his head at that his shoulders starting to shake slightly. He had been doing everything not to cry, but I doubted that he was going to succeed in doing that for much longer.

Darren was the type of person that felt. And while that wasn't a bad thing I knew that it could easily hurt a person if they didn't have the right outlet. I couldn't see that happen to my son.

"You can't run, Darren," I continued squatting next to him.

"Why not?" Darren muttered, "Seems like a good idea."

"Because then you'll end up breaking not only McGee's heart, but yours as well."

"Screw my heart. I can deal with…"

"No you can't. Darren, if you run you'll be the one hurting McGee. No one else. You."

"I have to protect him."

"From what? You? He knows what he's doing. I can see it every time he looks at you. He loves you."

"I love him too, Gibbs. I love him so much. But I'm not good enough."

"I thought the same thing at one point in time."

"You did?"

"Yeah."

"What happened? How'd you stop?"

Smirking slightly I moved my arm slowly before tapping it against the back of Darren's head. His eyes widened in shock at that. He had seen me head slap people already so he knew what it meant.

There was still the chance that he wasn't going to react well to it. I waited in silence as Darren's shoulder's slowly started to relax, though his eyes stayed trained on mine.

"Who says I got past it?" I supplied.

"You…You didn't?" Darren sighed, "What happened then?"

"I married the person that I loved more than anything. And I have an amazing beautiful daughter. Darren, my family was ripped away from me and there's nothing I can do to bring them back no matter how hard I try. As much as I hate admitting it. That was out of my control. This, you leaving McGee, you have control. You want to run. Go. Break his heart. Break your heart."

"I don't want to leave!"

"I know. You're scared. You think that leaving is going to help everything. It won't."

"He deserves better."

Darren shook his head once again while lowering his head. I wanted to be able to say that I knew what he was going to do, but in this case I actually had no idea what to expect.

I also didn't know what I was going to do if Darren did decide to leave. I didn't want to lose my son so soon after finding him, but I knew in the back of my mind I would if he died leave.

"I don't know what to do, Dad," Darren whispered tear streaming down his face.

My whole body froze when I heard that. For the first time my son called me 'Dad'. I could feel the smile come to my face as that thought repeated in my head. How I missed being called 'Dad'.

"Be that better," I answered pulling him into a hug.


	45. Chapter 45

"Thanks again, Tony," McGee smiled as we walked into the store.

"No problem," I shrugged, "I finally get to decide what you wear, McGoo. I'm good."

McGee nodded his head slowly and started to look around the store. I had come to this store a lot over the years. It was the best place for me to get a suit. Every inch was filled.

That was probably why he had called me. McGee knew that I would be the one to know where all the good suit stores were. I was just glad he didn't ask Abby. I loved the good, but I couldn't imagine what she'd put him in for the wedding.

Hmmm… Saying that was still a little weird to me. I didn't mind that Probie was marrying a guy, whatever made him happy, I barely minded that he was marrying Gibbs son, again whatever made him happy. But he was getting married.

That was a huge step for anyone, but now that I really thought about it the idea of him getting married just fit. McGee didn't want one night stands or a person on each arm. He wanted security.

And with the way the two of them looked at each other them getting married just made perfect sense. Now that I knew they were together I couldn't really see them breaking up.

"So," I started staring at my friend, "What kind of suit do you want?"

"Darren and I were talking and we decided that we'd both wear white," McGee nodded looking around.

"White? Shouldn't only the bride be wearing white?"

"I'm pretty sure neither Darren and I are the bride. Okay, that's a lie because Darren's going to ask…"

"Going to ask…? Come on, you can't keep me hanging, Probie."

"You can't tell anyone."

"Promise."

"Darren is going to ask Gibbs talk walk him down the aisle."

I blinked in surprise at that. While I knew that Darren and Gibbs were father and son I hadn't really seen anything in their relationship to show that they were even getting along.

This whole situation made me want to call up all my ex's and double check that I didn't have a child out there somewhere. I couldn't imagine that happening, but it actually had happened.

How had Gibbs felt when he heard that he had a child he never knew about? Had he been excited at the thought of being a father again? Or maybe he was angry about the whole thing?

Honestly I had no idea what was going on in my Boss's mind. He was a closed book in most things, but when it came to family it was almost like the book completely disappeared leaving nothing left.

Soon McGee was going to be part of that book. Was I actually ready for that to happen? For someone that I considered my best friend to suddenly be the actual son-in-law of the man I considered a Father figure?

It wasn't that I was attracted to Darren and wanted to be the one marrying him instead. No, I simply wanted to be able to continue to think of Gibbs as being that figure in my life.

I knew that it was a selfish thing to even think about and I hated that I thought it at all, but I had known Gibbs the longest. If anyone deserved to be part of his family it was me.

That wasn't right though. McGee deserved to be a part of Gibbs family as much as I did. No, I just didn't want…I didn't want to have the man next to me replace me in Gibbs eyes.

I needed to know that Gibbs cared about me. That he wasn't going to leave or send me away like my Father did. If McGee took my place than there wasn't a reason that he wouldn't.

It was wrong of my to think. I knew that. Pushing my insecurities onto McGee as he was trying to figure out what to wear for his wedding. Yeah, even I wouldn't sink that low.

That didn't stop the thoughts from yelling angrily in my head. I was jealous of McGee and I hated myself for that. I was just going to have to push those thoughts out of my head.

"Hey, Tony," McGee's voice cut through my thoughts.

"What's up, McFashion?" I smirked.

"What about this?"

Looking at the shirt and vest that McGee had brought out I couldn't stop a nod of approval. Maybe the kid didn't need my opinion about fashion as much as I thought he did.

It was a plan white button up shirt that had nothing really special about it. The vest though was a medium gray color with three buttons that were off to the side slightly, but were down by the hip.

Moving over I grabbed a silk black tie that was relatively thin and placed it on top before going back and grabbing a pair of black trousers so it was now a full outfit. On that looked really good actually.

"I thought you and Darren were going to a white suits?" I questioned, "This is gray."

"Actually, it's for you," McGee blushed.

"I have suits, McGee."

"I know…I just…I was kind of hoping…That maybe…You could…"

"Tim."

"Would you be my Best Man, Tony?"

My eyes widened at that. I knew that I considered McGee my best friend, my little brother, but to hear him actually ask me to be his Best Man. That was actually enough to stop my worrying.

I was still going to be the older brother, Ziva the older sister, McGee the little brother, Abby the little sister, Ducky the grandfather, Palmer the younger cousin, and Gibbs the father. We were just adding a new member to our family.

McGee was never going to try to replace me. He didn't want to replace me. He knew that he was the little brother in this situation and him marrying Darren wasn't going to change that.

"I'd love to, Tim," I smiled genuinely.


	46. Chapter 46

"Are we looking for anything specific, Sarah?" Ziva asked as she, Abby, and I walked down the street.

It had been three months since Darren and Tim had gotten engaged and this was the first time that the three of us girls had actually been off of work or school long enough to go shopping.

Darren had asked me to be his Best Lady about a month ago and I took my job seriously. Luckily, Darren and Tim really didn't have many things that they wanted to be done.

The one thing was clothing. It wasn't going to be a big wedding at a church. No, a small wedding in a park that had these beautiful apple trees everywhere. I had seen the location. It was amazing.

We were waiting until the fall to have the wedding so that left everyone two months to get everything that they needed. One of those things were the right clothes to wear.

As I said Darren and Tim didn't have many things that they did or did not want. It was a really good thing that my brother was able to keep Darren calm even when he started to organize things.

I had heard from my brother that Darren had been worrying about everything that came with being married. He was honestly thinking of calling the whole thing off. Something Tim refused to do.

Tim knew Darren well enough by now to know when to push and when to back off. When Darren told him about the conversation that he had had with Gibbs Tim had taken him to that park.

I knew that my brother was a good writer. You'd be a fool not to see that, but he had never been very good with speaking. He explained to me that Darren had ended up crying at the end of his speech.

He had truly thought that they were going to break up after that. That Darren was going to leave him after he heard how much he loved him. Instead, Darren asked that he say that at the wedding. That they write their vows themselves.

I couldn't wait to hear what my brother was going to say. It had to be something that was so beautiful. Sometimes I really couldn't wait to find the man of my dreams just so I could see him look at me the way Darren and Tim looked at each other.

"Nothing really big," I shrugged, "I have the most restrictions, "Blue and lacy."

"What about us?" Abby questioned.

"No white."

"That's it? No white? Is anyone going to be wearing white?"

"Darren and Tim."

"Why? I thought Darren only wore black?"

"Darren wears black because he like the thought of having the colors united to make something beautiful. No, they're wearing white because the unity that's going to be happening will be their own."

"Darren's idea?"

"Tim's actually. My brother is a huge romantic when he wants to be."

Abby nodded her head slowly and pointed into a dress shop with a small smile. I knew that this was hard on her. She had loved my brother to some extent and to see him getting married must hurt.

I knew the type of relationship that Abby and Darren held as well. They were friendly because of my brother, but if anything happened where Darren thought Abby was hurting Tim then the gloves were off.

Part of me wanted to see that. It wasn't that I didn't like Abby. I simply didn't trust her as far as I could throw her. Which given the right amount of anger would be pretty far.

"What do you think of this one for me?" Abby asked picking up a dress.

The dress was black itself, but there was this beautiful cranberry colored floral lace on top of it that was just beautiful. It would go perfect with a pair of just plan black Mary Janes.

Nodding my head in approval we waited until Abby came out of the dressing room and saw that it looked just as good as I thought it would. It was the perfect dress for Abby to wear.

I knew that Darren was going to love it as well. Darren and Abby did have the same sort of fashion sense and to see Abby wearing something that was her would make him happy.

We ended up scouring the entire store for dresses for Ziva and I before we realized that there would be nothing for us. With a small amount of disappointment we paid for Abby's dress and left.

"Tell us about the wedding, Sarah," Ziva requested as we walked through another store.

"Well, I know that it's going to be at a park," I answered putting a dress away, "It's a beautiful park and the place where we're going to be luckily doesn't have a lot of people going through it. There's going to be a lot of shade and that it's going to be a really small wedding all together. Besides the team maybe…Ten other people?

I know that they're going to have a sort of buffet style dinner with food from all over the world. That was actually really important to Tim. He wanted to be able to have some food from Israel, Brazil, Greece, Russia, Italy, and South America. I don't know exactly what's being made, but I know it will be good.

Darren is making all of the desserts, including the wedding cake. That right there should tell you how delicious it will be. Darren is an amazing baker. He said that he's going to try to make it three stories and that it would be…Oh what was it…Vanilla cake with cherry vanilla frosting. The dessert table is going to be packed.

And I know what they're going to give to guests as thank you presents. I'm also not going to tell you that. Ziva, what about this dress?"

Ziva nodded calmly at the dress before going to try it on. The dress was a sort of dark cream color with a nice green lace on top. It really seemed to pop against the color of Ziva's skin.

Soon we had paid for Ziva's dress an had gone through three more stores without finding me one dress. How was it possible that no one had a cute blue dress with lace on it?

"Did you ever have a crush on Darren?" Abby suddenly asked.

"What?" I questioned back.

"Well, he is an attractive guy. If he wasn't gay and dating McGee I would have went for him."

"He is attractive," Ziva nodded.

"I sort of got over his attractiveness after the second month of him and my brother dating."

"Why is that?"

"I might have forgotten to knock."

Abby and Ziva stopped walking for a moment both of their eyes zeroing in on me. Right then I knew that I had said too much. Of course neither of them were going to back down.

"What did you see?" Abby grinned.

"Come on…" I started.

"It is easier to simply answer her," Ziva supplied.

"I don't find Darren attractive anymore because I might have walked in on him with my brothers dick down his throat."

The two woman were quiet for a moment before both started to laugh. I could see exactly where they were coming from and if it was anyone else I'd join in, but I had seen way more of my brother than I ever wanted to that day.

"Come on," Abby said the grin never leaving her face, "One more store."

Letting myself be pulled into the closest store I started to look around once more. It wasn't that I hadn't found any dresses, there were some amazing ones in the other stores, but this was my brother and my best friends wedding. It had to be perfect.

I wonder how many people got to say that their best friend and brother were getting married and they couldn't be happier? Most people I knew would freak out if that happened.

I couldn't though. Even before they started to date I saw just how perfect they were together. There was no way that I would try to break them apart or let anyone break them apart.

"Sarah!" Abby suddenly yelled, "I found it."

Turning around I felt my mouth drop open. This was the dress that I was going to wear to their wedding. It was just so amazingly perfect and beautiful. Even though I hated dresses and shopping I couldn't help but love this.

Slowly I took the dress from Abby's hands and went to try it on. I had never really like the feel of lace, but as I ran my hand over it I couldn't help but smile. It was such a soft lace.

I put the dress on and looked into the mirror. It was a blueberry colored dress with a scoop neckline and tank top sleeves. The skirt was made of a floral lace and hit just above my knees.

"I love it," I smiled walking out of the changing room.

"You look beautiful, Sarah," Ziva smiled back.

"Thank you for coming with me you guys."

"It was no problem."

"Yeah," Abby popped in, "I mean you do know right?"

"Know what?"

"Sarah, you're an honorary member of Team Gibbs! And not just because Darren's marrying McGee. Welcome to the family."


	47. Chapter 47

"Thanks for letting me tag along, Dr. Mallard," Palmer grinned as we climbed out of my car, "I just can't find a good suit for the wedding."

Smiling back at the younger man I followed him into the suit store and saw Jethro sipping a cup of coffee while watching Darren talk on the phone. I expecting him to have a sense of panic around him, but he was simply smiling.

It was officially a week before Darren and Timothy's wedding and everything was planned. Well, everything except for the suits Jethro, Palmer and myself were going to be wearing.

I knew that Palmer and I had been searching for suits for almost a month now, but we simply couldn't find anything to wear. Luckily Darren said that he was going to be taking Jethro shopping today and invited us.

His upcoming nuptials had the opposite affect on the young man than I had thought. Instead of him controlling every detail he simply asked that everyone only concern themselves with their clothing.

There was truly only one thing that he had asked us not to do and that was have any white besides our button up shirts. It was a simple enough request to follow. I doubted anyone had any real trouble with it at all.

"Ducky," Jethro nodded to me, "Palmer."

"Hello, Agent Gibbs," Palmer responded, "Who's Darren talking to?"

"Florist."

"Oh. Was there a problem with the flowers?"

"No, just a confirmation."

"What's he getting?"

"Casablanca lily and black and blue pansy."

"White and blue. I like it. Very Darren. The Casablanca lily means celebration and the pansy means loving thoughts. Have you started shopping yet?"

"I already have my suit. Yes."

"Oh, can we see it?"

Jethro smirked slightly at my assistant and I wondered why he hadn't given Palmer one of his patent looks before now. Something must have put the man in a good mood before we came.

Calmly Jethro pointed to a suit hanging on a dressing room door. It was a simple three piece black suit with a dark blue and silver stripped tie. From here I could actually see that the back of the vest and inside of the jacket were the same blue colored silk.

It was a very nice suit and I was happy to see that Jethro was getting into the mood of a wedding. I knew that his last three were not the special occasion that Darren and Timothy's were going to be. No, this one the team leader saw as one that would not end in divorce.

That must be something that soothed the younger man's mind. He had been through divorces and knew just how messy and harmful all of that could be to everyone around them.

With Darren and Timothy it was different. After Shannon died Jethro got married because he thought he had to. Darren and Timothy were getting married because they were in love.

It was a beautiful thing to see and I could not wait for the wedding. I had heard rumors that Darren was going to be making all of the desserts and, having tasted the cupcakes that he brought two months ago as a taste test I knew that it was going to be marvelous.

"Sorry about that," Darren sighed hanging up the phone, "They needed to know a time for their delivery."

"And what time is that?" I asked calmly.

"I told them to get there two hours before the wedding so around five. The wedding starts at seven. Unless that's too late for everyone. I can still call back and…"

"Darren, my lad, I am sure that everyone is going to be fine with the time. It will provide a beautiful light."

"That's what I was hoping for. I wanted to do something at twilight, but it would be too dark by then and we'd have to use lights to see and that would ruin the entire thing. So I picked Timothy's favorite time of the day. Dusk. Don't let him fool you into thinking he's a morning person. It's all an act."

"I'm sure it is. Shall we shop now?"

"Actually, I hope you don't mind, Ducky, but while Dad and I were looking for his suit I saw this one and thought of you."

"Not at all. Allow me to try it on."

Taking the tux from Darren I went into the dressing room and looked at it. I could see where Darren thought of me when he saw it. A very simple midnight blue tux with black bowtie. It was perfect.

As I walked out of the dressing room I saw Darren and Palmer working their way through a rack of clothing. My assistant already had his arms full of clothing so he quickly moved into a dressing room when Darren asked him to.

"Do you like it, Ducky?" Darren questioned with a grin.

"I do," I nodded, "It is very me."

"I'm glad. I'm going to help Jimmy."

Darren walked away with a laugh as he saw Palmer waving him over with almost a panicked look on his face. It was good to seem them getting along so well. They had become friends quite quickly.

"He called you 'Dad'," I said not looking at Jethro.

"He did," Jethro smiled.

"Something else happened too, didn't it?"

"He asked me to give him away."

Before I could say anything else Darren and Palmer were walking up to us. He had on a light blue button up shirt, dark gray trousers and blazer, and a black and silver stripped tie.

"You look nice, Mr. Palmer," I complimented.

"Thanks, Dr. Mallard," Palmer grinned, "So do you. And thank you for helping me find an outfit that would go well with Breena's dress."

"No problem, Jimmy," Darren shrugged, "You two are going to look amazing."

"Yeah, but Breena always looks amazing. I mean, we're not going to look amazing enough to still the spotlight from you and McGee. It's all about you two that day and…"

"Jimmy, I know what you mean."


	48. Chapter 48

"Just three more days, Tim," I muttered to myself as the team and I cleared the house, "Three more days until your wedding. Three more days until your much needed honeymoon."

Sighing to myself I heard everyone else yell clear before I did the same. As soon as that was done I heard someone else carefully walk into the house. It had taken some convincing after what happened to me, but Darren had joined us today.

Though now that I thought about it the only reason he was really here was because it was so close to our wedding. He had actually glared at not only Gibbs, but the Director until they let him come.

Darren didn't have the ability to fire a gun and he wasn't a fighter, but he had a power about him that I knew could be just as dangerous. Even without him getting a degree in psychology he could read people.

We had never fought badly enough for him to use that against me. That didn't mean that I hadn't seen it happen. That was the only time I ever saw Darren as someone to fear.

I had pointed it out to Darren before and gave me a confused look. He had no idea that he had that ability. Honestly, he hated that he could do that. He never wanted to be seen as someone to be feared.

When all of this started I had tried to see the similarities between Darren and Gibbs. While some things stood out, stubborn, smart, loyal, they were also so different too, loud to quiet, emotionally open to emotionally closed and more.

After their first meeting alone I wondered if I had made the right choice. I knew that they were family and that I really had no say in it, but I knew just how easy it was for a Father to feel disappointment in their son and vise versa.

I had thought that maybe it would be better if they never truly got to know each other. If they never got to know each other than they'd never have the relationship that my Father and I had.

In the back of my mind I kept thinking that. I kept wondering if I had done the right thing. It wasn't until I heard Darren refer to Gibbs as 'Dad' that I saw that everything was going to be fine.

Darren and Gibbs truly thought of each other as family now. Was that going to change now that we were getting married? Was our marriage going to be a good or bad thing for their relationship?

I loved Darren. I loved him with everything that I was. And as much as it pained me to even think if our marriage was going to hurt their relationship I'd leave. I'd be fine as long as I knew Darren was happy.

Anyone could see that Darren was much more unsure of our relationship than I was, but that didn't mean I didn't question it. At the most random times I found myself wondering if I was right for the man.

He needed someone that was strong and powerful not only physically, but emotionally. The thought of me hurting him because I wasn't enough for him broke my heart as much as the thought of us separating.

Was I? Was I really strong enough to be the person that Darren could lean on? For the rest of our lives could I be the right person for the man that I loved? Or would I end up breaking him?

"Hey," Darren softly spoke his hand coming to rest on my shoulder, "You okay?"

"Yeah," I nodded, "I'm…"

My sentence was cut off when Tony suddenly yelled for someone to freeze. Without thinking I pushed Darren behind me and pointed my gun on the figure now running into the room.

A shock ran through my body when I saw that the figure was that of a six year old girl. She looked so terrified and with the tears streaming down her face younger than she was.

Her dark skin tone and bright blue eyes let me know that she was most likely related to the victim we had in our morgue. If I was thinking the right thing she was probably his little sister.

I kept my gun trained on her for a moment longer not really sure if she was a suspect or a victim, but when she fell to her knees a sob falling from her lips I lowered it to my side.

Darren moved out from behind me slowly and made his way over to the girl. He calmly kneeled next to her and muttered something low enough that I couldn't hear, but the little girl threw her arms around his neck.

Over her shoulder Darren gave me a desperate pleading look as he wrapped his arms around her and let her sob into his chest. It was so odd to see him with a child in his arms.

I had always wanted kids. It was more difficult to do that if I was marrying a man, but not impossible. And with Darren's past I knew that he'd want to adopt or at least become a foster home.

That was something that I had no problem with. I just simply wanted to be able to have the joys that came with being a parent. Whether or not the child was related to me by blood was the last thing that was important to me.

The only thing though was the fact that Darren and I hadn't really talked about the family aspect of our future. We both simply knew that it was something that both of us wanted.

Seeing Darren now as he comforted the little girl I felt my heart well with want. In my mind I could see him doing the same when our child fell off their bike or had a bad day or simply wanted a hug.

I had to talk to Darren. We were just about to get married, but the idea of us starting a family together so soon was just…It was just something that I truly wanted to happen.

We had been taking things slowly though and I had no problems with that. I understood where Darren was coming from. I wanted him to be happy. I wanted him to want this as much as I did.

Over the past few months I had learned something about Darren. I learned that some times the man needed a push in the right direction. Maybe that was what he needed right now.

But did I want to bring a child into our relationship? Not that we were unstable. We were getting married and I wasn't going to let Darren walk away anymore than he was going to let me.

No, the thing that I found myself worrying over was the accidents that came with being in law enforcement. I was going to get hurt more times than I wanted to think about and my family was going to be threatened at some point in time.

Was having a child in my life going to be worth all of that? Would I be able to protect them from the pain that this job caused? What would they do if I got hurt or worse killed on the job?

"McGee," Gibbs voice interrupted my thoughts, "Take Darren and Vanessa to the base."

Nodding my head I helped Darren up and led him to the car. Vanessa was still attached to him, but now I saw that her breathing had even out. She had cried herself to sleep.

I helped Darren put Vanessa in the backseat before both of us climbed into the front and made our way to the base. The ride was quiet, but Darren's hand was soon gripping my thigh.

Slowly I turned to look at the younger man only to see him staring out the window. I wasn't even sure that he knew what he was doing, but I knew that he was hurting right now.

"Hey," I whispered patting his hands softly, "What are you thinking?"

"I remember being that scared," Darren answered his voice just as soft.

"You don't have to be scared now."

"What about the children that do? I was adopted early by the Hotchner's because I was so young. What about the older kids? What about…"

"Shh. I know it's hard, Darren, but you have to know that not all the families are bad."

"I do know that, but I also know that bad houses too. What if that's where Vanessa ends up? In a bad house?"

"Darren, you don't…"

"I was in the system, Timothy. I know that there's good as well as bad and the good far outweighs the bad, but it's still there. I know that and I keep thinking that I should be helping them. That I should be doing something. I just…"

"Listen to me, Darren. You had something horrible happen to you when you were in the system and it wasn't until recently that you even talked about it, started to face what happened. You had to take care of you before you could even think of taking care of them."

"And now?"

"Now?"

Pulling into a parking lot I saw that no one else was around before looking to the backseat and seeing Vanessa fast asleep. With a nod of my head I threaded a hand through Darren's hair and brought him into a kiss.

"Now we get married," I said pulling back, "Then we become a foster home and maybe we adopt some children of our own."

"Timothy," Darren's voice filled with shock, "Are you…I mean, you don't have…"

"I want to do this. I want to do this for us. I want us to have a family together. I want so much for us, Darren. And I promise. One day we'll have everything I dream of."


	49. Chapter 49

"Isn't that a little weird, Gibbs?" McGee questioned looking around at everyone, "I mean, aren't we supposed to open up our wedding presents after the honeymoon or at least after the wedding?"

"Then we wouldn't know how you really feel about them," Abby cut in, "You could just lie if you opened them alone."

I saw McGee roll his eyes slightly at that though a smile was on his face. By now everyone on the team knew just how badly it would end for them if they were caught in a lie by Abby.

In the end Abby had gotten her way once more. Which was why everyone on the team plus Breena and Sarah were piled in McGee and Darren's home with unopened presents and small finger sandwiches that McGee had made earlier.

A small smile came to my face as I looked around at everyone before my eyes came to rest on the engaged couple. Darren was sitting comfortably on the floor with his back resting on the couch head lulled to the side as McGee ran a hand through his hair.

It had taken me awhile to be truly comfortable with the idea of my son dating a member of my team, but I was far past that now that I could see just how happy they made each other.

"We should open them in alphabetical order," Darren smiled, "So, Abby first."

A grin blossomed on the woman's face when she heard that before she jumped up and grabbed two small presents from the stack and handed one to each of the boys. They looked confused about why there were two, but opened them none the less.

Darren's was opened first the rainbow and skull wrapping paper opened carefully. Inside was wrappings was a small journal. Purple leather with a black swirl planet design. I had to admit it was beautiful. The smile on Darren's face said he agreed with me.

McGee opened his next. A box came into view and his eyes widened. It took a moment, but he finally showed everyone the present. A small feather pen set with extra ink.

It was nice to see the three of them getting along. Maybe not fully trusting each other, but they had still taken a step in the right direction. And I was happy to know that was happening.

When Darren and Abby fought and everything that Abby had done came into light I couldn't help but feel so much anger and disappointment at not only her, but at myself as well.

Why I hadn't seen everything that had happened until it was almost too late I didn't know. I wasn't going to let that happen again if I can avoid it. I wasn't going to let my family get hurt.

"Thank you, Abby," McGee said pulling her into a hug before Darren did the same.

"They're beautiful," Darren continued.

"I'm glad you like them," Abby happily bounced, "I know you don't usually written, Tim, but I just saw it and…"

"I love it, Abby. I've always wanted to have a feather pen, but I never got around to getting one. I can't wait to use it."

"I can just see it now," Darren grinned suddenly standing it, "Timothy in his study a piece of parchment in front of him pipe placed between his lips as the sound of smooth jazz fills the room. It's night time, the room only lit by the soon fading candles. Suddenly a light fills the room through the windows. Lightning. A loud rumble shakes the house's very foundation, but no, Timothy doesn't move to look outside even as the wind suddenly starts to beat rain into the side of the house.

The world is gone. Simply a man and his writings. The storm rages outside worrying people in the houses surrounding him. He never says a word. No other sounds are in the house except for the smooth jazz and thunder. The pen is poised on top of the parchment and then…"

Everyone watched Darren as he made his way through the room acting out the things he was saying. If he hadn't gone into psychology he could have had a good career as a writer himself or as an actor. He did have everyone eating the words right out of his hands.

"Timothy realizes he's forgotten to walk the dog and knows that he's going to be cleaning up whatever mess Jett makes," Darren continued falling onto the couch next to Tony.

Laughter filled the air as McGee wadded up the wrapping paper and threw it at Darren who ducked slight. It was beautiful to see the two of them like this. Almost like everything we saw at work faded into the background.

It took awhile for the laughter to stop long enough for Tony to pull out the presents he had gotten them. Again both of the boxes were small, but no one truly seemed to care about that.

This time McGee opened his present first. He looked a little wary of doing that, but given it was DiNozzo I wasn't all that surprised. The surprise came when McGee lifted a pocket watch out of the box.

It was very simple pocket watch. It was a nice silver plating for both watch and chain. On the front was an inscription of the date of the wedding and when opened you could see the workings of the clock.

Darren opened his then revealing another pocket watch. His was darker in color and had a Celtic design on the front that was similar to the ring that he was wearing and green inlay.

"Tony," McGee breathed before standing up and hugging the man.

"Figured you two could wear them tomorrow," Tony shrugged returning the hug, "You know something new for the brides."

Though everyone could see that Tony was joking I saw the small smile that came to the mans face when McGee pulled back only to have Darren pull him into a hug as well.

Out of everyone that I cared about Abby and Tony were the people that I worried about the most when Darren joined our family. In the end I have to say that Tony didn't act like I was expecting at all.

McGee was Tony's little brother there was no other way to put that. When Tony found out that McGee and Darren were dating I saw his protective nature come out. I don't know how, but Darren passed the test.

Then it came out that Darren was my son. Saying I was worried that Tony would fight with Darren was an understatement. Tony thought of me as his father I knew that. I knew how badly it could end.

Instead of doing anything that I thought he would Tony actually helped Darren when he hadn't been talking with McGee. I had to admit that I was proud of him for doing that.

"We'll go next," Breena grinned, "We only got you one present, but I hope you like it."

McGee took the present out of Palmer's hand and stared at it a moment before handing it to Darren. A happy smile came to Darren's lips when he realized that he was going to be able to open the gift.

The younger man ripped the gift wrap quickly almost like he knew what it was going to be. That thought became clear when I saw the grin he came on his face before he launched himself at the other two.

Ever since Darren had interviewed Palmer I noticed that they seemed to grow closer. Now it was almost like the two of them were best friends. Something that both of them seemed happy about.

I knew that not only had Darren and McGee gone on dates with Palmer and Breena, but there were points in time when Darren and Palmer hung out alone outside of work.

Palmer was the one that seemed to question where he stood in the team dynamic the most. He knew he was important, but he wasn't a confident person. Darren, luckily, seemed to help him with that.

That was another reason I had found myself answering Palmer's questions about the wedding when we went suit shopping. He needed the confidence and between Darren and Breena he was gaining that.

"Thank you two," Darren pulled back, "I love it."

"It is beautiful," McGee said showing everyone a painting.

The painting was a little odd to me, but they liked it so I didn't really think about it. Black, blue, gray and white painting with a staircase in the middle, an eye underneath that, and a dove to one side while roses were to the other. It was different, but nice.

Looking away from the painting I saw the grin on Palmer's face. He looked happy that he was able to pick out something that Darren obviously loved. Yes, the two of them were defiantly good friends now.

"I believe I should go next," Ducky smiled, "I only go you one as well."

This time Darren let McGee open the present though it did take Darren glaring at the man to make him agree to that. McGee was still pouting slightly as he opened the gift only to have an excited look over his face.

Pulling the gift out slowly I saw it was a sushi and tea set. It was a dark gray color with a white flower design on the plates and kettle, but not on the cups. It was very simple.

Ducky was the person that seemed to have the least amount of problems with everything that happened. He wasn't surprised that Darren and McGee were dating, at least not that he showed.

I knew that without him I probably would still be trying to figure out how to tell the team that Darren was my son. That news did surprise him. He took everything in stride though and helped me.

The older man was smart and more often than not already knew what was going on before anyone told him. I was happy to be able to think of the Medical Examiner as my best friend.

"Ducky," McGee sighed, "It's beautiful."

"I overheard you and Darren talking about needing a new tea set and I know how much you both like sushi," Ducky nodded, "I saw this when I was out getting some new tea. I hope you both like it."

"Love it," Darren answered.

"Open mine next," Sarah jumped up, "Well, actually Darren, Tim stand up and close your eyes."

The boys did what Sarah said both rolling their eyes at each other before doing so. It seemed that this was something that the woman had done a lot of the times. Or they knew better than fighting her.

The first time that I had met Sarah it wasn't under the best circumstances, but even with that I found that the investigation had brought out the best in not only Sarah, but McGee as well.

I had never seen that fierce protection in McGee's eyes and to know that he was doing that for his sister was something I liked. I liked it even more because I knew that he would do the same with Darren.

I watched as Sarah pulled a top hat out of a box and placed it on Darren's head. It was brown with an almost swirl design on it, goggles resting on the rim, and clock parts on the side with feathers attached to it.

Next she pulled out a brown leather jacket and slipped it onto McGee. It was a little odd to watch him follow his sister's orders without opening his eyes. This had to have happened before.

"Okay," Sarah clapped, "Look."

Both Darren and McGee opened their eyes only to have them grin when they saw each other. McGee stepped forward and took the hat off Darren's head and spun it in his hands.

"Sarah," Darren grinned taking the hat out of McGee's hands, "It's just what I wanted."

"I'm glad," Sarah responded hugging him tightly.

"I like my present too if anyone cares," McGee shrugged.

"Nope, really don't," Darren snarked at him.

"And the night before our wedding."

Darren and Sarah shared a look before turning to McGee in unison and sticking their tongues out at him. McGee shook his head as he pulled the both of them into a tight hug.

"My presents along with Gibbs are outside," Ziva stood.

"Let's go," Darren grinned placing his hat on his head, "Should I wear this tomorrow?"

"Only if you want me to burn it," McGee shook his head, "I love it, but not at our wedding."

Darren shrug his shoulders and opened the door to the backyard. For the most part the yard was dark so no one saw the gifts until Ziva flicked the light switch causing lights to come on.

The first lights I noticed were blue kssar lights. They were hanging from the porch a few feet apart. There were only four of them, but with the slight sway the wind was causing it was beautiful.

The next set of lights were around and in the trees. They were string lights, but the lights were in little balls that were two different colors. A light cream color and a dark pink.

When it came to Ziva she was the one that I had no idea how she felt about everything that had happened. That happened more often than not though. She was never one to let her emotions show.

This did show a lot though. I knew that those lights were difficult to find. She liked Darren as not only a friend, but as my son. And she liked the idea of him marrying McGee.

"Ziva," McGee breathed, "It's beautiful."

"It really is," Darren agreed, "Like a light wonderland!"

Ziva smiled when he said that. It was odd, but she actually looked like she had no idea if they would actually like her gift. By the looks on their faces they more than liked them.

"Is that…" Darren started.

"What?" McGee asked turning around.

Slowly Darren walked towards a small fire pit that was filled with fire glass. I walked behind him and pulled out a match before lighting the glass. Soon a nice fire was burning.

Darren looked back at me before sending a wide smile to McGee who was now walking towards us. The fire bounced off my son as he straightened up and stared calmly at me.

"Thank you, Dad," Darren nodded, "It's amazing."

"Glad you like it," I responded.

"I don't want to cut this late," Sarah interrupted, "But you two are going to look horrible tomorrow if we don't go to bed soon."

"She's right," McGee sighed, "I'll see you tomorrow, Darren."

McGee and Darren shared a soft kiss before everyone started to clean everything up. Soon everyone but Darren and I were on their way home to catch up on their sleep for tomorrow.

"I have one last gift," I calmly said moving around the couch to pick up the last gift.

"I didn't see that before," Darren stated confused.

Darren gave me a smile as he took the gift from my hands and opened it up. A confused smile came to his lips as pulled out a small teddy bear with a bow around his neck.

"When Kelly was born I didn't know what to do," I started taking the bear from his hands, "I was pacing and worrying and thinking that I wasn't good enough. Then I saw a stuffed bear and I gave it to her. I promised I'd do the same for my other children. I'm a little late."

"I love it," Darren whispered tears in his eyes, "I love you, Dad."

"I love you too, son. I love you too."


	50. Chapter 50

"Are you ready, Darren?" Dad asked opening the door to the car.

Looking up at my Dad I felt my breath catch in my throat. My Dad. Leroy Jethro Gibbs was my Dad. I had a Dad. No matter how many times I repeated that thought I couldn't believe it.

I couldn't really remember what it was like when the adopted me. I was so young when it happened, but I do remember how they smiled when they looked at me. It was like I was their actual child.

It had taken me so long to see that though I wasn't their child by blood and though they hadn't known me for very long they loved me. I was their child. That was why I kept their last name all this time.

Never once had I thought that I should change it. Blood or not, living or not, the Hotchner's were my family. They were my parents. And I wanted nothing more than for them to be here with me.

In the back of my mind I knew that if they were that this might not be happening. I might not have ever met Sarah or Timothy. I would never have met my biological father either.

That's what Gibbs was now. It had only taken almost a year for me to come to terms with that, but Gibbs was my Dad and that was something that I loved to be able to say.

When I was younger I had tried countless times to try to invasion what my parents would be like. I had to admit that the man in front of me was nothing like the man that I had imagined.

I had always thought that my Father would be uncaring. That he would hurt me, not the same way I'd been hurt before, but still hurt me. That my birth would be such a huge disappointment to him.

That was why it was so difficult when I found out that Gibbs was my Dad. Because then I knew that he wasn't anything like I thought he would be and I was so terrified to get close to him.

I couldn't help but wonder if he'd suddenly change when we were alone together. That all of this was just an act until he got me alone and everything I had ended up falling away from me.

Then I actually did get to talk with him. I found out that he was caring. It was a little hard for him to express that, but he was a caring person. And without even knowing me he cared.

It was so odd to think that. I hadn't have someone care about me without knowing me in a long time. Is this what they meant when they said a parent loved their child unconditionally?

"Nervous?" Gibbs questioned offering me his hand.

"Very," I sighed, "Do you think we're moving too fast?"

"Darren, do you know what I see when I look at you and McGee?"

"What?"

"I see two people that are very much in love. Get married or don't it doesn't matter because that love is never going to change and you are never going to not be a part of my family."

"Just me or is Timothy too?"

"McGee is my family just as much as you are. Nothing will change that."

"What if we ever divorce?"

"Not happening."

"Dad…"

Dad carefully reached up and fixed one of the collars on my double collared white blazer. He stared into my eyes for a moment before I watched a small smile come to his lips.

"Listen to me, Darren," Dad firmly stated, "You're not going to divorce and do you know how I know that?"

"How?" I asked confused.

"Because you look at McGee the same way I know I looked at Shannon."

Staring at my Dad I let him pull me out of the car and into his arms. I knew that it was difficult for him to say what he just did. For him to talk about his family, but he seemed to do that for me. I loved that.

"Let's go, Dad," I nodded, "I don't think I should be late for my own wedding."

Gibbs nodded his head slowly and linked his arm with mine. It was time to start walking down that aisle and as terrified as I was I couldn't wait to see what my Timothy looked like.

As we started to walk down towards him though I found myself looking at the crowd. Penny and Jackson were sitting next to each other with proud smiles on their faces.

My Grandparents, one by blood, one by marriage. So very different from each other, but at this moment in time with those smiles I knew that they were feeling the same thing.

They loved Timothy and I and in all the time they knew me they through of me as family. Both protective in their own way, both happy, both loving. And they were both willing to be family.

Next I saw Ziva. The Israeli looked beautiful and she had such a soft smile on her face. So exotic and peaceful, but I knew what was laying underneath that peace and calmness.

It wasn't hard to see that Ziva thought of Timothy as her little brother. It was even easier to see that she was a dangerous person. One that would end up making me disappear if I did anything to hurt Timothy.

And as much as I knew that I had seen her looking at me as well. Ziva had started to think of me as her family as well. I wasn't nearly as close to her as Timothy was, but I was getting there.

On the other side of the aisle sat Jimmy and Breena. Out of everyone on the team Jimmy was the one that I was closest to. The man had slowly come one of my best friends. The same had happened with Breena.

The four of us had been on double dates a few times since Timothy came out to everyone. Because of that I was simply waiting for Jimmy to tell us that they were getting married themselves.

Abby was sitting in front of them bouncing slightly. For a moment I thought that maybe she wanted to leave or stop the wedding, but then she looked over at me and grinned.

We got off to a rocky start and were still on rocky terms, but we were getting along. It was going to take awhile before we were friends and we were going to have the time to do just that.

Ducky was sitting next to Abby. He looked like he was the calmest person. In truth I kind of was hoping to hear the older man start to tell some story about something or another. I just needed to hear his calming voice.

Standing on the left side of the priest I saw my best friend. I owed everything to that woman. Without her I never would have known what I was missing if she hadn't needed to burrow that book.

I met the man I loved through her. I loved her like my sister. Honestly, I thought of her as my family longer than Timothy. To see her standing there with the smile had me smiling back at her.

I skipped past looking at Timothy so I could look at Tony. I owed a lot to him as well. Without him I knew that I'd probably still be fighting with Timothy and I couldn't be happier about that.

This was my family. It didn't matter that most of us weren't related by blood. This team was my family just as much as Gibbs and Jackson was. It had taken twenty-seven years to find a family and I ended up finding this one.

Taking a deep breath I looked over at my soon-to-be husband. My heart speed up as I saw the man I loved more than anything standing there with the biggest grin on his face that I had ever seen.

His hands were clasped in front of him his white vest and button up shirt glowing in the sunlight. He looked so beautiful and soon that beauty was going to be my life forever.

"Hey," I sighed when I was in front of Timothy.

"Hi," Timothy smiled taking my hands in his.

"Ladies and Gentlemen," the priest started, "Today we're here to…"

In the back of my mind I realized that I should be paying attention to what the man was saying, but I was so focused on Timothy. That smile on his face, his green eyes, and well everything about him.

This man was going to be my husband. I was going to share the rest of my life with him and that was the most amazing thing that I had ever thought of. And I couldn't wait to see what was going to happen.

"The couple has decided to write their own vows," the priest nodded, "Darren."

"Timothy," I started, "I don't know how to explain everything that you mean to me or everything that you've done for me. When we met you were just my best friends older brother. Someone that I thought was too kind for their own good. I expecting to maybe see you a handful of times and only because of Sarah.

Then we spent the day together talking about nothing and for the first time in my life I didn't feel like I had my past hanging over me. I felt like I was actually a normal person. I was terrified when I realized that after just a few hours I was falling in love with you. So I pulled away.

I doubt Sarah told you, but for months before you asked me out she kept trying to get us to hang out again. Every time I blew her off. I didn't want to fall for you. I didn't want to drag you down to my level. I never thought that instead of me bringing you down you'd pull me up.

We've been together for almost two years now and in that span of time I found myself wanting to run so many times that I didn't know what to do. I remember packing my bags more than once thinking that I had to leave. I had to leave so you could find someone better. Then you'd come home.

And when I say home I don't mean our house or the apartment we used to live in. I mean you came to me. You came to my heart and I never thought that I'd have this. Having a physical home is one thing. It's a nice thing, but no matter where we live the only thing that will make it my home is knowing that you're there.

Timothy, in the two years that we dated you gave me more than I could ever imagine. You gave me a family that I never knew. You gave me hope for a future that I thought was filled with darkness. Mostly though, you gave me a love that I never thought I'd deserve. I don't know how to say thank you or how to show you how much all of this means to me, but I hope that saying this is a start.

I love you, Timothy McGee. More than anything in this world and I promise to stand by you through everything. I promise to be there when you need someone to hold you. I promise to run into walls just to make you laugh when you need that. I promise to make you smile whenever your cry. I promise to kiss you and tell you I love you every day. And I promise to never leave as long as you want me. I promise to love you for the rest of my life, Timothy. Forever and for always."

By the time I had finished my vows I found that I had tears running down my face. Timothy let out a soft laugh at that and reached up to wipe the tears away before squeezing my hands.

"Timothy," the priest smiled.

"Darren," Tim said staring into his eyes, "Saying I love you is an understatement. So is saying you are my heart and saying that you are my everything. Everyone continues to say how much I have done for you, but I knew that's only half the story. You have brought so much into my life as well.

I have a family. I have my Grandmother and my sister. I have my team who I consider my family. I have an amazing job where I get to help people. I have a wonderful hobby where I get to express everything that I feel. I have money. And for awhile that was enough, but I knew that I wanted more.

When we met I didn't trust you and I don't know what changed my mind, but I am so glad that I decided to ask you out because in that one date I saw everything that I needed to see. I don't care what happened in your past. I don't care how dark it was and I don't care that our future is going to have some darkness in it as well. You bring so much light in my life that I know the darkness will never get too dark.

Now that I have you in my life I see what I was missing all my life. I was missing a person that I loved more than anything. Someone that knew everything about me without thinking about it. That I could look at and know everything about them.

Darren, you are the strongest person that I have ever met. You overcame everything that happened and you still see the good in the world. You still smile. I watch you and I see someone with a pure heart. And I want to keep it that way.

I want to protect you from everything even when you don't need it. I want to wake up everyday and have my arms wrapped around you. I want to see you smile at the beauty in the world that I can't see. I want to hear you telling me random facts that I have no idea how you know. I want to be able to tell you that I love you every second of everyday.

I love you, Darren Hotchner with everything that I am. I will never not want you by my side. I will never walk away from this no matter what happens. This is where I belong and I couldn't be happier about that."

Grinning happily at his words I let out a shaky breath and used all of my self control not to reach up and pull him into a kiss. Luckily, I didn't have to wait all that long.

"I now pronounce you man and man," the priest said announcing the newest and the most amazing chapter in my life, "You may kiss your husband."


End file.
